


the crackhead club

by heckyheck_icravedeath



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Ben is the only straight kid, Bev is Bi, Everyone is Gay Except Ben Hanscom, Fluff, LMAO, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, Losers Club (IT) Group Chat, Multi, SO, Teenage Losers Club (IT), The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yeahhhh, also everyone is a little shit, and i mean SMALL, beautiful friendship, but for the most part it's the group chat, but like, but like not for a little while, how about a big fuck you pennywise, i am just like, i want them to be happy, it's your average internet friendship, like they meet through this group chat and become besties, really for that, so here is their happiness, some chapters will be like actual writing and shit, there will be a very VERY small amount of angst, they all just roast each other, they don't know each other, they meet eventually, this fic is just them being crackheads in a group chat, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-01-30 08:36:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21425314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckyheck_icravedeath/pseuds/heckyheck_icravedeath
Summary: (207) 836-6275:sup losers(207) 621-4059:who the fuck are you??(207) 836-6275:your mom’s boyfriend
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 295
Kudos: 624





	1. and so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to my attempt at genuinely ignoring chapter two. this fic is just the losers on crack in a group chat. a beautiful thing 
> 
> basically,,,,Richie makes a group chat because he's bored and lonely and the random numbers he adds to the group chat just so happen to be Eddie, Bev, Bill, Ben, Mike, and Stan. they're 18 and it's the summer before they head off to college when Richie starts the chat. 10/10
> 
> for this chapter, the numbers are: 
> 
> Eddie - (207) 621-4059  
Richie - (207) 836-6275  
Beverly - (207) 443-7804  
Ben - (207) 163-9557  
Bill - (207) 294-7310  
Mike - (207) 946-3158  
Stan- (207) 508-3725
> 
> enjoy the first chapter!!!

**June 28th**

—

**(207) 836-6275 made a group chat with (207) 621-4059, (207) 443-7804, (207) 163-9557, (207) 294-7310, (207) 946-3158, (207) 508-3725**

—

_(207) 836-6275:_ sup losers 

_(207) 621-4059:_ who the fuck are you?? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ your mom’s boyfriend 

_(207) 443-7804:_ did you really just- 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i did 

_(207) 836-6275:_ what about it 

_(207) 443-7804:_ are you a fucking 12 year old ??? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ nope

_(207) 836-6275:_ i'm very much an adult 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Why am I in this? I don't know any of you 

_(207) 836-6275:_ that’s the point 

_(207) 836-6275:_ we’re supposed to get to know each other and become friends 

_(207) 508-3725:_ I don't want to get to know you or become your friend 

_(207) 508-3725:_ You make “your mom” jokes like a fucking fetus 

_(207) 836-6275:_ oh come on 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i'm a fun person 

_(207) 836-6275:_ just give me a chance

_(207) 621-4059:_ you don't deserve a chance 

_(207) 836-6275:_ rude 

_(207) 294-7310:_ hello? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ another has joined us! 

_(207) 163-9557:_ hey! 

_(207) 836-6275:_ another one omg 

_(207) 836-6275:_ hello human 

_(207) 163-9557:_ how are you? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ it's official 

_(207) 836-6275:_ you're the only valid one here 

_(207) 836-6275:_ but i'm okay

_(207) 836-6275:_ thank you for asking sweet child 

_(207) 163-9557:_ that's good! and no problem! 

_(207) 946-3158:_ who are you people? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ since we don't know each other we should go around and say our names 

_(207) 508-3725:_ I’m not sharing my name with a bunch of random people 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i second that statement

_(207) 836-6275:_ wow 

_(207) 836-6275:_ talk about boring 

_(207) 163-9557:_ well i'm Ben! 

_(207) 836-6275:_ again,,,you're the only valid one here 

_(207) 836-6275:_ but hola Ben! i'm Richie 

_(207) 443-7804:_ fuck it 

_(207) 443-7804:_ i'm Beverly 

_(207) 836-6275:_ bonjour Beverly

_(207) 946-3158:_ well if we're all sharing,,,i'm Mike 

_(207) 836-6275:_ thank you for joining us Mike 

_(207) 294-7310:_ my name's Bill 

_(207) 836-6275:_ welcome sir Bill 

_(207) 621-4059:_ how are all of you okay with just,,,telling strangers your names?? 

_(207) 443-7804:_ i have no will to live so it doesn't matter to me 

_(207) 836-6275:_ big fucking mood 

_(207) 836-6275:_ but man 

_(207) 836-6275:_ you can tell me your name 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i don't bite 

_(207) 836-6275:_ unless you want me to ;) 

_(207) 621-4059:_ never speak to me again 

_(207) 836-6275:_ harsh 

_(207) 508-3725:_ What the fuck 

_(207) 836-6275:_ oh yeah 

_(207) 836-6275:_ you gotta share your name too 

_(207) 508-3725:_ No 

_(207) 836-6275:_ please 

_(207) 508-3725:_ No 

_(207) 836-6275:_ pLeAsE 

_(207) 508-3725:_ No 

_(207) 836-6275:_ PLEASE 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Oh my fuck 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Fine 

_(207) 508-3725:_ My name is Stan 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Leave me alone now 

_(207) 836-6275:_ awe Stan 

_(207) 836-6275:_ don't be like that 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Shut up 

_(207) 836-6275:_ :( 

_(207) 508-3725:_ :/ 

_(207) 836-6275:_ fine 

_(207) 836-6275:_ be that way 

_(207) 836-6275:_ now we’re waiting on one more personnnnn 

_(207) 621-4059:_ and you'll be waiting forever 

_(207) 621-4059:_ it's not fucking happening 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i think you're just embarrassed of your name 

_(207) 836-6275:_ and that's why you won't tell it 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i'm not embarrassed of it 

_(207) 836-6275:_ then say it 

_(207) 621-4059:_ fuck you 

_(207) 836-6275:_ at least let me buy you dinner first 

_(207) 621-4059:_ just for that 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i'll never say my name 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Please for the love of god 

_(207) 508-3725:_ Just tell him your fucking name 

_(207) 163-9557:_ you don't have to tell us 

_(207) 163-9557:_ do what makes you comfortable 

_(207) 621-4059:_ you're the only person i like here now 

_(207) 443-7804:_ what did i ever do to you to be disliked ?

_(207) 621-4059:_ good point 

_(207) 621-4059:_ let me rephrase that 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i like everyone here EXCEPT for Richie 

_(207) 836-6275:_ apparently you like me enough to call me by my name ;) 

_(207) 621-4059:_ no 

_(207) 621-4059:_ stop that 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i cannot do such a thing 

_(207) 294-7310:_ so 

_(207) 294-7310:_ you don't HAVE to tell us your name 

_(207) 294-7310:_ but if we're going to be friends 

_(207) 294-7310:_ you should tell us 

_(207) 443-7804:_ i agree

_(207) 946-3158:_ i also agree 

_(207) 621-4059:_ jesus 

_(207) 621-4059:_ fine 

_(207) 621-4059:_ but if i get murdered by one of you 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i swear to g o d 

_(207) 443-7804:_ no one is going to murder you?? 

_(207) 621-4059:_ you never know 

_(207) 621-4059:_ but whatever 

_(207) 621-4059:_ i'm Eddie 

_(207) 836-6275:_ that's CUTE 

_(207) 621-4059:_ shut the fuck up

_(207) 836-6275:_ that's cute too 

_(207) 621-4059:_ w 

_(207) 621-4059:_ what?? 

_(207) 836-6275:_ ;) 

_(207) 621-4059:_ stop with the fucking winky face 

_(207) 836-6275:_ ; ) 

_(207) 836-6275:_ wait 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i must name you all 

_(207) 836-6275:_ the numbers are giving me a headache 

_(207) 443-7804:_ have fun with that 

_(207) 836-6275:_ i will 

_(207) 836-6275:_ and i'll come up with nicknames eventually :)) 

_(207) 621-4059:_ please don't 

_(207) 836-6275:_ :)))))) 

**(207) 836-6275 changed their name to Richie.**

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 621-4059’s name to Eddie. **

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 443-7804’s name to Beverly. **

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 163-9557’s name to Ben. **

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 294-7310’s name to Bill.**

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 946-3158’s name to Mike. **

**(207) 836-6275 changed (207) 508-3725’s name to Stan.**

_Richie:_ it has been done 

_Eddie:_ unfortunate 

_Stan:_ Very unfortunate 

_Stan:_ I’m stuck here now 

_Richie:_ yes you are 

_Richie:_ all of you are stuck here now 

_Richie:_ get ready for the time of your life 

_Richie:_ :)


	2. the gays + ben

**June 29th**

—

**Richie, Eddie, Beverly, Ben, Bill, Mike, Stan - Group Chat**

—

_Beverly:_ so 

_Beverly:_ how old are y’all? 

_Richie:_ 18 

_Beverly:_ oh shit 

_Beverly:_ me too 

_Richie:_ t w i n s

_Eddie:_ it shocks me that you're a legal adult 

_Richie:_ honestly same 

_Eddie:_ dude 

_Eddie:_ what the fuck 

_Beverly:_ ignore him 

_Beverly:_ how old are you Eddie? 

_Eddie:_ same as you 

_Richie:_ we're ALL twins 

_Eddie:_ no 

_Richie:_ :( 

_Bill:_ wait

_Bill:_ can i be added to the group?

_Bill:_ i'm 18 too 

_Richie:_ fuck yes 

_Richie:_ join us Bill 

_Ben:_ i'm 18 as well ! 

_Richie:_ my boy Ben

_Richie:_ welcome to the legal adult club

_Mike:_ i'm also 18 

_Richie:_ dude

_Richie:_ we're all 18 

_Stan:_ Wrong 

_Stan:_ I’m not 18 

_Richie:_ how old are you?? 

_Stan:_ 35 

_Richie:_ are you serious? 

_Stan:_ Dead serious 

_Richie:_ omg 

_Richie:_ you're a legal LEGAL adult 

_Beverly:_ …

_Richie:_ what 

_Beverly:_ you actually believe him when he says he's 35

_Richie:_ am i not supposed to? 

_Beverly:_ no 35 year old would stay in this chat with you 

_Richie:_ but- 

_Stan:_ You're an idiot 

_Richie:_ fight me 

_Stan:_ How? 

_Richie:_ through the phone you coward 

_Richie:_ (ง'̀-'́)ง

_Eddie:_ what the FUCK is that 

_Richie:_ he's my fighting buddy 

_Richie:_ and he's almost as feisty as you 

_Eddie:_ never speak to me again 

_Richie:_ you've said that before 

_Richie:_ come up with something better bitch 

_Mike:_ wait 

_Mike:_ Stan

_Stan:_ Yes 

_Mike:_ are you 18? 

_Stan:_ Yes I am 

_Richie:_ see 

_Richie:_ i fucking knew it 

_Stan:_ After Beverly had to tell you that I lied about being 35 

_Richie:_ leave me aLONE 

_Richie:_ i'm DUMB 

_Stan:_ Clearly 

_Richie:_ :( 

_Ben:_ i don't think you're dumb Richie 

_Richie:_ Ben 

_Richie:_ i love you 

_Ben:_ i love you too! 

_Bill:_ that's wholesome 

_Beverly:_ Ben is the only good one here 

_Richie:_ i agree 

_Ben:_ sjdjdjdj thank you ! 

_Beverly:_ the exclamation points really make me soft 

_Richie:_ right ?? 

_Stan:_ Can you two fangirl about Ben somewhere else? 

_Richie:_ no 

_Richie:_ Beverly 

_Beverly:_ what 

_Richie:_ tell me if i’m wrong 

_Stan:_ You’re wrong 

_Eddie:_ you’re wrong 

_Richie:_ i wasn’t talking to either of you 

_Eddie:_ doesn’t change anything 

_Eddie:_ you’re still wrong 

_Stan:_ Exactly 

_Beverly:_ shut the fuck up 

_Beverly:_ now what were you saying Richie 

_Richie:_ i WAS saying 

_Richie:_ tell me if i’m wrong but don’t you think that Ben probably looks so fucking cute?? 

_Beverly:_ yes 

_Beverly:_ but i don’t think 

_Beverly:_ i know 

_Beverly:_ if one texts all cute like that 

_Beverly:_ one looks all cute like that 

_Ben:_ omg stop 

_Ben:_ i’m not cute 

_Beverly:_ i disagree 

_Ben:_ you haven’t seen my face though :/ 

_Beverly:_ i don’t need to 

_Beverly:_ i just know you’re cute 

_Ben:_ skndjdjd please 

_Ben:_ you’re so sweet 

_Beverly:_ :) <3 

_Ben:_ <3 

_Richie:_ get a room 

_Beverly:_ fuck off 

_Stan:_ I hate this chat 

_Stan:_ It’s been ONE day 

_Stan:_ And I hate it 

_Richie:_ sorry that you can’t find a romance in this chat as quick as Beverly and Ben can 

_Richie:_ maybe find a romance with Eddie 

_Richie:_ you’re both mean 

_Stan:_ I hate you 

_Eddie:_ i’ll kill you 

_Richie:_ see what i mean 

_Beverly:_ nah 

_Beverly:_ i know who i ship Eddie with 

_Beverly:_ and it’s not Stan 

_Eddie:_ it’s been one day?? 

_Eddie:_ you shouldn’t ship me with anyone until at least like a week?? 

_Eddie:_ or possibly never?? 

_Beverly:_ too late 

_Beverly:_ i have a ship name and everything 

_Eddie:_ why???? 

_Beverly:_ because you’re perfect for each other 

_Eddie:_ no 

_Beverly:_ you can’t say that if you don’t know who it is 

_Eddie:_ then tell me 

_Beverly:_ no 

_Eddie:_ fucking hell 

_Richie:_ i’m intrigued 

_Richie:_ who do you ship him with? 

_Beverly:_ i can’t say 

_Beverly:_ it’s a secret 

_Stan:_ I’m 99% sure I know who it is 

_Beverly:_ oh? 

—

**Stan, Beverly - Private Message**

— 

_Stan:_ Richie 

_Beverly:_ y e s 

_Beverly:_ thank fuck i’m not the only genuis one in the group 

_Stan:_ You’d have to be blind to not see it 

_Stan:_ They were flirting within two seconds of Richie making the chat 

_Beverly:_ I KNOW 

_Beverly:_ they STILL are flirting 

_Stan:_ They fucking are 

_Beverly:_ smh 

—

**Richie, Eddie, Beverly, Ben, Bill, Mike, Stan - Group Chat**

—

_Richie:_ Beverly 

_Richie:_ come back and spill the fucking secret 

_Eddie:_ for once i agree with Richie 

_Eddie:_ i need to know who it is 

_Beverly:_ no 

_Beverly:_ only geniuses can know who it is 

_Richie:_ am i not a genius? 

_Stan:_ You definitely are not a genius 

_Richie:_ bitch 

_Ben:_ can i know who? 

_Beverly:_ yes 

_Richie:_ what the fuck 

_Eddie:_ that’s so unfair 

_Eddie:_ this is about ME 

_Eddie:_ i should be informed about this 

_Beverly:_ too bad 

_Eddie:_ i’ll fight you 

_Beverly:_ then i’ll NEVER tell you who it is 

_Eddie:_ i guess i’m suffering until you decide to tell me 

_Beverly:_ i guess so 

_Eddie:_ :/ 

_Beverly:_ oh shut up you dumb gay 

_Eddie:_ that right there 

_Eddie:_ is homophobia 

_Beverly:_ oh shit 

_Beverly:_ my bad 

_Eddie:_ lmfao 

_Eddie:_ okay but like,,,i’m impressed you could guess my sexuality after one day of texting 

_Beverly:_ i’m a woman of many talents 

_Richie:_ that’s kinky 

_Beverly:_ yes 

_Beverly:_ and you’re gay too Richie 

_Richie:_ you’re not wrong 

_Eddie:_ again 

_Eddie:_ that’s impressive 

_Beverly:_ what can i say 

_Beverly:_ it takes a gay to spot a gay 

_Bill:_ who else can you spot as a fellow gay? 

_Beverly:_ all of you except for Ben 

_Richie:_ is it true? 

_Bill:_ she’s right about me 

_Mike:_ same here 

_Stan:_ Also same 

_Ben:_ yup 

_Eddie:_ holy shit 

_Beverly:_ i know i’m amazing 

_Richie:_ we’re all like g a y right? 

_Richie:_ like no bisexual or pansexual? 

_Beverly:_ i’m bi 

_Richie:_ okay 

_Richie:_ anyone else? 

_Richie:_ i wanna make sure i know so i don’t say the wrong thing about anyone 

_Eddie:_ that’s actually sweet of you 

_Stan:_ It is 

_Bill:_ awwwe 

_Bill:_ Richie’s a nice person 

_Richie:_ i try to be mann 

_Richie:_ but besides Beverly who is bi and Ben who is straight 

_Richie:_ we’re all just g a y? 

_Bill:_ yup 

_Mike:_ yes sir 

_Eddie:_ yes

_Stan:_ Yes 

_Richie:_ alright cool 

_Eddie:_ now that we all know the sexualities in this group chat 

_Eddie:_ i think it’s fair for Beverly to tell me who she ships me with 

_Beverly:_ not happening 

_Eddie:_ god fucking damnit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw, we love some crackhead babies. 
> 
> okay, but don't you love how Beverly and Stan are already on the Reddie train lmfao. they are geniuses and i love they. 
> 
> i made this like i made the first chapter: on crack at midnight and full of depression because my life is currently falling apart. i am desperately trying to make this shit as fluffy as possible, so i can pretend like i'm not really sad. 
> 
> bUT. it's OKAY. 
> 
> anyway. please leave me a like or comment and tell me how you like it! <3


	3. richie and eddie: the chaotic duo

**June 30th**

—

**Richie, Eddie, Beverly, Ben, Bill, Mike, Stan - Group Chat**

—

_Richie:_ guess what losers 

_Mike:_ what 

_Richie:_ i got a puppy :) 

_Mike:_ awe that's awesome! 

_Eddie:_ god bless that puppy 

_Stan:_ God bless that puppy indeed 

_Richie:_ why are you both so mean to me?? 

_Richie:_ why can't you be like Mike?? 

_Beverly:_ ignore them Richie 

_Beverly:_ they're mean losers 

_Beverly:_ i for one think you'll be a great dog parent 

_Richie:_ thank you Beverly 

_Richie:_ you're my favorite besides Ben 

_Beverly:_ omg same

_Beverly:_ i love you <3

_Richie:_ i love you too <3

_Ben:_ you both own my soul sjdjdj 

_Richie:_ YOU own MY soul Benjamin

_Beverly:_ i second that statement 

_Ben:_ <3 

_Beverly:_ <3 

_Richie:_ <3 

_Bill:_ wait omg 

_Bill:_ what kind of dog? 

_Richie:_ bernese mountain dog :) 

_Mike:_ aren't those the really fluffy ones? 

_Richie:_ yes they fucking are 

_Mike:_ i need to come over and play with this puppy 

_Richie:_ do it 

_Beverly:_ Mike take me with you 

_Beverly:_ i wanna meet the pup 

_Richie:_ yes 

_Richie:_ bring Ben too 

_Ben:_ omg yes 

_Bill:_ let me come too 

_Mike:_ yes

_Mike:_ we can all get in my car and drive to Richie’s house 

_Richie:_ please actually do so 

_Mike:_ we really should

_Richie:_ you gotta pick up Stan and Eddie too 

_Stan:_ I will never willingly go to Richie's house and meet him 

_Eddie:_ i will suffer through meeting Richie just for the dog 

_Richie:_ why are you like this ?? 

_Richie:_ i've done no wrong to either of you 

_Beverly:_ Eddie's way of flirting is being an asshole 

_Beverly:_ as for Stan 

_Beverly:_ he's just mean 

_Stan:_ she's right 

_Eddie:_ EXCUSE ME??? 

_Richie:_ e x c u s e m e ? ? ? 

_Beverly:_ you heard me 

_Eddie:_ bUT I’M NOT FLIRTING?? 

_Richie:_ oh no 

_Richie:_ there's no going back now 

_Richie:_ she blew you in 

_Eddie:_ KDKKDEKDK NO 

_Richie:_ it's okay Eddie my dear

_Richie:_ i know i'm irresistible ;) 

_Eddie:_ FUCK YOU 

_Richie:_ I BET YOU'D LIKE THAT 

_Eddie:_ OH MY FUCKING GOD 

_Eddie:_ I HATE YOU 

_Richie:_ YOU DON’T THOUGH 

_Mike:_ Beverly what have you done 

_Beverly:_ it had to be said 

_Eddie:_ NO IT DIDN'T?? 

_Beverly:_ i have no regrets 

_Richie:_ you shouldn't have any 

_Richie:_ you've just blessed me with amazing information 

_Eddie:_ i will not hesitate to leave this chat 

_Richie:_ awe don't pout Eds 

_Eddie:_ don't EVER call me that again 

_Richie:_ do you prefer Eddie Spaghetti? 

_Eddie:_ NO I DO NOT 

_Richie:_ i think you do 

_Beverly:_ he does Richie 

_Eddie:_ ?????? 

_Richie:_ i have an idea:)) 

_Eddie:_ please stop this you asshat 

_Richie:_ i can't 

_Eddie:_ p l e a s e 

_Richie:_ i c a n t 

**Richie changed Eddie’s name to Spaghetti**

_Spaghetti:_ you FUCKER 

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

_Richie:_ Spaghetti

_Richie:_ don't be like that 

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

_Spaghetti:_ ST OP

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

_Richie:_ JUST LET IT HAPPEN 

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

_Spaghetti:_ N O 

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

_Bill:_ Beverly 

_Bill:_ you've started a war

_Beverly:_ whoops 

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

_Spaghetti:_ RICHIE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD 

_Richie:_ FINE 

_Richie:_ HOW ABOUT THIS 

_Richie:_ IF YOU ADMIT YOU FLIRT WITH ME 

_Richie:_ THEN ILL LET YOUR NAME JUST BE EDDIE 

_Spaghetti:_ I WILL ADMIT NO SUCH THING 

_Richie:_ GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH SPAGHETTI THEN 

_Beverly:_ i really have started a war 

_Spaghetti:_ SHUT UP 

_Spaghetti:_ I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A WORD FROM YOU 

_Beverly:_ feisty 

_Spaghetti:_ >:( 

_Richie:_ Eds 

_Richie:_ you're cute 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm going to disembowel you 

_Richie:_ kinky 

_Spaghetti:_ why are you fucking like this??

_Richie:_ you like it enough to flirt with me 

_Spaghetti:_ I WASN'T FUCKING FLIRTING 

_Spaghetti:_ I DO NOT FLIRT WITH PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET TWO DAYS AGO 

_Richie:_ LOVE/FLIRTING DOESN'T CARE ABOUT TIME 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU?? 

_Richie:_ STOP LYING TO ME 

_Spaghetti:_ I M N O T L Y I N G 

_Richie:_ U H H U H 

_Bill:_ should we,,,leave them alone? 

_Beverly:_ i think so,,,

_Stan:_ I also think so 

—

**Beverly, Stan, Mike, Bill, Ben - Group Chat**

—

_Beverly:_ back to the other day 

_Beverly:_ i ship Eddie with Richie 

_Beverly:_ and i think they are so proving that they are perfect for each other right now 

_Bill:_ they really are perfect for each other 

_Bill:_ but like,,,,do they genuinely think what they’re doing right now is not flirting?? 

_Stan:_ Bill 

_Stan:_ They are fucking idiots 

_Stan:_ They don’t know shit 

_Ben:_ they really don't know anything 

_Beverly:_ this is too amusing to watch 

_Mike:_ it really is hilarious 

_Mike:_ i’ve never met two denser people 

_Beverly:_ HA SAME 

_Bill:_ i like how Eddie said “i do not flirt with people that i have met two days ago” 

_Bill:_ can someone teach this boy that what Richie said was correct? 

_Bill:_ you can like someone right after meeting them 

_Beverly:_ EXACTLY 

—

**Beverly, Stan, Eddie, Richie, Mike, Bill, Ben - Group Chat**

—

_Spaghetti:_ GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE 

_Richie:_ WHY? 

_Richie:_ YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S IN LOVE WITH ME 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND YOU 

_Stan:_ Can you two shut the fuck up? 

_Bill:_ yes 

_Bill:_ kindly shut the fuck up 

_Stan:_ Not kindly 

_Stan:_ Just shut the fuck up

_Spaghetti:_ tell him to leave me ALONE then 

_Beverly:_ sure thing 

_Beverly:_ s p a g h e t t i 

_Richie:_ see

_Richie:_ it has a nice ring to it 

_Spaghetti:_ no it doesn't 

_Mike:_ you know what else has a nice ring to it? 

_Beverly:_ i think i know 

_Mike:_ the flirting going on between Eddie and Richie 

_Beverly:_ knew it 

_Beverly:_ and you're right 

_Spaghetti:_ first off 

_Spaghetti:_ THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE 

_Spaghetti:_ and second off 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH HIM 

_Richie:_ Eds my love 

_Richie:_ just accept it 

_Spaghetti:_ THERE IS NO LOVE BETWEEN US 

_Spaghetti:_ THEREFORE I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IT 

_Richie:_ oh look 

_Richie:_ he's lying again 

_Spaghetti:_ B I T C H 

_Richie:_ :) 

_Spaghetti:_ die 

_Richie:_ that's rude Spaghetti

**Spaghetti changed their name to Eddie**

_Eddie:_ shut the FUCK up 

**Richie changed Eddie's name to Spaghetti**

_Richie:_ i'm not going to stop with the name or with our love 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm BEGGING you to stop 

_Richie:_ you can beg me to do other things ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ that's I T 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm L E A V I N G 

_Beverly:_ this is so fucking funny 

_Mike:_ i'm fucking crying laughing 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m glad you guys are enjoying this 

_Spaghetti:_ just kidding 

_Spaghetti:_ i fucking hate all of you 

_Bill:_ lmfao i can't BREATHE 

_Richie:_ Eddie couldn't breathe last night either ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m going to make it so you can't breathe right now 

_Richie:_ Eds 

_Richie:_ that's not a threat 

_Richie:_ you know i have a breathing kink 

_Mike:_ JSJDJDJDJDDJD I'M- 

_Beverly:_ I'M CRYINGWJSJEJEJE

_Bill:_ W H E E Z E 

_Ben:_ WJWJSJSEJEJ 

_Stan:_ I literally CANNOT 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm killing myself 

_Richie:_ don't be dramatic 

_Richie:_ and don't forget

_Richie:_ i can always suck your dick later if you’re so tense and upset 

_Beverly:_ RICHIESJSKSJSJSJDJD 

_Mike:_ T E A R S 

_Bill:_ I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF 

_Ben:_ M O O D 

_Spaghetti:_ S T O P T H I S 

_Spaghetti:_ PLE ASE

_Richie:_ MY MOUTH ALWAYS PLEASES 

_Richie:_ JUST SAYING 

_Spaghetti:_ I BET IT DOESN'T

_Richie:_ ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ you're such a trashmouth 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate you 

_Richie:_ why don't you just call me trashmouth then? ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not amused 

_Richie:_ i know 

_Richie:_ you're aroused ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ I WISH DEATH UPON YOU

_Stan:_ GoD BLESS ME 

_Beverly:_ I'M LITERALLY S O B B I N G 

_Ben:_ MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES 

_Bill:_ HOLY SHITFUCKSJHJDJS 

_Mike:_ WHEEEEEZEHEHWHDJSJSJ

_Spaghetti:_ i'm literally going to LEAVE 

_Richie:_ and then you'll come back because you can't stay away from me for long :) 

_Spaghetti:_ wanna fucking bet 

_Richie:_ last time we made a bet

_Richie:_ i won 

_Spaghetti:_ ??? 

_Richie:_ you don't remember last night? 

_Spaghetti:_ DON'T FUCKING FINISH THAT SENTENCE 

_Richie:_ fine fine 

_Richie:_ you always gotta take the fun out of everything :/ 

_Spaghetti:_ good 

_Spaghetti:_ you don't deserve fun 

_Richie:_ … 

_Spaghetti:_ don't you dare 

_Richie:_ … 

_Spaghetti:_ DON'T YOU DARE 

_Richie:_ that's not what you said last night 

_Spaghetti:_ GODDAMNIT RICHIE 

_Richie:_ ;) 

— 

**Beverly, Stan, Ben, Bill, Mike - Group Chat**

— 

_Beverly:_ THEY ARE LITERALLY P E R F E C T FOR EACH OTHER 

_Stan:_ THEY ARE 

_Bill:_ THEY ARE 

_Ben:_ THEY ARE 

_Mike:_ THEY ARE 

_Beverly:_ HOLD ON 

**Beverly changed the group chat name to R+E**

_Ben:_ THAT’S PERFECT 

_Bill:_ IT REALLY IS 

_Mike:_ Y E S

_Stan:_ YES 

_Beverly:_ I HAVE A NEW PURPOSE IN LIFE NOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER, I FUCKING CRIED LAUGHING WHILE MAKING IT AJSNJSSJJS. 
> 
> but anywayyyyyy, this is straight up crack and fluff because again, i’m over here trying to ignore my sad life at the moment:)) 
> 
> clearly the reddie is there and amazing. i really love them and Richie’s dirty jokes are GREAT. 
> 
> let me know what you think in the comments!! <3


	4. nicknames are key to every good friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY MAIN BITCH @browestanavengers ON INSTAGRAM AND @GlassNCrystal ON HERE. BUT GUESS WHAT?? IT'S HER BIRTHDAY AND I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. SHE DESERVES ALL THE HUGS AND ALL THE LOVE. THIS CHAPTER IS HER BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM ME CAUSE IT'S ALL I CAN REALLY GIVE HER SINCE SHE LIVES SO FAR AWAY:((( BUT!!!! I THINK SHE'LL LIKE THIS, SO IT'S OKAY. BUT YES. I LOVE YOU BB. HAVE THE BEST DAY AND DRINK ALL THE MONSTERS AND EAT ALL THE CAKE. YOU'RE AN ICON. ENJOY THIS CHAPTER OF CRACK DJFKAJDFKDJFD. <3333

**July 1st**

— 

**Richie, Spaghetti, Beverly, Ben, Bill, Mike, Stan - Group Chat**

—

**Richie sent a picture**

_Richie:_ LOOK AT MY CUTE FUCKING DOG 

_Beverly:_ OH MY GO D

_Ben:_ AWWW OMG 

_Bill:_ I NEED THAT DOG 

_Mike:_ WHAT A CUTIE 

_Mike:_ I NE E D 

_Stan:_ Cutie! 

_Spaghetti:_ FUCKING CUTE BABY 

_Spaghetti:_ GIVE ME 

_Richie:_ HE’S MINE SORRY 

_Richie:_ YOU CAN COME PET HIM AND PLAY WITH HIM THOUGH 

_Mike:_ I’LL BE R I G H T OVER 

_Beverly:_ GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS RIGHT NOW 

_Ben:_ BEVERLY LEMME COME WITH 

_Beverly:_ OF COURSE 

_Stan:_ I think I’ll come too 

_Richie:_ S T A N T H E M A N O M G 

_Stan:_ Nevermind 

_Richie:_ oh come on 

_Richie:_ it’s a good name 

_Stan:_ It’s absolutely not a good name 

_Stan:_ Almost worse than Spaghetti 

_Spaghetti:_ sorry but NOTHING is worse than Spaghetti 

_Richie:_ shut up 

_Richie:_ i don’t want to listen to this slander 

_Spaghetti:_ bite me 

_Richie:_ anywhere you want baby ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ goodBYE 

_Stan:_ Wow 

_Beverly:_ rt 

_Bill:_ rt 

_Ben:_ rt 

_Mike:_ rt 

_Spaghetti:_ shut the fuck up 

_Stan:_ Sure thing Spaghetti 

_Richie:_ Stan i love you for that 

_Stan:_ Tragic 

_Spaghetti:_ Stan i hate you for that 

_Stan:_ Tragic 

_Beverly:_ Stan being a bad bitch is clearing my skin 

_Bill:_ okay but same 

_Stan:_ <3 

_Richie:_ HE HEARTED BEVERLY AND BILL 

_Richie:_ STAN THE FUCKING MAN HEARTED BEVERLY AND BILL 

_Richie:_ I DIDN'T THINK HE KNEW WHAT A HEART WAS 

_Stan:_ I do know what a heart is 

_Stan:_ You just don't deserve my heart 

_Spaghetti:_ h e a r t e d 

_Richie:_ first off 

_Richie:_ fuck you Stan 

_Richie:_ second off 

_Richie:_ fuck you Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ aT lEaSt lEt mE bUy yOu dInNeR fIrsT 

_Richie:_ don't steal my line bitch 

_Spaghetti:_ watch me 

_Spaghetti:_ also 

_Spaghetti:_ don't fucking call me that 

_Richie:_ Eds

_Richie:_ Eds 

_Richie:_ Eds 

_Richie:_ Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ sTOP 

_Richie:_ top? 

_Spaghetti:_ n o 

_Richie:_ it's what you said 

_Richie:_ and it's true 

_Richie:_ i'm the top in this relationship

_Spaghetti:_ bitch 

_Spaghetti:_ there is NO relationship here 

_Richie:_ don't be a bitchy bottom Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ don't be a twaty top Rich 

_Richie:_ so you admit i'm the top?? 

_Spaghetti:_ fuCK 

_Spaghetti:_ I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT 

_Richie:_ SURE EDS SURE 

_Spaghetti:_ S H U T U P 

_Beverly:_ oh my fucking god 

_Beverly:_ can you guys stop being gay for one fucking second? 

_Stan:_ Eddie’s going to yell again 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU’RE RIGHT 

_Spaghetti:_ I AM 

_Spaghetti:_ BECAUSE WE AREN’T BEING GAY 

_Richie:_ i beg to differ 

_Spaghetti:_ shut uP YOU TRASHMOUTH BITCH 

_Richie:_ i have an idea 

_Spaghetti:_ please no 

**Richie changed their name to Trashmouth**

_Stan:_ Jesus Christ 

_Stan:_ I’m literally going to set myself aflame 

_Bill:_ SAME SAME SAME 

_Trashmouth:_ stop being salty just cause you don't have a great relationship like Eds and I 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate my life 

_Beverly:_ i can promise you that NONE of us are salty because we don't have a relationship like Eddie and you 

_Beverly:_ you two are fucking insane 

_Ben:_ it's true 

_Mike:_ it really is 

_Mike:_ y’all are fucked 

_Trashmouth:_ rude ass bitches 

_Spaghetti:_ Richie is the fucked one 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm normal 

_Stan:_ No one here is normal 

_Stan:_ Eddie and Richie are the most abnormal 

_Beverly:_ you speak the truth Stan the Man 

_Stan:_ Fuck off with that name 

_Beverly:_ it is a good name 

_Trashmouth:_ THANK YOU 

_Stan:_ No 

_Trashmouth:_ stop being a bitch 

_Stan:_ No 

_Trashmouth:_ don't make me beat your ass 

_Stan:_ Like you could 

_Stan:_ You're weak 

_Trashmouth:_ those are fighting words Stan the Man 

_Stan:_ Yes they are 

_Stan:_ Let's fucking go you bitch 

_Trashmouth:_ b it c h 

_Trashmouth:_ watch this 

**Trashmouth changed Stan’s name to Stan The Man**

_Stan The Man:_ I hate you so much you don't even know 

_Trashmouth:_ you don't though 

_Stan The Man:_ I do though 

_Stan The Man:_ Eddie's the only one who loves you 

_Spaghetti:_ WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS??

_Stan The Man:_ Because it's true 

_Spaghetti:_ NO???? 

_Stan The Man:_ Yes 

_Spaghetti:_ listen here Staniel >:( 

_Beverly:_ S T A N I E L 

_Bill:_ IM- 

_Trashmouth:_ EDS YOU'RE A GENIUS 

_Stan The Man:_ Please no 

_Mike:_ okay but Staniel

_Mike:_ the Maniel 

_Ben:_ OMG 

_Beverly:_ THAT IS AMAZING 

_Trashmouth:_ MY LIFE IS COMPLETE 

_Stan The Man:_ No 

_Stan The Man:_ Fucking stop 

_Trashmouth:_ i can’t 

_Stan The Man:_ Please Richie 

_Trashmouth:_ omg he said please 

_Beverly:_ if you won't do it then i will 

_Trashmouth:_ okay okay i will 

_Stan The Man:_ PLEASE RICHIE 

_Trashmouth:_ I’M SORRY STAN 

**Trashmouth changed Stan The Man's name to Staniel The Maniel**

_Staniel The Maniel:_ FUCK YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ AHAHAHA I’M SORRY 

_Beverly:_ WHSJSKSKDJDJ 

_Bill:_ I’M PISSING 

_Mike:_ GODDAMNIT I CAN'T BREATHE 

_Ben:_ KENDKDJDJD THIS IS THE BEST THING 

_Spaghetti:_ you understand the pain now Stan 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I do :/ 

_Trashmouth:_ oh you both LOVE it 

_Spaghetti:_ not true 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Definitely not true 

_Trashmouth:_ ಠ_ಠ

_Trashmouth:_ wait you ALL need nicknames now 

_Trashmouth:_ give me ideas 

_Beverly:_ i wanna be queen red 

_Trashmouth:_ shit okay 

**Trashmouth changed Beverly's name to Queen Red**

_Queen Red:_ fuck yeah 

_Queen Red:_ i'm a redhead btw 

_Queen Red:_ that's why it's red 

_Trashmouth:_ omg you're a redhead??? 

_Queen Red:_ yes sir 

_Trashmouth:_ CUTE 

_Queen Red:_ no YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ no YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ oh my fuck

_Spaghetti:_ shut up 

_Bill:_ interesting 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Interesting indeed 

_Spaghetti:_ what the fuck does that mean??

_Bill:_ nothing 

_Spaghetti:_ ??? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's nothing Eddie 

—

**Queen Red, Staniel The Maniel, Ben, Bill, Mike - R+E**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Eddie's fucking jealous 

_Queen Red:_ HE IS 

_Bill:_ LITERALLY

_Bill:_ HE'S NOT SUBTLE 

_Queen Red:_ NOT AT ALL 

_Mike:_ OKAY SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED IT 

_Mike:_ BLESS 

_Ben:_ i KNEW he was jealous 

_Queen Red:_ OH YEAH 

_Queen Red:_ VERY JEALOUS AND IT'S SO EASY TO SEE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yet Richie doesn't see it

_Queen Red:_ fucking literally 

_Mike:_ he's fucking blind 

_Bill:_ VERY blind 

_Ben:_ the blindest 

_Queen Red:_ i can't stand them 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Same 

— 

**Queen Red, Staniel The Maniel, Spaghetti, Trashmouth, Bill, Ben, Mike - Group Chat**

—

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Spaghetti:_ it's clearly something 

_Bill:_ it's really not

_Bill:_ i promise 

_Spaghetti:_ sigh 

_Spaghetti:_ okay 

_Trashmouth:_ both of you shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ my brain can't think of more nicknames with this useless background noise 

_Spaghetti:_ you're useless

_Trashmouth:_ you wound me Spaghetti Head 

_Spaghetti:_ omfg 

_Trashmouth:_ I HAVE AN IDEA 

_Trashmouth:_ Benny boy do you like history? 

_Ben:_ yes i do :) 

_Ben:_ why? 

_Trashmouth:_ your name is now Benjamin Franklin 

_Ben:_ omg okay 

**Trashmouth changed Ben's name to Benjamin Franklin**

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i love this 

_Queen Red:_ that’s adorable omg 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ <3 

_Queen Red:_ <3 

_Trashmouth:_ ah 

_Trashmouth:_ love is in the air 

_Queen Red:_ i’ll beat your ass 

_Trashmouth:_ do it 

_Trashmouth:_ i’m into that shit 

_Queen Red:_ figures 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If there was a time when Richie didn’t make a dirty joke

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I think I’d die 

_Queen Red:_ lmao same 

_Trashmouth:_ dirty jokes are my only talent 

_Spaghetti:_ that's just sad as fuck 

_Trashmouth:_ go away you GREMLIN 

_Spaghetti:_ did you just 

_Spaghetti:_ call me a 

_Spaghetti:_ g r e m l i n 

_Trashmouth:_ i did 

_Trashmouth:_ the fuck are you gunna do?? 

_Spaghetti:_ find you 

_Spaghetti:_ kill you 

_Spaghetti:_ then take your dog 

_Trashmouth:_ please don't take my dog 

_Spaghetti:_ you'll be dead so it doesn't matter 

_Trashmouth:_ please don't take my dog 

_Queen Red:_ yeah Eddie

_Queen Red:_ don't take his fucking dog 

_Spaghetti:_ i'll share him with you 

_Queen Red:_ wait omg 

_Trashmouth:_ Beverly no 

_Queen Red:_ Beverly yes 

_Queen Red:_ take the dog Eddie

_Trashmouth:_ betrayal 

_Queen Red:_ sorry babe 

_Trashmouth:_ you aren't

_Queen Red:_ you're right 

_Trashmouth:_ i thought we had something special 

_Queen Red:_ you thought wrong 

_Trashmouth:_ how darE you 

_Queen Red:_ just kidding 

_Queen Red:_ i love ya 

_Trashmouth:_ i love ya too 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're both ridiculous

_Trashmouth:_ thank you Stanny 

_Mike:_ i don't think that was a compliment Richie 

_Bill:_ i don't think it was either,,,

_Trashmouth:_ yes it was 

_Queen Red:_ yeah guys 

_Queen Red:_ it was a compliment

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I can promise you it wasn't 

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Trashmouth:_ i thought you loved me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I've told you many times that I don't love you 

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Bill:_ it’s okay Richie

_Bill:_ i love you 

_Trashmouth:_ thank you Billiam 

_Trashmouth:_ i love you too 

_Queen Red:_ b i l l i a m 

_Trashmouth:_ wa it 

**Trashmouth changed Bill's name to Billiam**

_Billiam:_ omg 

_Billiam:_ that's amazing 

_Billiam:_ let me make it better though

_Trashmouth:_ do as you please 

**Billiam changed their name to Big Billiam**

_Trashmouth:_ GENIUS 

_Big Billiam:_ HA THANK YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ you're my favorite Billiam 

_Big Billiam:_ <3

_Trashmouth:_ <3 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Staniel The Maniel, Mike, Big Billiam - R+E**

—

_Big Billiam:_ I’m sure Eddie's seething right now 

_Mike:_ lmao yeah he totally is 

_Queen Red:_ i can feel the seething 

_Queen Red:_ my spidey senses are tingling

_Big Billiam:_ ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ 

_Queen Red:_ they ARE 

_Mike:_ same though 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’m pretty sure he's seething hard enough that everyone’s spidey senses are tingling

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you aren't wrong 

_Queen Red:_ what a dumb gay 

_Big Billiam:_ HONESTLY 

_Queen Red:_ i’m going to text him privately

_Queen Red:_ hold on

_Benjamin Franklin:_ good luck 

—

**Queen Red, Spaghetti - Private Message**

—

_Queen Red:_ you good? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah

_Spaghetti:_ why? 

_Queen Red:_ you haven't texted in a little while 

_Spaghetti:_ oh right 

_Spaghetti:_ sorry 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ what's wrong? 

_Spaghetti:_ Beverly i'm fine 

_Queen Red:_ you seem upset

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not 

_Queen Red:_ can i ask you something? 

_Spaghetti:_ sure 

_Queen Red:_ don't get mad 

_Queen Red:_ it's just a genuine question

_Spaghetti:_ okay?? 

_Queen Red:_ are you jealous? 

_Spaghetti:_ of? 

_Queen Red:_ Richie's interactions with everyone else? 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ are you sure? 

_Spaghetti:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ like are you REALLY sure? 

_Spaghetti:_ yes Beverly 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm REALLY sure 

_Spaghetti:_ why would i even be jealous?

_Queen Red:_ cause you like him 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't though 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ Beverly 

_Queen Red:_ you can tell me if you do 

_Queen Red:_ i won't tell anyone

_Spaghetti:_ i don't like him 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm going to murder you 

_Queen Red:_ dude 

_Spaghetti:_ can we drop this conversation? 

_Queen Red:_ but 

_Spaghetti:_ please 

_Queen Red:_ okay 

_Queen Red:_ just know that i'm here if you need to talk about anything

_Queen Red:_ i know it's only been a few days that we've known each other 

_Queen Red:_ but you and the others are already important to me 

_Spaghetti:_ thanks Beverly 

_Spaghetti:_ it means a lot 

_Spaghetti:_ and me too

_Spaghetti:_ you guys are awesome 

_Spaghetti:_ and i'd listen to anything you guys have to say or rant about or anything 

_Queen Red:_ <33 

_Spaghetti:_ <33 

—

**Staniel The Maniel, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mike, Big Billiam - R+E**

—

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ thoughts? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He likes Richie but he doesn't want to admit it to you or anyone 

_Big Billiam:_ i think Stan's right 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i agree 

_Mike:_ i also agree 

_Queen Red:_ that's what i thought 

_Queen Red:_ just wanted to make sure you guys agreed 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The ‘can we drop this conversation’ says it all 

_Queen Red:_ it really does smh 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it does 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ also 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you're important to all of us too Beverly! 

_Queen Red:_ awe Ben <3 

_Big Billiam:_ he's right 

_Big Billiam:_ you guys make me laugh a lot and i feel really happy 

_Mike:_ me too 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ As much as it pains me to say this 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me too 

_Queen Red:_ even Richie? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ...Even Richie 

_Queen Red:_ AWEEE STANIEL 

_Mike:_ THAT'S CUTE STAN 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ THAT'S PURE 

_Big Billiam:_ STAN YOU'RE AN ADORABLE SOFTIE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You guys are the cute ones 

_Queen Red:_ A W E 

_Queen Red:_ WE LOVE YOU STAN

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I love you guys too 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Staniel The Maniel, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mike - Group Chat**

— 

_Trashmouth:_ now all that’s left is Mike 

_Mike:_ i live on a farm

_Mike:_ if that helps 

_Trashmouth:_ do you have cows? 

_Mike:_ yes 

_Mike:_ why? 

_Trashmouth:_ don’t ask questions

_Trashmouth:_ just watch

**Trashmouth changed Mike’s name to Mikey Moo**

_Mikey Moo:_ omfg 

_Trashmouth:_ beautiful isn’t it? 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ :) 

_Trashmouth:_ now that we’re all upgraded 

_Trashmouth:_ is Eddie dead??

_Spaghetti:_ unfortunately not 

_Trashmouth:_ mood 

_Trashmouth:_ but are you good Eds? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Spaghetti:_ and don't call me that >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up you like it 

_Spaghetti:_ i do not 

_Trashmouth:_ sure thing Eds my dear 

_Spaghetti:_ that's it 

_Spaghetti:_ your death is near bitch 

_Trashmouth:_ if you murder me

_Trashmouth:_ i'm okay with that 

_Trashmouth:_ who wouldn't wanna die looking at an angel?? 

_Spaghetti:_ GOODBYE 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Staniel The Maniel, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo - R+E**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh my fuck 

_Big Billiam:_ relatable 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ dsksjsk yeah,,, 

_Queen Red:_ ‘i don't like him’ 

_Queen Red:_ OKAY EDDIE 

_Queen Red:_ GOOD FUCKING JOKE 

_Mikey Moo:_ W H A T A D U M B G A Y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Re-fucking-tweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yee-fucking-haw. all i do is write this fic and neglect all my others. a real writer i am smh. okay, but like,,,this is fun and easy to write, so yeah. i'll update my fix it soon lmfao. 
> 
> EDDIE IS VERY JEALOUS BY THE WAY. HE JUST DOESN'T WANNA ADMIT THAT HE LIKES RICHIE BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING LOSER. AND THEY ALL KNOW IT. EXCEPT FOR RICHIE CAUSE HE'S ALSO A FUCKING LOSER. 
> 
> also,,,Bill calling Stan an adorable softie,,,,such gay
> 
> but anyyyfushfjasdfwhoo, leave a like or comment! tell me how much of a shitty job i'm doing with this fic lmaoooo.


	5. jealousy and face reveals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a partial traditional chapter, so have fun!!!<3

Eddie wasn't jealous. 

He really _wasn't_. There was no reason for him to be. It wasn't like he _liked_ Richie. Yes, Richie was funny — which Eddie would absolutely _never_ admit to him. It would go straight to his head — and he could be very sweet which was cute. But Eddie didn't _like_ him. Not like _that_. Richie was his _friend_ and his _friend only_. 

Beverly _clearly_ just read the situation wrong. 

The thing they did, the banter, that wasn't flirting as the others claimed it to be. It was just _banter_. Friends could banter. Look at Stan and Richie. They bantered all the time and they didn't like each other. 

Well...Maybe they _did_. How could Eddie know? 

At the thought, Eddie's stomach dropped. He didn't know why since it definitely _wasn't_ jealousy. He _didn't_ like Richie. They were _friends_. 

_If you're friends as you claim, why does that word leave a nasty taste in your mouth and leave your shoulders sagging with disappointment?_ His mind decided to say to him. _If you don't like him, why did you get all pissy when Richie was being affectionate and all that with the others?_

“Oh my God. Shut the fuck _up_.” He hissed at himself. 

He _wasn't_ jealous. He _didn't_ like Richie. They were _friends_ and that was _it_. 

Eddie rubbed his face with a sigh and pulled out a pair of earphones. Music always helped him deal with shit. It was his escape. He went into Spotify and put on his playlist which was mostly Hozier. The guy had a great voice and always calmed Eddie's mind down. 

Just as he did so, his phone buzzed with a message from the group chat. 

With another sigh, Eddie opened the chat. 

~ 

**July 2nd**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - Group Chat**

—

_Trashmouth:_ bitches 

_Trashmouth:_ we should do a face reveal 

_Queen Red:_ we should!1!1!1 

_Big Billiam:_ omg yes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’m the best looking 

_Queen Red:_ no

_Queen Red:_ i am 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm voting on Bev

_Queen Red:_ thanks bb <3 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm voting on Stan

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Thanks Bill <3 

_Trashmouth:_ gay 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck off 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ ooh i'm okay with a face reveal! 

_Queen Red:_ i can finally be proven right about Ben being cute as fuck 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg s t op

_Queen Red:_ never >:) 

_Trashmouth:_ everyone is really out here being in love 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel left out 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds my love 

_Trashmouth:_ where are you?? 

_Spaghetti:_ call me that again and i'll beat your fucking ass 

_Trashmouth:_ ah 

_Trashmouth:_ there you are 

_Trashmouth:_ a charmer as always 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate you 

_Trashmouth:_ is that any way to talk to your lover Eds? 

_Spaghetti:_ >:( shut the fuck up

_Trashmouth:_ cute 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m???? 

_Queen Red:_ shut up you dumb gays 

_Queen Red:_ and focus on the task 

_Queen Red:_ face reveal 

_Spaghetti:_ oh right 

_Spaghetti:_ sure 

_Spaghetti:_ but i don't wanna go first 

_Spaghetti:_ my self-esteem is non-existent

_Queen Red:_ SAME 

_Trashmouth:_ MOOD 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i'm sure you're all very good looking! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I agree with Ben 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Except for about Richie

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Mikey Moo:_ omg shut up 

_Mikey Moo:_ you're all going to be pretty 

_Spaghetti:_ you're so nice 

_Mikey Moo:_ you guys deserve it 

_Spaghetti:_ <3 

_Queen Red:_ awe Mike <3 

_Big Billiam:_ soft <3 

_Trashmouth:_ Mike's the only valid one here <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ Mike omg <3 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ This is the first time I'll ever agree with Richie

_Staniel The Maniel:_ But Mike is the only valid one here <3 

_Mikey Moo:_ y’all are adorable <3 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'll go first 

**Mikey Moo sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ YOU'RE ADORABLE 

_Big Billiam:_ YOU REALLY ARE 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YOU'RE CUTE!! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Aw you're adorable!! 

_Spaghetti:_ MIKE

_Spaghetti:_ HOW ARE YOU SO ADORABLE?? 

_Trashmouth:_ I CAN'T COMPARE TO THAT?? 

_Mikey Moo:_ OMG Y'ALL ARE TOO KIND 

_Queen Red:_ i'm going next 

_Queen Red:_ i have a surge of confidence

_Mikey Moo:_ yes Bev!! 

**Queen Red sent a picture**

_Trashmouth:_ MY ADORABLE REDHEAD SJDJDJD 

_Big Billiam:_ SO PRETTY OMG 

_Spaghetti:_ BITCH WHAT 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE LITERALLY SO PRETTY??? 

_Mikey Moo:_ BEAUTIFUL

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're so pretty! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ !!!! WHAT A PRETTY AND CUTE HUMAN !!!! 

_Queen Red:_ I COULD CRY

_Queen Red:_ I LOVE Y'ALL

_Queen Red:_ also i vote Billiam go next 

_Big Billiam:_ oh shit okay 

**Big Billiam sent a picture**

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Big Billiam:_ is that a good wow? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Absolutely 

_Big Billiam:_ :) 

_Trashmouth:_ first off 

_Trashmouth:_ that's gay 

_Trashmouth:_ second off 

_Trashmouth:_ BILL YOU'RE SO FUCKING PRETTY???? 

_Queen Red:_ YOU ARE INDEED SO FUCKING PRETTY 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YOU ARE!! 

_Mikey Moo:_ OMG YOU'RE SO ADORABLE

_Spaghetti:_ my self-esteem is now in the negatives

_Spaghetti:_ I'M SURROUNDED BY PRETTY PEOPLE EJDJDJD 

_Big Billiam:_ KDNDJD THANK YOU <33 

_Big Billiam:_ Ben you next 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ oh boy 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ okay 

**Benjamin Franklin sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ I FUCKING KNEW I T

_Queen Red:_ YOU'RE SO FUCKING CUTE BITCH

_Trashmouth:_ SHE'S RIGHT

_Trashmouth:_ AN ADORABLE CHILD 

_Spaghetti:_ CU T IE

_Big Billiam:_ YOU'RE SO SOF T

_Mikey Moo:_ HEADS UP EVERYONE

_Mikey Moo:_ THERE'S AN ADORABLE HUMAN IN THE CHAT

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're so cute omg!! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ IENDJDJD I LOVE ALL OF YOU <333 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ Stan it's your turn :) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shit 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's okay! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you got this! 

_Trashmouth:_ yes you do 

_Trashmouth:_ STAN 

_Trashmouth:_ STAN 

_Trashmouth:_ STAN 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Okay just shut up 

**Staniel The Maniel sent a picture**

_Trashmouth:_ STAN WTF 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU'RE FUCKING CUTE?? 

_Queen Red:_ WE'RE CURLY HAIR BUDDIES OMG 

_Queen Red:_ AND YOU'RE CUTE 

_Mikey Moo:_ AWE STAN YOU'RE SO CUTE

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE CUTE SJDJDJDJ 

_Spaghetti:_ STANIEL OMG 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE SO ADORABLE IM- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Thanks you guys <3

_Queen Red:_ <3 

_Queen Red:_ yo i think Bill died 

_Trashmouth:_ he really did 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm very much alive 

_Big Billiam:_ just 

_Big Billiam:_ not sure what to say 

_Big Billiam:_ in a good way though! 

_Trashmouth:_ Billiam 

_Trashmouth:_ that's gay 

_Big Billiam:_ HE'S REALLY PRETTY LEAVE ME ALONE 

_Trashmouth:_ ;) 

_Big Billiam:_ SHUT UP 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Well then 

_Big Billiam:_ i hope that wasn't weird ://

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Not at all 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’m just not used to people calling me pretty like that 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's nice

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Thank you Bill <3

_Big Billiam:_ no problem Stan <3 

— 

**Staniel The Maniel, Spaghetti - Private Message**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Eddie help 

_Spaghetti:_ are you okay? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Bill called me pretty

_Staniel The Maniel:_ How am I supposed to be okay after THAT?? 

_Spaghetti:_ JDNDNDJD STAN 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ SHUT UP 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I TRUST YOU NOT TO MAKE FUN OF ME ABOUT THIS 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M NOT MAKING FUN OF YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M JUST SURPRISED 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ THAT'S FAIR

_Staniel The Maniel:_ BUT EDDIE HE CALLED ME PRETTY??? 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU ARE THOUGH 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ BUT HE'S PRETTIER AND AND AND 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ HE CALLED M E PRETTY 

_Spaghetti:_ AWE STAN 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ WHAT DO I DO???

_Spaghetti:_ TALK TO HIM 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ FUCK NO 

_Spaghetti:_ IEJDJDJDJD 

_Spaghetti:_ OKAY THEN

_Spaghetti:_ FLIRT WITH HIM AND SEE IF HE FLIRTS BACK 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ SHIT OKAY

_Staniel The Maniel:_ THANK YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE WELCOME 

_Spaghetti:_ YELL TO ME WHENEVER YOU NEED 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT OFFER 

_Spaghetti:_ LMFAO ALRIGHTY 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Staniel The Maniel, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo, Big Billiam - Group Chat**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Eddie go next 

_Spaghetti:_ please not me 

_Spaghetti:_ make Richie go first

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Nope 

_Spaghetti:_ sigh 

_Spaghetti:_ here we go 

_Trashmouth:_ ooh i'm excited :) 

_Spaghetti:_ shut up you fuck 

_Trashmouth:_ just send the picture Spaghetti Man 

_Spaghetti:_ s i g h 

**Spaghetti sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ ONFKDNDKDNDKDJ 

_Queen Red:_ YOU'RE SO FUCKING CUTE I CAN'T 

_Big Billiam:_ OMG EDDIE YOU B E AN 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YOU'RE!!! ADORABLE!!! 

_Mikey Moo:_ SJDJDJDJDJ CUTEEE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're so cute Eddie! 

_Spaghetti:_ JSJSJS THANK YOU??? 

_Queen Red:_ CAN I ADOPT YOU?? 

_Spaghetti:_ YES PLEASE 

_Queen Red:_ Y E S 

_Big Billiam:_ you killed Richie 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I think you literally did 

_Trashmouth:_ i 

_Trashmouth:_ i 

_Queen Red:_ he's alive

_Queen Red:_ just broken 

_Spaghetti:_ are you okay Richie?? 

_Trashmouth:_ i 

_Trashmouth:_ i 

_Trashmouth:_ i 

_Trashmouth:_ i have 

_Trashmouth:_ no words 

_Spaghetti:_ oh? 

_Trashmouth:_ hoW 

_Spaghetti:_ ??? 

_Trashmouth:_ HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING HOT??? 

_Trashmouth:_ I'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH A PIECE OF ACTUAL ART 

_Queen Red:_ i'm- 

_Trashmouth:_ SHUT THE FUCK UP BEVERLY 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M HAVING THE BIGGEST GAY CRISIS EVER 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Trashmouth:_ SHUT U P 

_Trashmouth:_ HE'S FUCKING H O T

_Trashmouth:_ I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE 

_Mikey Moo:_ jesus christ 

_Mikey Moo:_ calm down 

_Trashmouth:_ H O W ?????? 

_Trashmouth:_ THERE'S AN ANGEL WITH US 

_Big Billiam:_ Richie omg

_Trashmouth:_ I'M GOING TO HAVE MY CRISIS IN PEACE 

_Trashmouth:_ GOODBYE

_Queen Red:_ well then 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie are you alive?? 

_Spaghetti:_ i need a moment 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Dear God 

— 

**Staniel The Maniel, Spaghetti - Private Message**

—

_Spaghetti:_ did he really just say all of that to me ?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He did 

_Spaghetti:_ w

_Spaghetti:_ what??? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You should date him 

_Spaghetti:_ S T A N 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ E D D I E 

_Spaghetti:_ NEVER SUGGEST THAT AGAIN 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ BUT YOU SHOULD DATE HIM

_Spaghetti:_ NO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ WHY? 

_Spaghetti:_ I DON'T LIKE HIM 

_Spaghetti:_ HE'S JUST A FRIEND

_Staniel The Maniel:_ IF THAT'S THE CASE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ WHY DID YOU PANIC TEXT ME? 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M TRYING TO DENY MY FEELINGS 

_Spaghetti:_ AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME DENY THEM

_Staniel The Maniel:_ YOU'RE AN IDIOT

_Spaghetti:_ I KN OW

_Spaghetti:_ that's it 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm killing myself 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Please don't 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just talk to him and deal with your feelings

_Spaghetti:_ THAT'S HORRIBLE ADVICE 

_Spaghetti:_ oh wait 

_Spaghetti:_ that was my advice 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m fucking stupid 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just a little 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Flirt with him and see if he flirts back

_Spaghetti:_ i mean 

_Spaghetti:_ that's not my worst advice

_Spaghetti:_ i could do that 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You could 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's what I'm doing 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck okay 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We can be sad gays together if all fails 

_Spaghetti:_ yes we can 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Staniel The Maniel, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo, Big Billiam - Group Chat**

— 

_Spaghetti:_ okay asshole your turn 

_Trashmouth:_ still having a crisis 

_Trashmouth:_ i can't function just yet

_Big Billiam:_ i like how he answers to ‘asshole’ 

_Queen Red:_ HA 

_Trashmouth:_ i'll have you know if anyone else besides Eds called me an asshole i wouldn't have answered 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow Richie 

_Trashmouth:_ it's true 

_Spaghetti:_ i- 

_Mikey Moo:_ i can't even with y'all 

_Trashmouth:_ (ง'̀-'́)ง 

_Big Billiam:_ omg just send a picture Richie

_Trashmouth:_ but i'm not as pretty as any of you 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ shut up! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you are! 

_Trashmouth:_ thanks Ben sjdjdjdj 

_Trashmouth:_ okay,,,let's do this 

**Trashmouth sent a picture**

_Spaghetti:_ is that,,,

_Spaghetti:_ is that actually you?? 

_Trashmouth:_ yes,,, 

_Trashmouth:_ is it bad?? 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck no 

_Trashmouth:_ oh?

_Spaghetti:_ that's not fair?? 

_Spaghetti:_ you're so fucking attractive?? 

_Trashmouth:_ o h ? 

_Queen Red:_ STOP BEING GAY OMG 

_Queen Red:_ LEMME YELL ABOUT HOW FUCKING PRETTY RICHIE IS 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You don't look like what I expected 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You aren't ugly 

_Mikey Moo:_ YOU'RE SO PRETTY 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YOU'RE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! 

_Big Billiam:_ RICHIE OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD 

_Trashmouth:_ IDBDJJ THANKS GUYS 

_Trashmouth:_ I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW 

_Queen Red:_ WE'RE ONE GOOD LOOKING GROUP OF 18 YEAR OLD LOSERS 

_Big Billiam:_ HELL YEAH WE ARE 

_Mikey Moo:_ FUCK YEAH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YEAH! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yeah 

_Trashmouth:_ have a little spirit Stanley 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Go bother someone else Richard 

_Trashmouth:_ bitch 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Bitch 

_Queen Red:_ i hate you two sometimes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I hate Richie more than you hate both of us 

_Queen Red:_ you really do 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm hurt 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good 

_Trashmouth:_ (ಥ﹏ಥ)

_Trashmouth:_ wait 

**Trashmouth changed the chat name to The Good Looking Losers**

_Queen Red:_ that's amazing omg 

_Big Billiam:_ it really is 

_Trashmouth:_ i know i'm a god 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You aren't 

_Trashmouth:_ you're mean

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I try 

~ 

Eddie was one hundred percent jealous. 

He had tried to deny it because denying it was easier than dealing with it. But denying it didn't help any. Denying it didn't stop his stomach from dropping or his heart from twisting painfully every time Richie said a compliment towards the others. Denying it didn't stop him from wanting to throw his phone every time Stan and Richie did their banter thing. 

It was so fucking stupid to be jealous. He knew it was. 

The compliments were just there to support each other with their looks. The banter with Stan was just friendship. 

Well, it was just friendship on Stan's side. Stan liked Bill, so he obviously didn't like Richie. But Richie could like Stan. It could be anything _but_ friendship for Richie. 

Eddie hated that possibility. He hated it more than he should. 

Okay, but Richie complimented Eddie too. He called Eddie _hot_ and claimed to be having a _gay crisis_. So maybe there was a little bit of hope for Eddie. 

Just the thought brought a smile to Eddie's face and made a blush spread across his cheeks. 

But then again, Richie called everyone else pretty and all that. Maybe he just said the _gay crisis_ thing because he liked to make jokes like that to Eddie. He made dirty jokes to Eddie all the time and didn't mean them. Why would this be any different? 

The smile disappeared quickly from his face. 

He really hated his life sometimes. He really hated _himself_ sometimes. He always had to go and get crushes on people who'd never like him back. 

“You really deserve the idiot award, Kaspbrak.” He said quietly to himself as he flopped back against his bed. 

His phone buzzed just as he did so. 

He knew it was Beverly before he even looked at his phone. And he knew exactly what it said before even looking at his phone. 

She was asking him if he was okay since he hadn't said anything in the chat in a little while. 

~ 

—

**Queen Red, Spaghetti - Private Message**

—

_Queen Red:_ are you okay? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Queen Red:_ stop lying

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not 

_Queen Red:_ uh huh 

_Spaghetti:_ Beverly come on 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie YOU come on 

_Spaghetti:_ fine 

_Spaghetti:_ maybe i'm a little upset

_Queen Red:_ because of ? 

_Spaghetti:_ i think you know

_Queen Red:_ you're jealous ? of Richie's interactions with the others ? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Queen Red:_ so you like him ? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Queen Red:_ did you lie to me when i asked last time ? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Spaghetti:_ i was trying to deny it 

_Spaghetti:_ but then i kinda just gave up denying it because it didn't do anything to help me with my feelings

_Queen Red:_ it's okay to like him you know 

_Spaghetti:_ i know 

_Spaghetti:_ i just never have luck with crushes 

_Queen Red:_ i have a good feeling about this one 

_Spaghetti:_ i dunno,,,

_Queen Red:_ it's okay 

_Queen Red:_ i can carry the good feeling about this for the both of us until you start feeling it too 

_Spaghetti:_ thank you Bev

_Queen Red:_ of course <3

_Spaghetti:_ <3 

~ 

Maybe Eddie had a chance after all. If Beverly thought so then he figured he had a pretty good shot. 

But he wasn't going to get ahead of himself. He'd take things slow. He still needed to fully accept his feelings and all that. 

After he managed to accept his feelings fully, he'd figure out what to do from there with Beverly and Stan there to support him. 

It felt good to have people supporting him. He usually didn't have much of that. 

Friends were always something Eddie lacked. That was his mother's fault, much like most of Eddie's other issues were. She sheltered him his whole life and convinced him that he was sick. She made sure he never went to play with other kids where there was anything that could hurt him — which was everywhere. “The world's a dangerous place, Eddie-Bear.” — so the kids stopped asking him to do things and eventually, he just gave up on making friends. 

His mother didn't support him on anything. She was always telling him how he needed to change because if he wanted a girlfriend, he wouldn't get one with how he was now. He hadn't tried to tell her that he didn't want a _girlfriend_ because he knew she'd flip her lid. She was an _extremely_ homophobic person and he really didn't need to be disowned by his mother right now. 

So needless to say, Eddie wasn't used to support and he really, _really_ liked having it. It made that _‘the world is on resting on my shoulders’_ feeling easier to deal with. It was _nice_. 

He wanted to say thank you to Richie for making the chat. That chat has been the highlight of his day ever since he was added to it. They all make him laugh and smile and actually _enjoy_ life. He hadn't ever been _this_ happy before and he liked it. He liked it _a lot_. 

He was never going to let his new friends go. And that was the one thing he was glad to be sure of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't you just love Eddie being a jealous little shit cause i sure do lmaoo. 
> 
> okay, but like,,,Stan and Bill are in LOVE and it's AMAZING. So are Richie and Eddie fjdksjfad. i appreciate them.
> 
> i'll add more Benverly soon, i swear. i'm just so hyper-fixed on Reddie and Stenbrough right now. mostly Reddie lmao. THEY'RE CUTE, LEAVE ME ALONE. 
> 
> I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO MEET IN PERSON OMGDSJGKLJKFJD. 
> 
> anywayy,,,please leave a like or comment and tell me what you think!<33


	6. the k word

**July 3rd**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Queen Red:_ i need to ask a SERIOUS question

_Queen Red:_ what's the name of your dog Richie?? 

_Trashmouth:_ IDBDJDJE 

_Trashmouth:_ it's Rocky

_Queen Red:_ THAT'S PURE 

_Queen Red:_ I LOVE HIM 

_Queen Red:_ I WANNA MEET HIM

_Trashmouth:_ I'M STILL WAITING FOR YOU ALL TO COME OVER TO MEET HIM 

_Mikey Moo:_ I'M STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS

_Trashmouth:_ OH SHIT YEAH

_Trashmouth:_ FUNNY STORY,,,

_Trashmouth:_ I DON'T REALLY KNOW MY ADDRESS

_Trashmouth:_ ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LIVE IN DERRY MAINE AND MY HOUSE IS BROWN 

_Big Billiam:_ you live in Derry??? 

_Trashmouth:_ unfortunately so

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You mean to tell me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That I live in the same fucking town as Richie???

_Big Billiam:_ you live in Derry too???? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I want to move though 

_Big Billiam:_ i live in Derry too 

_Trashmouth:_ OMG WE'RE ALL BUDDIES 

_Trashmouth:_ COME VISIT ME!!! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Absolutely not 

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Queen Red:_ i live in Derry too omg 

_Mikey Moo:_ me too ! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ do we all live in Derry? 

_Spaghetti:_ fucking unfortunately

_Spaghetti:_ i've never hated a place more 

_Trashmouth:_ SAMESAMESAME

_Queen Red:_ #relatable 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It really is the worst

_Mikey Moo:_ true 

_Mikey Moo:_ but we could totally hang out in person 

_Mikey Moo:_ so it's not THAT bad 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i agree with Mike ! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We could

_Staniel The Maniel:_ But I don't want to hang out with Richie

_Trashmouth:_ WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You existed

_Trashmouth:_ YOU BITCH 

_Queen Red:_ imagine seeing Stan and Richie fight like this in person

_Big Billiam:_ that'd be something lmfao

_Mikey Moo:_ correction

_Mikey Moo:_ imagine seeing Eddie and Richie fight in person

_Queen Red:_ you mean flirt? 

_Spaghetti:_ gOODBYE 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ no offense but i don't think i could handle them flirting in person

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i can't even handle them flirting through texts 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me fucking too Ben

_Queen Red:_ M E T O O 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck off 

_Trashmouth:_ bold of you to assume i'd waste time fighting with words

_Queen Red:_ flirting** 

_Spaghetti:_ STOP 

_Spaghetti:_ also 

_Spaghetti:_ what does that even mean Richie?? 

_Trashmouth:_ if i saw you in person

_Trashmouth:_ i would just kiss you

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh my FUCK 

_Mikey Moo:_ RICHIE- 

_Queen Red:_ I CAN'T- 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ oH- 

_Big Billiam:_ I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT??? 

_Spaghetti:_ w

_Spaghetti:_ wh 

_Spaghetti:_ wha 

_Spaghetti:_ what 

_Trashmouth:_ OH MY GODNSJSNJDDJ

_Trashmouth:_ THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

_Trashmouth:_ I MEANT KICK

_Trashmouth:_ MY PHONE PISSED AND CHANGED IT 

_Spaghetti:_ i- 

_Trashmouth:_ I S W E A R I DIDN'T MEAN THAT 

_Queen Red:_ THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS 

_Trashmouth:_ S H U T U P 

_Trashmouth:_ IT WASN'T MY FAULT

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Somehow I doubt that 

_Trashmouth:_ FUCK YOU STAN

_Trashmouth:_ AUTOCORRECT HATES ME 

_Mikey Moo:_ I'M WHEEZING

_Trashmouth:_ I HATE ALL OF YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ except for Ben of course

_Big Billiam:_ and Eddie apparently

_Big Billiam:_ since you want to k i s s him when you see him 

_Trashmouth:_ SHUT THE FUCK UP BIG BITCH BILLIAM 

_Big Billiam:_ HAHA 

— 

**Trashmouth, Queen Red - Private Message**

—

_Queen Red:_ did you actually mean kick?? 

_Trashmouth:_ i actually did

_Queen Red:_ hmmm 

_Trashmouth:_ w h a t

_Queen Red:_ you sure you don't wanna kiss him? 

_Trashmouth:_ hey now 

_Trashmouth:_ i never said i didn't wanna kiss him 

_Trashmouth:_ i said that i meant kick for that message

_Trashmouth:_ that's it 

_Trashmouth:_ i'd kiss the fuck out of him if i had the chance 

_Queen Red:_ I KNEW IT 

_Trashmouth:_ JSJSJDJ BEVERLY 

_Queen Red:_ okay but 

_Queen Red:_ tell him that 

_Trashmouth:_ no?? 

_Queen Red:_ why not? 

_Trashmouth:_ he's very much out of my league

_Queen Red:_ i will beat your ass 

_Trashmouth:_ it's true 

_Queen Red:_ nope 

_Trashmouth:_ yup 

_Queen Red:_ nope 

_Trashmouth:_ yup 

_Queen Red:_ fuck off and ask him out

_Trashmouth:_ maybe 

_Trashmouth:_ lemme talk to him more 

_Trashmouth:_ i gotta feel the situation out 

_Queen Red:_ JSJDJDJDJJ

_Queen Red:_ OK AY

_Trashmouth:_ jesus chriST 

_Trashmouth:_ calm doWN 

_Queen Red:_ NO 

_Queen Red:_ I SHIP YOU TWO SO HARD 

_Trashmouth:_ SKJDKDKDKDK

_Trashmouth:_ wait 

_Trashmouth:_ it's me

_Trashmouth:_ that's why you wouldn't tell me who you shipped him with

_Trashmouth:_ isn't it ? 

_Queen Red:_ precisely 

_Trashmouth:_ oH SHIT 

_Queen Red:_ hA 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - R+E**

—

_Queen Red:_ RICHIE JUST TOLD ME THAT HE'D KISS EDDIE IF HE COULD 

_Queen Red:_ AND HE SAID HE'D MAYBE ASK EDDIE OUT 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ DID HE ACTUALLY?? 

_Queen Red:_ HE DI D

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I KNEW THAT BITCH WANTED TO KISS HIM 

_Big Billiam:_ AJDNJJSJ STAN OMG

_Mikey Moo:_ SCREENSHOT AND SEND US THE CONVERSATION 

_Queen Red:_ OH SHIT I FORGOT I COULD DO THAT

_Queen Red:_ HOLD ON

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

**Queen Red sent a picture**

_Staniel The Maniel:_ THAT FUCKING GAY ASS BITCH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ STANSJSJSJSJSJ

_Queen Red:_ I JUST CHOKED 

_Big Billiam:_ WSHJSJSJD 

_Mikey Moo:_ LMFAOOO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'M NOT WRONG

_Big Billiam:_ YOU REALLY AREN'T

_Queen Red:_ STAN I LITERALLY LOVE YOU 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

— 

_Queen Red:_ “That fucking gay ass bitch” - Staniel

_Trashmouth:_ why do i have a feeling that's a shot at me ? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Because it is 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel so attacked 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ also Eddie died 

_Big Billiam:_ kiss him back to life Richie 

_Trashmouth:_ ST OP 

_Big Billiam:_ you know you want to 

_Trashmouth:_ I DON'T 

_Spaghetti:_ STOP WITH THE K WORD PLEASE 

_Trashmouth:_ HE'S ALIVE 

_Queen Red:_ the k word? 

_Spaghetti:_ Beverly don't do this 

_Queen Red:_ did you mean,,,

_Spaghetti:_ Beverly please 

_Queen Red:_ k i s s ? 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm leavinG 

_Mikey Moo:_ kiss Richie before you go 

_Spaghetti:_ NO 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I LOVE YOU GUYS OMG 

_Trashmouth:_ AWE WE LOVE YOU TOO BENNY BOY 

_Queen Red:_ WE DO 

_Spaghetti:_ THAT'S TRUE 

_Big Billiam:_ YES 

_Mikey Moo:_ TRUTH

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It is very much true 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ :) 

_Queen Red:_ okay but back on topic of all of us living in Derry 

_Queen Red:_ we really should get together at some point this summer 

_Trashmouth:_ yes we should 

_Spaghetti:_ we should video chat first

_Spaghetti:_ just so we have a feel for it 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds you're so smart 

_Big Billiam:_ maybe you should,,,

_Trashmouth:_ Bill don't make me beat you

_Big Billiam:_ KISS him as a reward for his smartness 

_Trashmouth:_ i take it back 

_Trashmouth:_ i refuse to meet any of you if this is how i'll be treated >:( 

_Mikey Moo:_ shut up you idiots 

_Mikey Moo:_ and focus

_Mikey Moo:_ we should video chat saturday 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ we should!! 

_Queen Red:_ hell yeah! 

_Trashmouth:_ y e s

_Spaghetti:_ yeS

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Okay :) 

_Big Billiam:_ okay! 

_Big Billiam:_ you may or may not have to meet my little brother

_Big Billiam:_ he hangs out with me a lot 

_Queen Red:_ WHAT'S HIS NAME ???

_Big Billiam:_ Georgie 

_Queen Red:_ A W E E E

_Big Billiam:_ he's 11 lmao 

_Queen Red:_ A BABY 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Aww that's cute that you guys hang out 

_Big Billiam:_ :) thanks 

_Big Billiam:_ i try to be a good brother

_Trashmouth:_ wait 

_Trashmouth:_ can i steal him? 

_Trashmouth:_ i want a little brother 

_Spaghetti:_ you shouldn't be trusted around children 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I second that statement 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck off you asshats 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Kiss Eddie as punishment 

_Trashmouth:_ PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD S T O P 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You started this 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Learn to control yourself 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Then I'll stop 

_Trashmouth:_ i will slaughter you Staniel 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You fucking won't

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Pathetic gay 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU'RE A PATHETIC GAY

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’m in the non-pathetic gay category

_Trashmouth:_ i hate you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Right back at you

_Queen Red:_ if you guys act this way when we video chat

_Queen Red:_ i will kill myself 

_Mikey Moo:_ S A M E

_Mikey Moo:_ y'all are annoying when you do this >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ let me and Stanny live our lives 

_Mikey Moo:_ no 

_Trashmouth:_ that's fair 

_Trashmouth:_ okay but i'll try to behave when we video chat 

_Queen Red:_ thank you 

_Trashmouth:_ WAI T

_Trashmouth:_ WHEN WE VIDEO CHAT 

_Trashmouth:_ IT'LL BE A WEEK SINCE WE MET 

_Queen Red:_ YOU'RE RIGHT 

_Queen Red:_ WE CAN CELEBRATE OUR ONE WEEK ANNIVERSARY 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ OMG YES

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i really can't believe it's almost been a week lmao 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it kinda seems like it has been longer

_Big Billiam:_ you're so right

_Big Billiam:_ i feel like i've known you guys for a longer time than a week

_Big Billiam:_ we all get along so well

_Queen Red:_ we really do 

_Spaghetti:_ we DO 

_Mikey Moo:_ this is cheesy 

_Mikey Moo:_ but like 

_Mikey Moo:_ i think we were meant to be friends

_Queen Red:_ awe omg 

_Queen Red:_ that's not cheesy! 

_Queen Red:_ and i think that too :)

_Big Billiam:_ i think that too !!!

_Benjamin Franklin:_ me too! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I think that too

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Except for about Richie

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I hate associating with him 

_Trashmouth:_ you love me deep down

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Trashmouth:_ you do

_Staniel The Maniel:_ N o 

_Trashmouth:_ >:( 

_Queen Red:_ he does 

_Queen Red:_ i have proof

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Beverly don't do this 

_Queen Red:_ it has to be done 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It really doesn't

_Queen Red:_ it does 

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry 

**Queen Red sent a picture**

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck you >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ STANIEL 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU L O V E ME

_Trashmouth:_ I KNEW IT 

_Spaghetti:_ Staniel has been e x p o s e d

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I hate my life 

_Trashmouth:_ oh hush 

_Trashmouth:_ you love us 

_Trashmouth:_ me the most 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That is false 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I love you but definitely not the most 

_Trashmouth:_ who do you love the most? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ None of your business

_Trashmouth:_ it's Beverly or Bill or Ben

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Not telling you

_Trashmouth:_ it's Bill

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Still not telling you

_Trashmouth:_ it's okay 

_Trashmouth:_ i know it's Bill 

_Queen Red:_ and you love Eddie the most Richie

_Trashmouth:_ i will not confirm or deny this 

_Big Billiam:_ fucking wow 

_Mikey Moo:_ oh my god 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It is Eddie 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You want to kiss him 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ So,,,

_Trashmouth:_ DU DE

_Trashmouth:_ I FUCKING MEANT KISS

_Trashmouth:_ WAIT FUCK

_Staniel The Maniel:_ See what I mean

_Trashmouth:_ MY PHONE AUTOCORRECTED AGAIN

_Big Billiam:_ excuses excuses

_Trashmouth:_ BI TCH

_Spaghetti:_ what the fuck 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Richie still wants to kiss you

_Trashmouth:_ NO I DON'T

_Spaghetti:_ STOP

_Spaghetti:_ WITH 

_Spaghetti:_ THE 

_Spaghetti:_ K 

_Spaghetti:_ WORD 

_Spaghetti:_ PLEASE 

_Big Billiam:_ you don't wanna kiss Richie back?? 

_Spaghetti:_ NO 

_Queen Red:_ hmmm 

_Queen Red:_ last time i checked,,,

_Spaghetti:_ BEVERLY DO NOT 

_Trashmouth:_ Beverly please do

_Trashmouth:_ i'm intrigued

_Spaghetti:_ fuck off you blind bat 

_Trashmouth:_ EXCUSE ME 

_Spaghetti:_ you heard me bitch 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M INSULTED

_Spaghetti:_ good

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ no offense

_Benjamin Franklin:_ but you're crackheads

_Mikey Moo:_ y'all really are

_Queen Red:_ you love us 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it is true 

_Mikey Moo:_ unfortunately so 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up Micycle 

_Spaghetti:_ MICYCLE 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ ISJDJDJDJ WOW

_Queen Red:_ sometimes Richie is actually funny

_Trashmouth:_ i'm funny all the time 

_Spaghetti:_ eh 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up or i'll 

_Spaghetti:_ you'll what? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ he'll kiss you

_Spaghetti:_ SKJDKRJDKD GOODB YE

_Trashmouth:_ NOT YOU TOO BEN

_Queen Red:_ BEN YOU'RE THE BEST 

_Mikey Moo:_ AHAHAHA BEN

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ben you're an icon

_Big Billiam:_ EJDJDJDJDJ BEN I LOVE YOU

_Big Billiam:_ THAT MADE MY DAY

_Trashmouth:_ ALL OF YOU WILL BE SLAUGHTERED TONIGHT BY ME

_Trashmouth:_ and i swear to fucking god 

_Trashmouth:_ if any of you turn this into a k word joke 

_Trashmouth:_ i will slaughter you in the most painful way 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ “k word” 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You and Eddie are cowards 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S TRUE 

_Spaghetti:_ FUCK YOU 

_Queen Red:_ say that to Richie 

_Spaghetti:_ oh 

_Spaghetti:_ my 

_Spaghetti:_ GOD 

_Mikey Moo:_ let them take things slow Bev

_Mikey Moo:_ kissing is a great first step

_Queen Red:_ you're right

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry 

_Trashmouth:_ i have never regretted making friends more in my life 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Apparently you don't regret becoming friends with Eddie

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh wait 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Can I even call you two friends? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Friends usually don't kiss each other

_Big Billiam:_ ST AN WIJDJDJDJD

_Benjamin Franklin:_ STAN YOU'RE AN I C O N 

_Queen Red:_ W H E E E E Z E 

_Mikey Moo:_ I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING

_Mikey Moo:_ BUT I CAN'T BREATHE

_Trashmouth:_ i haTE YOU ALL 

_Spaghetti:_ mE TOO

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Only pathetic gays hate people

_Trashmouth:_ YOU CLAIM TO HATE ME ALL THE TIME???? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ i'm the only exception 

_Trashmouth:_ ????? WHY ?????

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Because I’m a gift from the gods 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Which gives me the right to do what I want 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ he is a gift from the gods 

_Queen Red:_ rt

_Big Billiam:_ rt 

_Mikey Moo:_ rt 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ :) 

_Trashmouth:_ this is favoritism

_Big Billiam:_ go cry to Eddie 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm sure he's more than willing to comfort you

_Queen Red:_ with his lips 

_Big Billiam:_ with his lips

_Big Billiam:_ OMG 

_Big Billiam:_ WE'RE CONNECTED BEVERLY

_Queen Red:_ W E A R E O M G

_Trashmouth:_ that's it

_Trashmouth:_ i'm leaving 

_Trashmouth:_ you have officially driven me away 

_Spaghetti:_ wait let me leave with you

_Spaghetti:_ i don't like being attacked like this 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Look 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ They're leaving together

_Mikey Moo:_ i bet they're going to kiss somewhere

_Spaghetti:_ S T O P 

_Trashmouth:_ PL EASE

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Maybe you need to stop being dumb gays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_Queen Red:_ H A

_Spaghetti:_ i'm- 

_Trashmouth:_ wh- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i laughed so hard when making this chapter and i think that says a lot about me lmfao. 
> 
> Staniel is a bad bitch and that's just a FACT. and Bill is in love. okay, but we'll get more Stenbrough soon, i promise. they deserve more appreciation and love. i will give them that. 
> 
> anywayyyy. please leave a like or comment and let me know how you're liking everything!! <33 thanks for reading:)


	7. video chat part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's short, so sorry for that:( i just wanted to get you guys a chapter before i dedicate my life to my fix it for the next few days. 
> 
> i hope you like this!

**July 4th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

— 

_Trashmouth:_ HAPPY ONE WEEK FUCKERS 

_Trashmouth:_ ALSO HAPPY VIDEO CHAT DAY 

_Trashmouth:_ ALSO ALSO HAPPY JULY 4TH

_Queen Red:_ TODAY IS SUCH A GOOD DAY

_Mikey Moo:_ IT IS OMG 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ IT'S THE BEST DAY 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It would be if I didn't have to hear Richie speak

_Trashmouth:_ shut up

_Trashmouth:_ i sound sexy as fuck

_Spaghetti:_ i bet you have a high pitched voice

_Trashmouth:_ if anyone here has a high pitched voice 

_Trashmouth:_ it's you 

_Spaghetti:_ ha ha 

_Spaghetti:_ you're SO funny 

_Trashmouth:_ i know :) 

**Spaghetti sent a picture**

_Trashmouth:_ don't flip me off :( 

_Spaghetti:_ don't tell me what to do 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If this is how the video chat is going to go

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Then I'm out 

_Big Billiam:_ oh same 

_Queen Red:_ let them be gay in peace 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ okay fair 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ what do you all have against romance?

_Benjamin Franklin:_ just let them be in love >:(

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel powerful with Ben on my side 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate all of you

_Queen Red:_ not ALL of us ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ shut UP 

_Trashmouth:_ oh?? 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck off 

_Trashmouth:_ sometimes i wonder why i settle for this abusive relationship 

_Spaghetti:_ sometimes i wonder why you never shut the fuck up 

_Trashmouth:_ that's it 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm breaking up with you Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ WE AREN'T EVEN DATING??? 

_Trashmouth:_ you're right

_Trashmouth:_ i just broke up with you 

_Spaghetti:_ WE WEREN'T DATING BEFORE SO HOW COULD YOU EVEN DO THAT?? 

_Trashmouth:_ oh look

_Trashmouth:_ he’s pretending like we never dated just so he can act like i didn't break up with him 

_Spaghetti:_ i will end you if you don't shut your fucking mouth

_Trashmouth:_ i'm texting so,,,

_Trashmouth:_ technically my mouth is shut 

_Spaghetti:_ fuCK OFF

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - R+E**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Imagine being like That when you're fighting with your boyfriend 

_Queen Red:_ i FEEL that 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ y e a h 

_Mikey Moo:_ whenever Stan texts this chat

_Mikey Moo:_ i always end up crying laughing 

_Big Billiam:_ okay but same

_Big Billiam:_ he's amazing

_Staniel The Maniel:_ :) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ So are you

_Big Billiam:_ :) 

— 

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo - Group Chat**

— 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ are you getting strong StanBill vibes or am i crazy?? 

_Queen Red:_ YOU AREN'T CRAZY

_Queen Red:_ I'M GETTING THOSE VIBES TOO

_Mikey Moo:_ SA ME 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ OH THANK GOD 

_Queen Red:_ I WAS GETTING THOSE VIBES WHEN WE DID THE FACE REVEAL TOO

_Benjamin Franklin:_ ME T O O 

_Mikey Moo:_ WHO WASN'T

_Queen Red:_ GOOD POINT MIKE 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ OKAY BUT

_Benjamin Franklin:_ THEY MAKE FUN OF RICHIE AND EDDIE 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ BUT THEY'RE IN THE SAME SITUATION AND ALL THAT

_Queen Red:_ L I T E R A L L Y

_Mikey Moo:_ IT'S THE TRUTH

_Queen Red:_ we're surrounded by dumb gays 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ we really are

_Mikey Moo:_ we a r e

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Queen Red:_ Ben and Mike and i have concluded that you all are dumb gays 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The fuck did I do?

_Queen Red:_ i think you know 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I don't?? 

_Trashmouth:_ i know ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm pretty sure i know too

_Queen Red:_ okay hold on 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo - Group Chat**

—

**Queen Red added Spaghetti to the chat**

**Queen Red added Trashmouth to the chat**

_Queen Red:_ StanBill

_Trashmouth:_ I KNEW IT 

_Spaghetti:_ Stan likes Bill

_Spaghetti:_ we just gotta figure out Bill

_Benjamin Franklin:_ does he actually??

_Spaghetti:_ yeah

_Spaghetti:_ he told me when we did face reveals 

_Mikey Moo:_ i fucking knew it 

_Mikey Moo:_ face reveal day told a lot 

_Queen Red:_ it really did

_Trashmouth:_ Bill does

_Trashmouth:_ but we need him to legitimately say it

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ Mike 

_Queen Red:_ talk to Bill about it 

_Mikey Moo:_ why me ?? 

_Queen Red:_ you're the only one who doesn't have a gay you have to help

_Mikey Moo:_ Ben doesn't?? 

_Queen Red:_ let him escape the gay panic 

_Queen Red:_ gay panic is a whole different kind of panic

_Mikey Moo:_ you're not wrong

_Mikey Moo:_ so okay

_Mikey Moo:_ i'll save Ben

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

— 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm confused

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Please explain

_Queen Red:_ i can't

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Bitch 

_Queen Red:_ bitch 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ before you get more into that

_Benjamin Franklin:_ when are we video chatting?? 

_Big Billiam:_ does around 1 work? 

_Big Billiam:_ i have to help set up for our july 4th party

_Big Billiam:_ and we'll be done around 1

_Benjamin Franklin:_ works for me!

_Mikey Moo:_ me too! 

_Queen Red:_ same !

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yup :) 

_Trashmouth:_ i'll be waiting losers 

_Spaghetti:_ i'll be there ! 

_Spaghetti:_ also

_Spaghetti:_ Richie please don't be annoying

_Trashmouth:_ you're asking for the impossible Eddie my love 

_Spaghetti:_ on second thought

_Spaghetti:_ don't think i can video chat today

_Queen Red:_ lmfao stop

_Queen Red:_ just ignore Richie

_Spaghetti:_ i'll try to

_Trashmouth:_ rude 

_Spaghetti:_ shut up

_Staniel The Maniel:_ This is going to be the worst video chat ever 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ no it won't ! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ be positive Staniel !

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No

_Big Billiam:_ Stannn

_Big Billiam:_ listen to Ben

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ...Fine

_Queen Red:_ wow 

_Trashmouth:_ wow indeed

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck right off >:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are ya ready for the video chat?? i don't think so. guys it'll be so fucking chaotic lmfaoo. 
> 
> hey look, there's some Stenbrough content;))) we love some gay babiessss. 
> 
> and it's official. they all are dumb gays. someone please help them. lmao jk don't. it's funny to watch them have gay panic. 
> 
> anywhooooooo, i hope you liked it! leave a like or comment if you would!<33


	8. video chat part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the longish wait for this chapter! i have been so fucking busy with christmas and my dog got sick AGAIN. so yeah. but i really like this chapter. i had a lot of fun with it and i hope you guys like it too:)

**July 4th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Benjamin Franklin:_ do you guys have skype? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ my phone is trash and the video chat doesn't really work

_Benjamin Franklin:_ so i use skype to video chat

_Queen Red:_ i have skype! 

_Trashmouth:_ if you don't have skype

_Trashmouth:_ you don't deserve respect

_Big Billiam:_ Richie says something agreeable for once 

_Spaghetti:_ that's the truth

_Spaghetti:_ skype is god tier

_Mikey Moo:_ yes it is 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Skype is okay

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I never really video chat people so I have no real opinion

_Big Billiam:_ we are so changing that

_Trashmouth:_ yes we are 

_Trashmouth:_ video chatting is amazing

_Staniel The Maniel:_ With you it's not

_Trashmouth:_ listen here you bitch

_Trashmouth:_ you can say that AFTER you video chat with me once 

_Trashmouth:_ until you talk to me 

_Trashmouth:_ i want to hear NOTHING from you

_Queen Red:_ he has a valid point 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fine :/ 

_Trashmouth:_ fucK yeah

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up

_Trashmouth:_ ಠ╭╮ಠ

_Benjamin Franklin:_ all you two do is insult each other and argue 

_Mikey Moo:_ literally

_Mikey Moo:_ it's almost as bad as Richie and Eddie’s flirting 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Don't EVER compare me to them again

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I am NOTHING like those dense idiots

_Spaghetti:_ i'm RIGHT here 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah

_Trashmouth:_ if you're gunna talk shit 

_Trashmouth:_ at least do it where i can't see 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's not as fun as doing it in front of you though

_Trashmouth:_ m e a n i e 

_Queen Red:_ okay shut the fuck up

_Queen Red:_ give me your skype usernames 

_Trashmouth:_ bichie_bozier 

_Queen Red:_ you're a fucking loser omg 

_Trashmouth:_ yet you love me 

_Queen Red:_ that i do 

_Spaghetti:_ i can't believe THAT is your username

_Trashmouth:_ let me live my life bitch

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Trashmouth:_ rude

_Queen Red:_ shut up about bichie and tell me your username

_Spaghetti:_ Eddie.K

_Trashmouth:_ that's boring

_Spaghetti:_ shut up

_Spaghetti:_ i wasn't a creative child 

_Queen Red:_ leave him alone

_Queen Red:_ he's cute 

_Spaghetti:_ thanks Bev <3 

_Queen Red:_ anytime bb <3 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel so unloved 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good 

_Trashmouth:_ f u c k y o u 

_Queen Red:_ Stan username me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Stanley_Uris 

_Trashmouth:_ you're boring too wtf 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Stop talking to me 

_Trashmouth:_ i will when you make better usernames

_Queen Red:_ i hate both of you 

_Queen Red:_ this is exactly wHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

_Benjamin Franklin:_ she’s right 

_Trashmouth:_ BENJAMIN HOW DARE

_Trashmouth:_ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I DO !! 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU DON'T THOUGH

_Benjamin Franklin:_ BUT I DO 

_Mikey Moo:_ so much chaos,,,

_Big Billiam:_ can i just,,,,leave ? 

_Queen Red:_ you cannot leave 

_Queen Red:_ i won't allow it 

_Queen Red:_ now username me you bitches 

_Big Billiam:_ billyboy11

_Trashmouth:_ finally some creativity

_Queen Red:_ shut the fuck up until we get all the usernames

_Trashmouth:_ abuse 

_Queen Red:_ BICHIE I SWEAR

_Trashmouth:_ KSHDJDJ F I N E 

_Queen Red:_ THANK YOU

_Queen Red:_ now 

_Queen Red:_ u s e r n a m e s p l e a s e 

_Mikey Moo:_ farmboyo864

_Benjamin Franklin:_ newkidsonthe_block4269

_Queen Red:_ thanks babes 

_Queen Red:_ mine’s queen__bev 

_Queen Red:_ okay you can speak now Richie

_Trashmouth:_ THANK FUCK

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Make him quiet again please 

_Trashmouth:_ you can be mean all you want Stanny

_Trashmouth:_ but i know you love me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ S i g h 

_Big Billiam:_ sometimes i cannot stand you guys 

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ :( 

_Big Billiam:_ waitwaitwait

_Big Billiam:_ don't be sad !! 

_Big Billiam:_ i love you Stan !! 

_Big Billiam:_ and Richie

_Trashmouth:_ wow 

_Trashmouth:_ i see how it is 

_Big Billiam:_ i don't know what you mean 

_Trashmouth:_ mhmm

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo - Group Chat**

—

_Trashmouth:_ Bill really said “i'm gay for Stan” in that message

_Queen Red:_ HE DID 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it was cute! 

_Mikey Moo:_ i swear Ben's the only nice one here 

_Spaghetti:_ Mike you're nice too 

_Spaghetti:_ stop trying to act like you aren't

_Queen Red:_ Eddie just called you OUT 

_Mikey Moo:_ he really did omg 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ all of you are nice but you just don't acknowledge it 

_Queen Red:_ it's true 

_Trashmouth:_ no

_Benjamin Franklin:_ :( 

_Queen Red:_ YOU MADE BEN SAD 

_Queen Red:_ TAKE IT FUCKING BACK RICHIE 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M SORRY BEN!!! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ JSJDJD IT'S OKAY!! 

_Spaghetti:_ why don't you ever apologize for making me sad ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ you don't deserve my apology 

_Spaghetti:_ bitch??? 

_Mikey Moo:_ god fucking bless 

_Queen Red:_ re-fucking-tweet 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ ,,,,ye a h 

_Spaghetti:_ stop that you assholes 

_Trashmouth:_ don't stop that 

_Spaghetti:_ n o 

_Mikey Moo:_ this chat is StanBill 

_Mikey Moo:_ so you two need to take RichieEddie out of here 

_Queen Red:_ yeah listen to Mike 

_Trashmouth:_ let us be gay

_Trashmouth:_ don't be mean

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm being mean 

_Queen Red:_ same 

_Trashmouth:_ the homophobia

_Queen Red:_ ISJJDD SHUT UP

_Spaghetti:_ crackheads 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ pffff true

_Trashmouth:_ Eds 

_Trashmouth:_ you're literally the biggest crackhead here 

_Queen Red:_ eh 

_Queen Red:_ it's a toss up between you and Eddie 

_Trashmouth:_ that's fair

_Mikey Moo:_ we need an answer

_Mikey Moo:_ who is the biggest crackhead 

_Queen Red:_ hold the fuck on 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

— 

_Queen Red:_ who is the biggest crackhead here - Richie or Eddie ?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Richie

_Big Billiam:_ Richie

_Trashmouth:_ wow what the fuck

_Spaghetti:_ hA 

_Spaghetti:_ I WIN 

_Trashmouth:_ you win most annoying person ever 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's actually you Richie

_Trashmouth:_ i feel so attacked right now 

_Big Billiam:_ i'll protect you 

_Trashmouth:_ omg i love you

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We can't be friends anymore Bill :/ 

_Big Billiam:_ wait 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Big Billiam:_ what

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's me or Richie

_Big Billiam:_ b u t 

_Queen Red:_ alright now 

_Queen Red:_ y'all are getting out of hand 

_Mikey Moo:_ she's right 

_Trashmouth:_ nono shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ i wanna know who Bill picks 

_Spaghetti:_ it's not going to be you 

_Trashmouth:_ >:(

_Benjamin Franklin:_ can't we just let Bill pick both?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Big Billiam:_ please don't do this to me 

_Trashmouth:_ pick one you coward

_Big Billiam:_ i don't wanna 

_Trashmouth:_ too bad 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's obviously me 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ it's me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's me 

_Trashmouth:_ IT'S NOT YOU

_Staniel The Maniel:_ YES IT IS 

_Big Billiam:_ oh look at that

_Big Billiam:_ my parents need more help 

_Big Billiam:_ i gotta blast 

_Big Billiam:_ see you guys at 1 ! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ ...is someone going to tell him that it's 12:55 or ??? 

_Mikey Moo:_ lmfao omg

_Spaghetti:_ rip Bill 

_Queen Red:_ his poor poor soul

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Trashmouth:_ wow indeed 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ i?? 

_Queen Red:_ stop being annoying for one second and get skype ready 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fine 

_Queen Red:_ good 

_Queen Red:_ now 

_Queen Red:_ Billiam come back and get ready to video chat 

_Big Billiam:_ ...is it safe? 

_Queen Red:_ for now yes 

_Big Billiam:_ okay good

_Big Billiam:_ and please ignore the fact that i tried to run away and say “see you at 1” at 12:55 

_Queen Red:_ YOU IDIOT

_Big Billiam:_ I SAID IGNORE IT 

_Queen Red:_ right 

_Queen Red:_ sorry lmao 

_Mikey Moo:_ just so you know 

_Mikey Moo:_ i will not ignore that

_Mikey Moo:_ that's too funny to ignore

_Big Billiam:_ ;-; 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm ignoring it for now

_Trashmouth:_ but i'm definitely coming back to it later 

_Trashmouth:_ but the most important thing right now is the video chat 

_Trashmouth:_ are you losers fucking ready for the video chat ? 

_Queen Red:_ FUCK YES 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YES ! 

_Mikey Moo:_ OF COURSE

_Spaghetti:_ I'M READY AS I'LL EVER BE

_Big Billiam:_ LMAO SAME EDDIE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Y a y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Talking to Richie for real :// 

_Trashmouth:_ SMILE BITCH 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Trashmouth:_ you're out here ruining the mood Staniel 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just shut up and go to Skype

~ 

Richie stared at the call button that sat on his computer screen. He wanted to press it, but he was so fucking nervous. All of his insecurities were bubbling to the surface which was really _stupid_ because if they didn't like him, they wouldn't have stayed in the group chat with him for an entire week. 

But texting _was_ different from video chatting.

So maybe after the video chat, they'd realize they made a mistake becoming his friend because his voice was _super_ annoying. And his laugh was _very_ obnoxious. And he _never_ shut his goddamn mouth. Seriously. He just talked and talked and _talked_. It was genuinely the only thing he was good at which was sad as fuck. But hey. A lot of things were sad as fuck about Richie and his life. So it was whatever. 

Actually, that was a lie. It wasn’t whatever. He hated how sad as fuck things were for him. Like _a lot_. But it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. He couldn’t magically change who he was. He _wished_ he could do that, but alas, he _couldn’t_. So he was stuck to deal with his shitty self. And his friends were stuck to deal with his shittiness too. 

Well, they _weren't_ stuck. They could leave whenever they wanted to. They weren’t _obligated_ to stay with him and be his friend. 

You know...He _could_ cancel. He _could_ make up some dumb lie to get out of the video chat just so he could save himself from having to lose the only people that he actually liked and wanted to stay friends with. 

Okay, but he didn’t _know_ if they would want to unfriend him. That was just his anxiety saying that. Maybe they _wouldn’t_ want to unfriend him. Maybe they’d stay with him. Maybe this would actually work in his favor, and he’d get to keep these people by his side. He _hoped_ that was how it all decided to play out. 

There was only one way to find out how things would turn out; get the fuck over his insecurities and start the damn call. 

Richie moved his cursor to hover over the call button. He stared at it for a second before letting out a breath and clicking it. 

It rang once and then everyone picked up. 

There was an awkward silence that gripped all of them and that was when Richie realized they were all just as nervous as he was about the whole thing. He felt extremely relieved knowing that. 

With relief crashing over him, he decided to be the one to break the silence by saying, “Guys. It’s Captain America’s birthday. How are we feeling about that?” 

“I’m feeling pretty great about that. Cap is the _best_ Avenger.” Came the reply from the box to the bottom right of the screen. It was Mike’s box. And it made sense. Richie could totally see Mike as the Captain America lover. 

“What the fuck? He’s absolutely _not_ the best Avenger.” Beverly’s voice came from the box right above Mike. “It’s obviously Black Widow.” 

“Eh. I think it’s Thor,” Ben said with a smile. “He’s the _God of Thunder_. Nothing beats that.” 

“You’re only saying that because your name is Benjamin Franklin and you’re obligated to like thunder and lightning.” Richie couldn’t help himself. Ben walked _right_ into that joke. 

“Did you actually just fucking say that?” Eddie was looking at Richie with such a judgmental look and Richie laughed. He didn’t mean to. He _really_ didn’t, but it was a _hilarious_ look. And it was _cute_. _Very cute_. 

“I did and in no way am I ashamed.” 

“You should be ashamed. That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my _entire_ life.” 

“You’re just jealous that you don’t have my joke skills, Eds.” 

“Oh trust me. I’m not jealous at all. And _don’t_ call me that.” 

“Oh my _God_.” Stan sighed and rolled his eyes. 

“Listen, Stani-” 

“No. I will not listen to you when it's barely even been five minutes since this call started and you’re already flirting.” 

“Oh no. Y-you used the f word, S-stan. Eddie’s g-going to f-flip his lid.” Bill grinned as he spoke and Richie almost laughed but stopped himself because Eddie would beat his ass for laughing. 

“I will hang up.” 

“Awe, come on, Eddie. Don’t be like that.” Beverly flashed him a smile which he returned by flipping her off. 

“I’m being like that.” 

“You’re a feisty little thing.” 

“Call me little again, Richie. I _dare_ you.” 

“I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.” 

“Bitch-” 

“Can we go back to the conversation that was taking place before dumbass one and dumbass two started speaking?” Stan asked, cutting Eddie off much to Richie’s dismay. He really wanted to listen to Eddie go off. Eddie was so fucking cute, and Richie was slowly _dying_. “Because all of you are wrong. Hawkeye is the best Avenger.” 

And with that Richie stopped silently dying over Eddie — for now at least — and focused on the Avengers conversation because who in fuck picked _Hawkeye_ over the other Avengers?? “Hawkeye- what the _fuck_? He’s boring as hell.” 

“You’re boring as hell too. What’s your point?” 

“Spider-Man is the best and that is a _fact_.” Okay, Eddie was cute, but his opinion on this matter was so _invalid_. 

“Eds, Spider-Man isn’t even an Avenger.” 

“Yes, he is.” 

“He’s not.” 

“Okay then. Who’s the best in your opinion?” 

“Iron Man. Duh.” 

“Makes sense. You’re both _way_ too cocky and annoying.” 

“You’re all w-wrong. Bruce B-banner wins t-the best Avenger.” Bill’s opinion was somewhat valid. Bruce was a decent Avenger. Well, the _Hulk_ was a decent Avenger. 

“Bill is the only one here with good taste.” Of course, _Stan_ said that. 

“_Gay_.” Beverly coughed it out which sent Richie into a fit of laughter. 

“Oh fuck _off_.” Stan glared at Beverly and then at Richie. There was a noticeable amount of blush on his face which just made Richie laugh harder. Stan was crushing real hard, and it was _great_. Richie could and would make fun of him _all the time_. 

“And I thought the group chat was chaotic…” Ben looked between Stan and Richie’s screen with a grin on his face. 

“Oh yeah. Video chat is so much worse...I have never met people who are more on crack than all of you.” 

“Micycle, you’re a crackhead like the rest of us. Stop trying to act all innocent.” Beverly burst out laughing. 

“Richie, stop fucking calling him _Micycle_. I can’t handle it.” 

“Do you prefer Mikey Moo?” 

“I prefer _Mike_ since that’s, you know, his _name_.” 

“Mike, what do you prefer?” 

“I’d prefer for you to stop talking.” 

“_Rude_.” 

“I’m pretty sure everyone would prefer for Richie to stop talking,” Eddie said and Stan made a sound of agreement. 

“That’s not what your mom prefers, Eds. She _really_ likes it when I talk.” Richie shot a wink Eddie’s way which earned him the middle finger. 

“You are literally so fucking disgusting and so fucking immature.” 

“And yet you’re in love with me.” 

“I’m _not_ in love with you dickwad. I hate your guts actually.” 

“That’s not what you said last night.” 

“_Shut up!_” 

Richie didn’t shut up. _Surprise_. But no one really seemed to mind. They all acted annoyed, but they had smiles on their faces and they were laughing the entire time. Even Stan — who insisted that Richie was the most annoying person he had ever encountered — laughed and smiled at certain things. Richie felt very powerful whenever that happened. 

Scratch that. 

Richie felt very powerful whenever he got _Eddie_ to laugh and smile. Eddie’s smile was literally the most beautiful thing that Richie had ever seen. And his laugh. His laugh was fucking _perfect_. _Everything_ about Eddie was fucking _perfect_. Eddie was a literal gift from the gods. 

Through the rest of the entire video chat, Richie was making heart eyes at Eddie. It wasn’t like he was _trying_ to do it, but Eddie did anything and Richie just _melted_. There was one time that Eddie giggled. Yes, he _giggled_. Richie died right there and then. 

Soon enough everyone started to have to leave; parties and all that for July 4th. Bill left first and then Stan. Then Mike and Ben. Then Beverly left. 

Richie was waiting for Eddie to say he had to go too, but he never said it.

Instead, he said “Uh, I don’t have to go. I never do anything for July 4th. So we could stay and talk...If you don’t have to go anywhere.” _Cute, cute, cute!_

“I never do anything for the 4th either. Not until way later anyway. I’m all yours, Spaghetti.” 

“If you call me that again then I will hang up on you.” 

“Hostile.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You love me.” 

“Do I?” 

“Wow. Okay. I see how it is.” 

“I’m just kidding. Calm down, Trashmouth.” 

“I _knew_ you loved me!” 

“I take it back.” 

“You cannot do that, Eds.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“A good ridiculous, right?” 

“Well, yeah. I wouldn't be here if it was a bad ridiculous.” 

“If it was a bad ridiculous I think you’d still talk to me because I’m _hot_.” 

Eddie shook his head but smiled softly, and Richie was hit really hard with the want to kiss him. 

“Believe what you want.” 

“You don’t think I’m hot?” 

“Nope.” 

“Not even a little?”

“Nope.” 

“I mean...That’s not what you said when we did face reveals.” Eddie’s cheeks turned red and his eyes dropped to his lap. 

“Okay. Listen.” 

“I’m listening.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Aaaand mean Eddie is back.” 

“You started it, so…” 

“Right, right. I’m sorry, but you _did_ say that I’m _‘so fucking attractive’_ if I do recall correctly.” 

“And _you_ claimed to be having a _‘gay crisis’_ and you said _a lot_ of other things.” It was Richie’s turn to turn red and drop his eyes to his lap. 

“Shut up.” 

“_Ha_. Now you know how it feels.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

They fell into silence after that. It was a comfortable silence, though. Richie liked it. He liked _Eddie_. 

Then Richie’s mom called his name and ruined the nice moment they were having. 

“Shit. I’m sorry. I gotta go.” 

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you later, Rich.” Richie was sure he could listen to Eddie calling him _Rich_ every day for the rest of his life. 

“Talk to you later, Eds.” 

The call ended, and Richie didn’t _squeal with happiness_. He really _didn’t_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was it as chaotic and amazing as you all wished it to be?? i hope so. i tried very hard and like, stayed up til 4am for it fjkdsflds. 
> 
> okay but like Richie and Eddie are very very VERY in love. i would die for them. and like,,,i WILL put more Benverly in soon, i swear. they deserve love and appreciation too. 
> 
> yeeehaw, i hope you liked this! leave me a like or comment if you would! i appreciate every single one of them<33


	9. how to successfully piss off stanley uris

**July 5th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Queen Red:_ that video chat was amazing

_Queen Red:_ i love you all very much 

_Queen Red:_ and please never ever leave me 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ awww Bev!! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ we'll never leave you and we love you too!

_Mikey Moo:_ Ben's stating nothing but facts 

_Trashmouth:_ it's true 

_Trashmouth:_ and like not to be dramatic but 

_Trashmouth:_ i'd die for all of you 

_Big Billiam:_ i second that statement

_Trashmouth:_ i can't believe you agreed with me 

_Big Billiam:_ i can't either 

_Trashmouth:_ (¬‿¬)

_Spaghetti:_ that fucking face omg 

_Trashmouth:_ it's hot 

_Spaghetti:_ shut up 

_Spaghetti:_ and Ben is correct 

_Spaghetti:_ you’re the only people i like 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's true for me too

_Trashmouth:_ i'm waiting for the insult 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Except for about Richie

_Trashmouth:_ there it is 

_Trashmouth:_ these insults are getting old Stanny 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ So are you 

_Trashmouth:_ HEY NOW 

_Trashmouth:_ DON'T ATTACK MY AGE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fucking watch me 

_Queen Red:_ IDHSJD GOD 

_Queen Red:_ i cannot STAND you two 

_Big Billiam:_ honestly a mood

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You know Bill 

_Big Billiam:_ oh no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You still haven't picked between Richie and me 

_Big Billiam:_ and i never will 

_Trashmouth:_ a coward 

_Big Billiam:_ dude it's like me asking you to pick between Bev and Eddie 

_Trashmouth:_ that's easy 

_Trashmouth:_ i pick Eds 

_Queen Red:_ that was a weak statement Bill 

_Queen Red:_ we all know Richie would pick Eddie over all of us 

_Spaghetti:_ why???? 

_Queen Red:_ you guys are in love

_Queen Red:_ why would he not pick you ??

_Spaghetti:_ omg 

_Spaghetti:_ we aren't in love 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't believe that's true 

_Trashmouth:_ we had a moment yesterday 

_Trashmouth:_ and it was really gay and love filled 

_Mikey Moo:_ what moment ? 

_Spaghetti:_ it was n o t h in g

_Trashmouth:_ awe don't be embarrassed about it 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck off 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not embarrassed 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ tell us about this moment 

_Spaghetti:_ n o 

_Trashmouth:_ we talked some more after you all left and it was c u t e 

_Trashmouth:_ Eddie was actually nice to me and i loved every second of it 

_Spaghetti:_ bitch 

_Spaghetti:_ stop ruining my reputation

_Trashmouth:_ never 

_Spaghetti:_ :/ 

_Trashmouth:_ (◕‿◕✿)

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - R+E**

—

_Queen Red:_ omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me too 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ sometimes i just think about how Stan and Bev probably like cry whenever we get RichieEddie content because they ships it so much 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I won't confirm or deny that 

_Queen Red:_ STANSKSJDJDJDJ

_Queen Red:_ sidenote - i will confirm that 

_Big Billiam:_ STAN OMG 

_Mikey Moo:_ HE'S THE NUMBER ONE SHIPPER 

_Queen Red:_ i will fight for the role of number one shipper

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Let's fucking go 

_Queen Red:_ you're on bitch 

_Big Billiam:_ oh shit oh shit 

_Big Billiam:_ it's getting real 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Mikey Moo:_ Bev and Stan are fighting for the role of number one RichieEddie shipper

_Spaghetti:_ why the fuck ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ it's totally Stan

_Spaghetti:_ don't encourage this Richie wtf 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm so encouraging it 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ love you too babe 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ See? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I win 

_Queen Red:_ Richie's opinion is invalid 

_Trashmouth:_ bitch??? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ let's take a vote 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ say i if you think Beverly is the number one RichieEddie shipper 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i 

_Queen Red:_ wow 

_Queen Red:_ just Ben 

_Queen Red:_ fuck y'all 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Take that bitch 

_Queen Red:_ i'm killing myself 

_Trashmouth:_ WAIT NO 

_Trashmouth:_ COME BACK 

_Trashmouth:_ I CHANGE MY VOTE 

_Queen Red:_ :) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Invalid 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ you're just jealous 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Not even a little bit 

_Spaghetti:_ i want new friends 

_Big Billiam:_ you love us 

_Spaghetti:_ no i don't 

_Big Billiam:_ :( 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You made Bill sad 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Apologize right now 

_Spaghetti:_ i- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Do it >:( 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm,,,sorry 

_Big Billiam:_ omgjsjdjdjdjdj it's okay 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo - Group Chat**

— 

_Trashmouth:_ did he just- 

_Mikey Moo:_ he did 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yup 

_Queen Red:_ talk about GAY 

_Spaghetti:_ JSHDJDJ LITERALLY 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S CUTE THOUGH 

_Queen Red:_ I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

_Spaghetti:_ MOOD 

_Trashmouth:_ that's dramatic 

_Mikey Moo:_ you said you'd die for all of us earlier ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up 

_Mikey Moo:_ n o 

_Trashmouth:_ asshat 

_Mikey Moo:_ whore 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm only a whore for Eds :) 

_Spaghetti:_ goodBYE

_Queen Red:_ ಠ_ಠ

_Mikey Moo:_ me too Bev me too 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ sigh 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Queen Red:_ i hate Eddie and Richie 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm right here ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ i mean it's a fair statement 

_Spaghetti:_ if it was just ‘i hate Richie’ then yes 

_Spaghetti:_ but i didn't do anything 

_Queen Red:_ you did 

_Spaghetti:_ ?? 

_Queen Red:_ you acted as a dumb gay again

_Spaghetti:_ ho w ?? 

_Queen Red:_ you know how 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm electing to ignore it 

_Queen Red:_ smh

_Trashmouth:_ the fuck are you talking about?? 

_Queen Red:_ shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ (ಥ﹏ಥ)

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Can someone please take the fucking faces away from him?? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ honestly,,,

_Trashmouth:_ Ben has been really mean to me lately 

_Trashmouth:_ kinda offended 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ no i haven't!! 

_Trashmouth:_ you have :/ 

_Queen Red:_ leave Ben alone 

_Queen Red:_ he does no wrong 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg i love you <3

_Queen Red:_ i love you too <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i love you more <3

_Queen Red:_ impossible

_Queen Red:_ i love you m o r e <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ sjsjjdjddj <333 

_Queen Red:_ <3333 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti - Private Message**

—

_Trashmouth:_ Eds 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ what the fuck do you want 

_Trashmouth:_ wow okay 

_Trashmouth:_ nevermind 

_Trashmouth:_ i'll tell Stan 

_Spaghetti:_ wait no 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m sorry 

_Spaghetti:_ tell me please 

_Trashmouth:_ cute 

_Spaghetti:_ shut u p 

_Spaghetti:_ just te ll me 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm getting Benverly vibes 

_Spaghetti:_ YO ME TOO 

_Trashmouth:_ Y E S 

_Spaghetti:_ they'd be so cute 

_Trashmouth:_ it's true 

_Trashmouth:_ but we’d be cuter :) 

_Spaghetti:_ shut up 

_Spaghetti:_ you're ridiculous 

_Trashmouth:_ but a good ridiculous

_Trashmouth:_ you said so yourself 

_Spaghetti:_ that i did 

_Trashmouth:_ :) 

— 

**Spaghetti, Staniel The Maniel - Private Message**

— 

**Spaghetti sent a picture**

_Spaghetti:_ please help 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh my God 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Please just fucking date him 

_Spaghetti:_ butbutbut 

_Spaghetti:_ he doesn't like me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ WHAT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ DO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ YOU 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ MEAN 

_Spaghetti:_ Stan- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ NO FUCKING NO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU ???? 

_Spaghetti:_ very 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ FUCKING CLEARLY 

_Spaghetti:_ stop yelling omg 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ NO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY PISSED ME OFF 

_Spaghetti:_ … 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - R+E**

—

**Staniel The Maniel sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ DID HE ACTUALLY- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Y U P 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ EXCUSE ME ??? 

_Big Billiam:_ I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS 

_Mikey Moo:_ EDDIE YOU FUCKING IDIOT

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY

_Staniel The Maniel:_ HE'S SO FUCKING STUPID

_Queen Red:_ I FEEL THAT 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I ALSO FEEL THAT 

_Big Billiam:_ I ALSO ALSO FEEL THAT 

_Mikey Moo:_ I ALSO ALSO ALSO FEEL THAT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’M GOING TO TAKE A FUCKING BATH

_Queen Red:_ FJDSKALJSKA STAN 

_Big Billiam:_ OKAY BUT HE HAS THE RIGHT IDEA 

_Big Billiam:_ I CANNOT STAND THEY 

_Queen Red:_ HONESTLY YEAH,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't yell at me about the bath reference, please. 
> 
> bUT. we finally got a little bit of Benverly. how we feeling?? and how we feeling about the Reddie shit?? :))
> 
> this chapter is honestly just fucking crack. i was like half high when i wrote it. not literally. but yea h. okay, but like i feel high. i laughed for like 15 minutes straight because of something i said while i was writing my fix it and my friend was judging me so hard cause we were on facetime lmfaofdskjfsj. i snorted like 7 times and was crying by the end of it. god bless me. 
> 
> anyway, enough about my crackhead self. 
> 
> i hope you liked the chapter! leave a like or comment if you would ! <33


	10. maggie tozier is an icon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a lil angsty since they talk about how shitty Eddie's mother and Bev's father are, just a heads up!

**July 6th**

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

— 

_Queen Red:_ i hate mondays

_Trashmouth:_ i mean same 

_Trashmouth:_ but it's summer

_Trashmouth:_ so it shouldn't be hated that much 

_Queen Red:_ yes but i need to go to work at 2 :/ 

_Trashmouth:_ god fucking bless you 

_Spaghetti:_ i want a job 

_Queen Red:_ no you don't

_Queen Red:_ it's horrible

_Spaghetti:_ but you get money 

_Queen Red:_ fair point 

_Queen Red:_ but it still sucks

_Spaghetti:_ yeah but i'd do anything to get out of this house 

_Queen Red:_ i feel that 

_Queen Red:_ well i USED to feel that 

_Queen Red:_ i live in a better house now 

_Spaghetti:_ ha 

_Spaghetti:_ wonder what that feels like 

_Trashmouth:_ come live with me 

_Trashmouth:_ my parents are nice 

_Queen Red:_ or come live with me 

_Queen Red:_ my aunt is so sweet 

_Spaghetti:_ i wish i could 

_Queen Red:_ i can kidnap you 

_Spaghetti:_ okay sjdjjddj

_Trashmouth:_ insulted that you picked Bev over me 

_Spaghetti:_ shut up omg 

_Spaghetti:_ kidnap me first 

_Trashmouth:_ i accept that challenge

_Queen Red:_ bitch back off

_Queen Red:_ he's mine 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Trashmouth:_ he's MINE 

_Queen Red:_ he’s actually MINE 

_Spaghetti:_ i take it back 

_Spaghetti:_ someone else kidnap me 

_Big Billiam:_ i would 

_Big Billiam:_ but my parents suck too :/ 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me too 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Well my mom is fine 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ But my dad fucking sucks 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's just me and my mom

_Benjamin Franklin:_ and she's good 

_Spaghetti:_ Ben kidnap me 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ okay! 

_Trashmouth:_ wow okay 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you too Eds 

_Mikey Moo:_ i live with my grandpa 

_Mikey Moo:_ i dislike him a lot 

_Spaghetti:_ we should start a shitty family club 

_Big Billiam:_ yes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ come live with me!!! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'd rather die than live with you 

_Trashmouth:_ should've seen that one coming

_Mikey Moo:_ i'll live with you Richie

_Big Billiam:_ me too

_Trashmouth:_ okay :) 

_Trashmouth:_ Mike and Bill are the only people i like 

_Queen Red:_ suck my dick 

_Trashmouth:_ can't 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm no cheater 

_Spaghetti:_ stop 

_Trashmouth:_ you don't know what i'm thinking

_Spaghetti:_ yes i do 

_Spaghetti:_ literally all of us do 

_Queen Red:_ he's right 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes he is 

_Big Billiam:_ it's true 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it really is true

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yeah

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Think of something better 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you >:( 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You probably don't shower 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I wouldn't even hug you 

_Trashmouth:_ i shower all the time thank you very much 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Doubtful 

_Trashmouth:_ i’m taking one right now bitch

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ew 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ What the fuck 

_Queen Red:_ send pics ;) 

_Trashmouth:_ only for Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't fucking want pics from you 

_Queen Red:_ hmmmm 

_Spaghetti:_ shut the fuck uP 

_Queen Red:_ i didn't say anything

_Spaghetti:_ >:( 

_Big Billiam:_ i like how we go from talking about our shitty families to Richie taking a shower and sending pics 

_Mikey Moo:_ only w e could change the conversation that much 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ honestly though 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's kind of concerning 

_Trashmouth:_ only a little 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Actually it's VERY concerning

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's a serious topic and Richie shower pics is the least serious topic ever 

_Big Billiam:_ he's right 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah but serious topics are scary 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ that's true 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i don't like serious topics 

_Big Billiam:_ me either 

_Queen Red:_ i don't think anyone LIKES serious topics 

_Queen Red:_ but you have to deal with them at some point in your life 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Spaghetti:_ can't avoid that shit forever 

—

**Spaghetti, Queen Red - Private Message**

—

_Queen Red:_ question on serious topic 

_Spaghetti:_ answer on serious topic 

_Queen Red:_ who do you live with ? 

_Spaghetti:_ my mom 

_Spaghetti:_ why? 

_Queen Red:_ i used to live with my dad and he was really bad 

_Queen Red:_ and i was just wondering if it was your dad too 

_Spaghetti:_ he died when i was 5 

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry :( 

_Spaghetti:_ it's alright 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't have much memory of him so it doesn't hurt that bad 

_Queen Red:_ same with my mom 

_Queen Red:_ i was REALLY young so i don't remember anything about her 

_Spaghetti:_ i wish i knew him 

_Queen Red:_ i know 

_Queen Red:_ i wish i knew her 

_Queen Red:_ can i ask you something else? 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah 

_Queen Red:_ what does she do to you? 

_Spaghetti:_ it's not like BAD 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ what 

_Queen Red:_ you don't need to act like it's okay 

_Queen Red:_ if it hurts you then it's BAD 

_Spaghetti:_ i know 

_Spaghetti:_ i just hate admitting it 

_Queen Red:_ i know the feeling 

_Queen Red:_ does she like,,,hurt you? 

_Spaghetti:_ not physically 

_Spaghetti:_ but mentally yeah 

_Spaghetti:_ she's convinced that i'm delicate and everything is a danger to me 

_Spaghetti:_ i have been to the hospital so much just with a cold and all that because she's a hypochondriac

_Spaghetti:_ now i'm one too 

_Spaghetti:_ she never lets me do anything with friends and she never has 

_Spaghetti:_ she's so goddamn manipulative and every time we argue it's somehow always my fault 

_Spaghetti:_ it's fucking shitty 

_Queen Red:_ fuck i'm so sorry Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ it's okay 

_Spaghetti:_ if i avoid her it's fine 

_Queen Red:_ but that's not how your life should be 

_Spaghetti:_ i know but i can't do anything about it until college

_Spaghetti:_ i'm going to new york city so i'll be away from her 

_Queen Red:_ that's a good idea 

_Queen Red:_ and guess what ? 

_Spaghetti:_ what 

_Queen Red:_ i'm going to nyc too :) 

_Spaghetti:_ seriously?? 

_Queen Red:_ yup 

_Spaghetti:_ we gotta hang out all the time ! 

_Queen Red:_ hell yeah ! 

_Spaghetti:_ don't wanna ruin the happy mood

_Spaghetti:_ but what did your dad do? 

_Spaghetti:_ you don't have to answer that if you don't want 

_Queen Red:_ well he was an ass 

_Queen Red:_ he never hit me but he did other shit 

_Queen Red:_ and he always blamed me for my mom's death 

_Spaghetti:_ Bev i'm so sorry 

_Queen Red:_ it's okay 

_Queen Red:_ he's dead and i have my aunt 

_Spaghetti:_ good 

_Spaghetti:_ i would've beat his ass 

_Queen Red:_ i would've loved to see that 

_Queen Red:_ you're feral and dangerous 

_Spaghetti:_ it's true 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m a rabid creature

_Queen Red:_ but a cute one 

_Spaghetti:_ omfg stop

_Spaghetti:_ you sound like Richie 

_Queen Red:_ he's right though

_Spaghetti:_ n o 

_Queen Red:_ y e s

_Spaghetti:_ go flirt with Ben 

_Queen Red:_ BITCHSKDJDJDJDJ 

_Spaghetti:_ i know you l o v e him 

_Queen Red:_ i'll admit i like him 

_Queen Red:_ i'm not a bitch like you who refused to admit that you liked someone until your jealousy got the best of you 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck OFF 

_Queen Red:_ never :) 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm rolling my eyes at you 

_Queen Red:_ wouldn't expect anything less from you 

— 

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti - Private Message**

— 

_Spaghetti:_ RICHIE

_Trashmouth:_ WHAT 

_Spaghetti:_ BEV LIKES BEN 

_Trashmouth:_ DOES SHE ACTUALLY??? 

_Spaghetti:_ SHE DOES 

_Spaghetti:_ SHE JUST ADMITTED IT TO ME 

_Trashmouth:_ I KNEW IT 

_Trashmouth:_ I FUCKING KNEW IT 

_Spaghetti:_ KSJSJSJSJ 

_Spaghetti:_ WE JUST NEED BEN TO ADMIT THAT HE LIKES HER 

_Trashmouth:_ I GOT THIS 

_Spaghetti:_ oh jesus 

_Trashmouth:_ what's that supposed to mean bitch

_Spaghetti:_ it means i think we should have anyone BUT you talk to him 

_Trashmouth:_ have you such little faith in me ? 

_Spaghetti:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ wow okay 

_Spaghetti:_ he needs someone like 

_Spaghetti:_ Mike or Bill to talk to 

_Trashmouth:_ Mike 

_Trashmouth:_ he's the second nicest person in our group 

_Spaghetti:_ that's true 

_Spaghetti:_ so Mike it is 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Big Billiam:_ did y'all die ?

_Spaghetti:_ i wish 

_Queen Red:_ same 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ are you okay? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you both kinda seemed upset when you disappeared 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm okay!

_Queen Red:_ me too! 

_Queen Red:_ we just needed a second

_Spaghetti:_ yeah but it's all gucci now 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ okay

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i'm here if you guys ever wanna talk 

_Spaghetti:_ thanks Ben <3 

_Queen Red:_ thank you <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ <3 

_Trashmouth:_ stop stealing my Eds 

_Queen Red:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ he's mine 

_Trashmouth:_ bitch no 

Trashmouth: i have claimed him 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm??? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Don't question it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just let it happen

_Spaghetti:_ but i don't wanna just let it happen

_Staniel The Maniel:_ They won't stop no matter what you say 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you're right 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah 

_Mikey Moo:_ sorry Eddie 

_Mikey Moo:_ you're stuck 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck me 

_Trashmouth:_ when and where 

_Spaghetti:_ GOODBYE

_Big Billiam:_ omfg 

_Big Billiam:_ sometimes i hate you guys 

_Trashmouth:_ that's homophobia

_Big Billiam:_ you're right 

_Trashmouth:_ you can't be a homophobe if you're gay Bill 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm not a homophobe to everyone

_Big Billiam:_ just you and Eddie 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I second that statement

_Mikey Moo:_ me too 

_Queen Red:_ me three 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ me four 

_Spaghetti:_ honestly,,,,me five 

_Trashmouth:_ you know w h a t 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck ALL of you 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't deserve this treatment 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You kind of do 

_Trashmouth:_ DID I ASK YOU 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ This gay is out of control

_Queen Red:_ we did provoke him 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We did 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm not sorry about it though

_Queen Red:_ oh i'm not either 

_Trashmouth:_ this is ABUSE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good :) 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm telling my mother 

_Queen Red:_ you won't 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yeah

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're a coward 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm going to do it right now 

_Queen Red:_ mhmm 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Alright Richie 

**Trashmouth sent a video**

_Trashmouth:_ take THAT 

_Mikey Moo:_ he actually did it omfg 

_Queen Red:_ RICHIEHSJSJDJD 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I- 

_Spaghetti:_ i like how she sighed so heavily before saying ‘be nice to him, please’ 

_Trashmouth:_ she loves me 

_Big Billiam:_ does she ? 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you yes she does

_Big Billiam:_ i don't believe it 

_Trashmouth:_ i'll ask then you asshole 

**Trashmouth sent a video**

_Queen Red:_ ‘no’ 

_Trashmouth:_ it means yes shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ she just thinks she's funny 

_Spaghetti:_ just like you think you're funny

_Trashmouth:_ you're so mean to me wtf 

_Spaghetti:_ you deserve it 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't

_Spaghetti:_ ask your mom 

_Spaghetti:_ she'll say yes you do 

_Trashmouth:_ fucking BET 

**Trashmouth sent a video**

_Trashmouth:_ WAIT DON'T OPEN THAT 

_Queen Red:_ i'm opening it 

_Trashmouth:_ NO 

**Trashmouth unsent a video**

_Queen Red:_ TOO LATE 

_Trashmouth:_ FUCK 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Spill the fucking tea 

_Trashmouth:_ PLEASE DON'T 

_Queen Red:_ oh i'm gunna 

_Trashmouth:_ N O 

_Queen Red:_ sorry not sorry 

_Queen Red:_ ‘mommmmmmm. Eddie bullies me so much and i hate it. my feelings are hurt’ 

_Queen Red:_ ‘Richie please stop complaining about your boyfriend. They aren't even real complaints anyway. i know you like it when he's mean to you’ 

_Queen Red:_ *Richie turns into stuttering mess while trying to deny what she said* 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S FUCKING GREAT 

_Mikey Moo:_ THAT IS GO LD

_Big Billiam:_ I CANNOT BREATHE HOLY SHIT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ H A H A H A 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ JSJDJD I LOVE YOUR MOTHER

_Trashmouth:_ FUCK OFF 

_Spaghetti:_ remind me to NEVER go to your house 

_Mikey Moo:_ but that's your boyfriend

_Mikey Moo:_ you gotta go over his house eventually

_Big Billiam:_ yeah 

_Big Billiam:_ you gotta meet the mother-in-law to be 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ‘Shut the fuck up’ 

_Spaghetti:_ SHUT THE FUCK UP 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ SJSJSJS STAN OMG 

_Queen Red:_ I'M SOBBING 

_Trashmouth:_ none of you are ever coming over 

_Trashmouth:_ not if you act like this and encourage my mother 

_Mikey Moo:_ oh come on 

_Mikey Moo:_ you love us 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't when you do THIS 

_Queen Red:_ yes you do 

_Trashmouth:_ suck my dick 

_Queen Red:_ thought you weren't a cheater 

_Trashmouth:_ KSHDJDJDJ I'M LEAVING 

_Queen Red:_ wait! 

_Queen Red:_ tell your mom i love her and she's an icon 

_Trashmouth:_ absolutely not 

_Queen Red:_ ple ase 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

_Trashmouth:_ sigh 

_Trashmouth:_ she says she loves you too and thank you 

_Queen Red:_ YAY :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more Benverly! and more Reddie lmfao. god, i can't write anything besides Reddie. i have a problemfjkdsjf. 
> 
> also like,,,this was the peak angst that'll be in this fic. just like talking about their shitty parents. except for Richie 'cause he has Maggie and Maggie is the best mother ever and she loves her spaz of a child very much. but yes, this is like the only angst. everything else will be the just pure crack of the Losers lmaofjdksf. 
> 
> but i hope you liked this chapter! leave me a like or comment if you would!! <33


	11. the reddie senses are tingling

**July 7th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Someone get me a milkshake

_Queen Red:_ i got you bb 

_Queen Red:_ i work at the diner 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Do you actually? 

_Queen Red:_ yes sir 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ How have I never ran into you? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I go there for milkshakes all the time 

_Queen Red:_ come in now 

_Queen Red:_ i'm here 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I totally might do that 

_Queen Red:_ please do 

_Queen Red:_ it's slow and i'm bored 

_Trashmouth:_ can i come too? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Queen Red:_ don't be mean 

_Queen Red:_ yes you can come Richie 

_Trashmouth:_ hell yes 

_Trashmouth:_ actually i can't :/ 

_Trashmouth:_ my mother is forcing me to clean 

_Spaghetti:_ fuckin loser 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you 

_Queen Red:_ noooo 

_Queen Red:_ i need company :( 

_Spaghetti:_ i would give you some but i can't go out today 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm sick 

_Queen Red:_ actual sickness? 

_Queen Red:_ or your mother being your mother? 

_Spaghetti:_ actual sickness this rime

_Queen Red:_ aww i'm sorry 

_Queen Red:_ get better<3 

_Spaghetti:_ i'll try<3 

_Trashmouth:_ do you have a raspy voice? 

_Spaghetti:_ no wtf 

_Trashmouth:_ i get a raspy voice when i'm sick 

_Spaghetti:_ fuckin loser 

_Trashmouth:_ you already said that 

_Spaghetti:_ because it still applies to you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It always will 

_Trashmouth:_ i hate both of you 

_Mikey Moo:_ biggest lie ever 

_Big Billiam:_ that's true 

_Big Billiam:_ Richie hating Eddie? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ that's impossible 

_Queen Red:_ i like how you three came to diss Richie 

_Queen Red:_ were your Reddie Senses tingling? 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes 

_Big Billiam:_ they never stop tingling 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ they really don't stop 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's a constant thing 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ and i wish it wasn't 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's starting to bother me 

_Queen Red:_ omgjsjdjdjdjdj

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He's not wrong 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ My death wish has gotten stronger because of my Reddie Senses 

_Mikey Moo:_ my Reddie Senses bothers me most of the time 

_Mikey Moo:_ but there are few times when it's worth having them 

_Big Billiam:_ few times is a bit much 

_Big Billiam:_ it's like almost never worth it 

_Queen Red:_ don't be mean

_Queen Red:_ i know you think it's worth it sometimes 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I agree with Bill 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Name one time that it's been worth it 

_Queen Red:_ omg 

_Queen Red:_ i hate you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's okay 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I know you can't name a time

_Trashmouth:_ what the fuck is going on?? 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck if i know 

—

**Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - R+E**

—

_Big Billiam:_ this 

_Big Billiam:_ this is why it's never worth it 

_Mikey Moo:_ he only speaks the truth 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yup,,,

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Exactly

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If they weren't this fucking stupid then it would be cute at times 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ But they're like That 

_Queen Red:_ be nice!! 

_Queen Red:_ they just need some help! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ normally i would agree

_Benjamin Franklin:_ but i think they're too dense to even understand what help we give them 

_Big Billiam:_ it's true 

_Big Billiam:_ the denseness they have is just,,,too much 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The only thing we can really do is suffer through it and hope for the best 

_Mikey Moo:_ unfortunately so 

_Queen Red:_ y'all are USELESS AND ANNOYING 

_Queen Red:_ i'll just do it myself 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good luck with that 

_Queen Red:_ i don't want your luck 

_Queen Red:_ dumb hoe 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fine 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Rude 

_Queen Red:_ this just proves that i'm the number one Reddie shipper

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hold the fucking phone 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No you are not 

_Queen Red:_ i'm the only one who is going to help them get together

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm helping now then 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck you

_Queen Red:_ HA 

_Mikey Moo:_ i've never seen two people this passionate about a ship before 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm kind of scared 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ this is only going to end horribly 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah but oh well 

_Mikey Moo:_ this is their doing 

_Big Billiam:_ yup 

_Queen Red:_ shut up you non believers

_Big Billiam:_ i'm- 

_Mikey Moo:_ i feel threatened 

_Queen Red:_ good 

_Mikey Moo:_ ma'am- 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ well

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's been fun 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ but i don't want to be bullied

_Queen Red:_ Ben 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yes? 

_Queen Red:_ your attitude has been quite bad lately 

_Queen Red:_ don't make me kill you 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg no 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ don't kill me 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i'm sorry :(( 

_Queen Red:_ WAIT DON'T BE SAD 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ JSJDJD I'M NOT IT'S OKAY 

_Queen Red:_ GOOD WDJDKSJSK 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Spaghetti:_ update 

_Spaghetti:_ i unstupided myself 

_Spaghetti:_ and figured out what you're talking about 

_Spaghetti:_ and it needs to not be talked about 

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry but what the fuck does unstupided mean??? 

_Spaghetti:_ it's a word 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck off 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's not a word 

_Spaghetti:_ i didn't ask you Stan 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Tone down the attitude 

_Spaghetti:_ you're not my dad 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ And I'm glad for that 

_Spaghetti:_ i- 

_Trashmouth:_ unstupided 

_Spaghetti:_ shut the fuck uP 

_Trashmouth:_ i will if you tell me what they were talking about 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If you say a goddamn word to him

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will skin you Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ jesus christ fine 

_Spaghetti:_ i won't 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good 

_Trashmouth:_ that's not fair wtf 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up 

_Trashmouth:_ not unless you tell me 

_Big Billiam:_ it's not that hard to figure out 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yeah 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ just think 

_Mikey Moo:_ he doesn't know how to think 

_Trashmouth:_ i want to be offended 

_Trashmouth:_ but you aren't wrong 

_Queen Red:_ idiots 

_Queen Red:_ the lot of you 

_Trashmouth:_ it's my mom's fault 

_Trashmouth:_ she only gave me two brain cells

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You don't have two 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's more like half of one 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you

_Queen Red:_ fuck Eddie***

_Spaghetti:_ NO 

_Trashmouth:_ wait

_Trashmouth:_ Richie + Eddie = Reddie

_Big Billiam:_ he did it omg 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm almost impressed 

_Trashmouth:_ :) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I said almost 

_Trashmouth:_ :( 

_Spaghetti:_ please no 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't like this ship 

_Queen Red:_ pfff okay 

_Spaghetti:_ stop 

_Queen Red:_ i did nothing 

_Spaghetti:_ s t o P 

_Mikey Moo:_ biggest lie ever is now ‘i don't like this ship’ 

_Big Billiam:_ a fact 

_Spaghetti:_ s T o P

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm leaving 

_Big Billiam:_ dramatic gremlin 

_Spaghetti:_ you did not just say that 

_Big Billiam:_ i did 

_Big Billiam:_ what will you do ? 

_Spaghetti:_ kill you 

_Big Billiam:_ i don't think you're tall enough to kill me

_Spaghetti:_ BITCH 

_Trashmouth:_ those are my insults wtf 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm sorry but they had to be stolen 

_Trashmouth:_ okay but just this once 

_Big Billiam:_ of course 

_Spaghetti:_ i will fucking murder both of you 

_Trashmouth:_ do it 

_Trashmouth:_ you won't 

_Trashmouth:_ coward 

_Spaghetti:_ i’m not a coward 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ sure thing Eds 

_Spaghetti:_ i swear to god

_Trashmouth:_ the disrespect you show god hurts me 

_Spaghetti:_ as if you don't disrespect god 

_Trashmouth:_ bitch i don't

_Spaghetti:_ your existence disrespects god so,,,

_Mikey Moo:_ killing myself 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me too 

_Big Billiam:_ let's do it together

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Big Billiam:_ you aren't invited 

_Big Billiam:_ not after how you treated us 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah

_Mikey Moo:_ you don't deserve to die with us 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I second those statements 

_Queen Red:_ fuck all of you 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ we can die together Bev 

_Queen Red:_ :) i love you 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i love you too :) 

_Big Billiam:_ Ben's a traitor

_Benjamin Franklin:_ sorry :/ 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're not 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you're right 

_Mikey Moo:_ wow 

_Mikey Moo:_ to think i thought we had something special

_Queen Red:_ nah he's mine >:) 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah sorry Mike

_Trashmouth:_ but Benverly >>>> 

_Queen Red:_ omg 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg 

_Spaghetti:_ they're in sync 

_Trashmouth:_ soulmate energy 

_Queen Red:_ JEJDJD 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The first and only time I will agree with Richie

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He's right

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Soulmates

_Trashmouth:_ :D 

_Mikey Moo:_ honestly yes 

_Big Billiam:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ don't make me throw myself into the quarry 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i feel a little violated by this conversation

_Trashmouth:_ We should stop 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't want my boy Benny Frank to feel violated

_Queen Red:_ love how you ignore me 

_Trashmouth:_ Ben's more important

_Benjamin Franklin:_ sjdjdjdj stop omg 

_Trashmouth:_ i can't stop the facts 

_Mikey Moo:_ wait 

_Mikey Moo:_ we should meet up at the quarry one day 

_Mikey Moo:_ as like our first meeting in person 

_Big Billiam:_ !!!yes!!!

_Spaghetti:_ we should ! 

_Queen Red:_ YES 

_Trashmouth:_ MICYCLE YOU'RE A GENIUS 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i support this! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Okay :) 

_Mikey Moo:_ it's settled then! 

_Mikey Moo:_ when should we do it? 

_Trashmouth:_ we should do it august 1st 

_Queen Red:_ that's so far away though 

_Trashmouth:_ that'll make it more exciting though 

_Queen Red:_ that's true 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Strangely I agree with this 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It'll give us something to look forward to 

_Trashmouth:_ exactly 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm for this ! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ me too! 

_Spaghetti:_ i am too! 

_Big Billiam:_ yes! 

_Queen Red:_ the first of august then :) 

_Trashmouth:_ until then my children 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Kinda weird that you're dating one of your children 

_Spaghetti:_ oh fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ is Stan still the number one Reddie shipper? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Clearly 

_Queen Red:_ IT NEVER WAS STAN AND IT NEVER WILL BE 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S ALWAYS ME 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'LL MURDER YOU

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I SWEAR 

_Spaghetti:_ THIS ISN'T SOMETHING TO FIGHT OVER SEEING AS REDDIE WON'T HAPPEN 

_Trashmouth:_ that's what you think ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Spaghetti:_ it's what i know 

_Trashmouth:_ you won't be able to resist my charms in person Eds ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ i can promise you i will be able to

_Big Billiam:_ please make my Reddie Senses stop 

_Big Billiam:_ i can't handle it 

_Mikey Moo:_ #stopthereddiesenses 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ #stopthereddiesenses 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ #Stopthereddiesenses 

_Big Billiam:_ #stopthereddiesenses 

_Queen Red:_ honestly,,, 

_Trashmouth:_ Beverly no 

_Queen Red:_ ,,, 

_Trashmouth:_ BEVERLY 

_Trashmouth:_ I SAID NO 

_Queen Red:_ ,,, 

_Queen Red:_ #stopthereddiesenses 

_Trashmouth:_ WOW 

_Queen Red:_ I'M NOT SORRY 

_Trashmouth:_ I KNOW YOU AREN'T

_Queen Red:_ AT LEAST YOU KNOW 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm crying now 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Pathetic 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up i know 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ At least you know 

_Trashmouth:_ :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have some actual plot now! they have a meeting date! it's not for a long time, but still. it'll be great:) 
> 
> also like,,,do y'all understand how annoying the Reddie Senses are to have? that shit isn't fun. Stan's over it and so are like all of the Losers lmfao. Bev is trying, but god. there's only so much one can take. and like Benverly!!! we love some cute january embers babiesss. 
> 
> but i'm proud of this chapter. it's crack and gay and just nice. it feeds my soul. i hope it also feeds your souls. you all deserve a full soul fjdskfasdlfd. 
> 
> i'm lowkey out of it please ignore me. 
> 
> buttttt, leave a like or comment if you would! <3 :)


	12. gazebos and hell brews

**July 8th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Good Looking Losers**

—

_Spaghetti:_ wanna hear a funny story? 

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm intrigued 

_Trashmouth:_ do continue 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Spaghetti:_ it involves me being a literal fucking idiot 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Then yes 

_Queen Red:_ lmfao you're mean 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Thanks :) 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm always in the mood to hear a funny story

_Big Billiam:_ wkdjjdd sure 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yes! 

_Spaghetti:_ alright so 

_Spaghetti:_ i used to be so stupid 

_Trashmouth:_ used to be? 

_Spaghetti:_ shut the fuck up and let me talk 

_Trashmouth:_ damn okay 

_Spaghetti:_ anyWAY

_Spaghetti:_ i used to take placebos cause my mom's a freak 

_Spaghetti:_ and i didn't know that they were placebos 

_Spaghetti:_ i didn't know what it meant or that it was even a word

_Spaghetti:_ until i went to pick up my medicine once 

_Spaghetti:_ the girl there told me that they were placebos 

_Spaghetti:_ and i was like ‘the fuck does that mean??’

_Spaghetti:_ and she was like ‘it means they're fake. they're bullshit’ 

_Spaghetti:_ and i was like ‘omfg wh at’ 

_Spaghetti:_ so later that day 

_Mikey Moo:_ ...kinda scared as to where this is going

_Spaghetti:_ it's funny i promise 

_Mikey Moo:_ if you say sooo 

_Spaghetti:_ i do say so 

_Spaghetti:_ anyway 

_Spaghetti:_ i was at home and i wanted to go out but my mom was all like 

_Spaghetti:_ ‘no eddie! you're sick and you need to get better! just take the medicine and go upstairs!’

_Spaghetti:_ and i got salty cause i just wanted to be a thirteen year old child and she wasn't letting me 

_Spaghetti:_ so i was all like ‘what sickness mom?’ and i like pissed on her 

_Spaghetti:_ and then she said ‘eddie please just take the medicine and stop’ 

_Spaghetti:_ and then 

_Spaghetti:_ are you ready for this? 

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ tell me 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm like,,,scared 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ honestly same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm preparing to have to walk away from this chat 

_Spaghetti:_ you really should be prepared for that 

_Spaghetti:_ this wasn't my proudest moment

_Mikey Moo:_ oh no

_Spaghetti:_ :,) 

_Mikey Moo:_ o h n o 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm so ready for this 

_Trashmouth:_ please tell me 

_Spaghetti:_ sjdjdjdjd okay so 

_Spaghetti:_ she said that and i got REAL mad 

_Spaghetti:_ so i took the pill bottle from her 

_Spaghetti:_ looked her dead in the eye 

_Spaghetti:_ and then threw the pill bottle on the ground as i said 

_Spaghetti:_ ‘they’re GAZEBOS. they're BULLSHIT’ 

_Queen Red:_ SKNDJEJDJED OH MY GOD 

_Queen Red:_ THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M FUCKING CRYING 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU'RE AN IDIOT 

_Big Billiam:_ JASNJSSJS EDDIE WHAT THE FUCK 

_Mikey Moo:_ I'M LITERALLY WHEEZING 

_Mikey Moo:_ HOLY SHIT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh yeah 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm definitely walking away 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I CANNOT BREATHE WKDHDJDJ 

_Spaghetti:_ I TOLD YOU IT WAS FUNNY 

_Queen Red:_ I WASN'T EXPECTING IT TO BE T H A T FUNNY 

_Queen Red:_ I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE 

_Spaghetti:_ KSDJJD WHAT CAN I SAY 

_Spaghetti:_ MY STUPIDITY IS THE ONLY THING ABOUT ME THAT MAKES PEOPLE LAUGH

_Trashmouth:_ I'M SORRY CAN I JUST-

**Trashmouth changed the chat name to Gazebos Are Bullshit**

_Spaghetti:_ KSNSJDJ NO OMG 

_Spaghetti:_ DON'T DO ME LIKE THAT 

_Trashmouth:_ OH I'M DOING YOU LIKE THAT 

_Queen Red:_ that's kinda kinky 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Spaghetti:_ don't fucking start this 

_Spaghetti:_ go back to laughing at my stupidity 

_Queen Red:_ it's not my fault my Reddie Senses went off

_Queen Red:_ i can't just ignore it 

_Spaghetti:_ yes you can 

_Mikey Moo:_ actually we can't 

_Big Billiam:_ yeah 

_Big Billiam:_ if i could ignore it i would 

_Big Billiam:_ trust me 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ that's true 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's genuinely impossible to ignore it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm back and here to say that we cannot ignore our Reddie Senses 

_Queen Red:_ see 

_Queen Red:_ Stan's Reddie Senses went off and he's here now 

_Queen Red:_ if he could ignore them 

_Queen Red:_ he wouldn't have come back 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ A fact 

_Trashmouth:_ sometimes i don't know if you guys ship us or if you're just here to hate on us 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ 99% of the time I'm here just to hate on you 

_Trashmouth:_ i figured as much 

_Queen Red:_ it's a mix of both 

_Trashmouth:_ i expected more from you 

_Queen Red:_ whoops 

_Trashmouth:_ :/ 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i ship you guys! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ there's only like 1% of the time where i hate on you 

_Trashmouth:_ i'll accept that answer 

_Trashmouth:_ we can be annoying at times so 

_Big Billiam:_ mostly here to hate on you 

_Trashmouth:_ i knew that 

_Mikey Moo:_ it's a mix for me 

_Trashmouth:_ wow okay 

_Mikey Moo:_ sorry but you're annoying 

_Spaghetti:_ why is this conversation happening ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ because i wanted to know 

_Spaghetti:_ bitch i don't care 

_Spaghetti:_ your wants are unnecessary 

_Queen Red:_ but one of his wants is to kiss you 

_Trashmouth:_ not this again 

_Queen Red:_ i'm never letting it go 

_Spaghetti:_ if you mention the k word to me ever again 

_Spaghetti:_ i will beat your ass 

_Queen Red:_ i'm sorry but someone who called placebos gazebos doesn't seem like the type of person that could beat me in a fight 

_Spaghetti:_ li st en 

_Spaghetti:_ we have established that i'm fucking dumb 

_Spaghetti:_ but just because i'm fucking dumb doesn't mean that i would lose a fight 

_Queen Red:_ you have to be smart to win a fight 

_Spaghetti:_ false

_Queen Red:_ bitch it's not false 

_Spaghetti:_ yes it is 

_Queen Red:_ hoW?? 

_Spaghetti:_ well since i'm shorter than you 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm closer to satan 

_Spaghetti:_ therefore i have the power of satan on my side 

_Queen Red:_ i honestly can't even argue with that logic 

_Big Billiam:_ okay but it's true 

_Big Billiam:_ Eddie's fucking feral 

_Big Billiam:_ and being close with satan is the best explanation 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah like 

_Mikey Moo:_ there isn't even any other explanation that makes sense 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i agree but i'm also a little scared 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ Eddie don't like 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ possess one of us 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not satan himself

_Spaghetti:_ i can't do shit he can 

_Spaghetti:_ i just have like 83% of his anger 

_Trashmouth:_ why 83% 

_Spaghetti:_ well i don't have 100% of his anger 

_Trashmouth:_ you sure about that? 

_Spaghetti:_ the fuck are you trying to say

_Trashmouth:_ that you're as angry as satan 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm fucking not 

_Spaghetti:_ fight me bitch 

_Trashmouth:_ i think those replies back me up 

_Queen Red:_ yeah dude 

_Queen Red:_ you have a lot of aggression 

_Queen Red:_ you might even be angrier than satan 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ What the fuck is going on 

_Mikey Moo:_ Eddie is close to satan because he's short and we have established that he's angrier than satan 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm NOT angrier than satan 

_Queen Red:_ fine 

_Queen Red:_ he's more feral than satan 

_Spaghetti:_ i'll accept that 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I don't even know how to respond 

_Big Billiam:_ wait Eddie 

_Spaghetti:_ what 

_Big Billiam:_ are you and satan friends 

_Big Billiam:_ like do you guys sit and talk and like drink tea together or some shit 

_Spaghetti:_ do i

_Spaghetti:_ w h a t 

_Big Billiam:_ d r i n k t e a w i t h s a t a n 

_Spaghetti:_ w h y 

_Big Billiam:_ b e c a u s e i n e e d t o k n o w 

_Spaghetti:_ w h a t t h e f u c k 

_Big Billiam:_ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_Queen Red:_ great 

_Queen Red:_ now i'm imagining Eddie just sitting with satan sipping tea 

_Trashmouth:_ he probably has 

_Trashmouth:_ they're totally like best friends 

_Mikey Moo:_ i can see it 

_Mikey Moo:_ they probably gossip and shit 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ who makes the tea? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Satan 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Eddie would set something on fire if he tried 

_Queen Red:_ true 

_Queen Red:_ what kind of tea? 

_Mikey Moo:_ some weird hell brew 

_Big Billiam:_ ‘some weird hell brew’ 

_Mikey Moo:_ tell me i'm wrong 

_Big Billiam:_ i can't 

_Queen Red:_ that's it 

_Queen Red:_ it's name is ‘hell brew’ 

_Queen Red:_ and it has like the souls of the innocent in it 

_Trashmouth:_ THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT 

_Queen Red:_ TELL ME I'M WRONG 

_Trashmouth:_ I C A N T 

_Queen Red:_ E X A C T L Y 

_Spaghetti:_ i can assure you that none of this is accurate 

_Trashmouth:_ denying it won't help you 

_Trashmouth:_ we know about your secrets 

_Spaghetti:_ oh my god 

_Spaghetti:_ you all have lost your minds 

_Big Billiam:_ says the guy who drinks hell brews with satan and calls placebos gazebos

_Spaghetti:_ stop violating me like this 

_Trashmouth:_ i can violate you in ways that you'll like ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ don't make me hand you over to satan 

_Trashmouth:_ maybe HE will accept my advances 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm 100% sure he'd kill you on the spot 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah 

_Mikey Moo:_ satan doesn't mess around 

_Trashmouth:_ he's probably a kink god 

_Big Billiam:_ going to pretend you never said that 

_Trashmouth:_ why

_Trashmouth:_ you aren't kinky? 

_Big Billiam:_ stOp 

_Queen Red:_ i think the word kinky scares Bill 

_Big Billiam:_ i will LEAVE 

_Mikey Moo:_ he's totally scared of the word kinky 

_Big Billiam:_ that's it 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm leaving 

_Big Billiam:_ goodbye 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you guys scared him away!! 

_Trashmouth:_ not my fault he can't handle the kink like a man 

_Queen Red:_ Richie you can't handle it either 

_Trashmouth:_ excuse me ?? 

_Queen Red:_ you're all talk 

_Trashmouth:_ not true 

_Queen Red:_ so if Eddie came up to you 

_Spaghetti:_ DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS 

_Spaghetti:_ KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOUR KINKS 

_Queen Red:_ but he's gay for you 

_Queen Red:_ it’d be weird to have him imagine it with someone he's not gay for 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm leaving 

_Spaghetti:_ Bill had the right idea 

_Mikey Moo:_ Eddie can't handle the kink either 

_Spaghetti:_ oh i can 

_Spaghetti:_ i just don't like the Reddie 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Dissing your own ship like a coward 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm not a coward 

_Spaghetti:_ you are 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't see YOU drinking hell brews with satan 

_Trashmouth:_ HE ADMITTED IT 

_Queen Red:_ OH MY G O D 

_Mikey Moo:_ I FUCKING KNEW IT 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ YOU LIED TO US EARLIER 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fucking BUSTED 

_Spaghetti:_ :// 

Queen Red: hold on 

_Queen Red:_ does satan know about the gazebo story ? 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ why ?? 

_Spaghetti:_ because it's not a good story 

_Mikey Moo:_ that is false 

_Mikey Moo:_ that story made my life 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm sure satan would say the same thing 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't think i could handle satan making fun of me about that 

_Trashmouth:_ a coward 

_Trashmouth:_ i'd let satan do anything to me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Can you fucking stop for ONE second ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ sorry but no 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm a hoe 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Disgusting 

_Mikey Moo:_ Richie have you ever even had sex ? 

_Trashmouth:_ yes 

_Spaghetti:_ lmfao that's such a lie 

_Spaghetti:_ no one would want to fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you Eds

_Trashmouth:_ everyone wants to fuck me 

_Queen Red:_ dude you're totally a virgin 

_Trashmouth:_ no i'm not shut up 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes you are 

_Trashmouth:_ STOP ATTACKING ME ABOUT THIS 

_Spaghetti:_ only a virgin would say that 

_Trashmouth:_ ST OP 

_Mikey Moo:_ it's okay 

_Mikey Moo:_ we can be virgin buddies 

_Queen Red:_ we all can be virgin buddies 

_Queen Red:_ cause no one here has been fucked and that's a fact 

_Spaghetti:_ well yeah

_Spaghetti:_ do you know how unsanitary that is ??

_Trashmouth:_ you're a loser 

_Trashmouth:_ who even says that?? 

_Queen Red:_ leave my little hypochondriac alone 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ nO 

_Queen Red:_ yES 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fight about Eddie elsewhere

_Spaghetti:_ yes please 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you 

_Trashmouth:_ you wish 

_Spaghetti:_ thot 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck OFF 

_Spaghetti:_ HA 

_Big Billiam:_ ,,,did i come back at a bad time? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yes 

_Big Billiam:_ well then 

_Trashmouth:_ welcome to the virgins club Billiam 

_Big Billiam:_ I KNEW YOU WERE A VIRGIN 

_Trashmouth:_ WOW WHAT THE FUCK 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We all knew 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You weren't fooling anyone 

_Queen Red:_ i think we should- 

**Queen Red changed the chat name to Richie Is A Virgin**

_Trashmouth:_ NO 

_Queen Red:_ JUST LET IT HAPPEN 

_Trashmouth:_ NO 

_Queen Red:_ HOW ABOUT THIS 

**Queen Red changed the chat name to The Virgins Club**

_Trashmouth:_ i accept this one 

_Queen Red:_ good 

_Spaghetti:_ relieved that the chat name didn't stay ‘gazebos are bullshit’ 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You'll still get made fun of for it 

_Spaghetti:_ sigh 

_Spaghetti:_ i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this one being kinda short, but i've been suuuuper busy and i just wanted to get something up for you guys. but at least it was funny, right? lmao i hope so. most of this is me at like fucking midnight making random shit up. 
> 
> we stan Eddie being a dumb bitch who gossips with satan, though. like god. he's so powerful. Richie is really in love. 
> 
> also, just, gazebos. and, just, the virgins club. what chaotic children they are. 
> 
> anyway, leave a like or comment if you would! they're always appreciated!


	13. music(als) = god’s work

**July 9th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Virgins Club**

—

_Queen Red:_ sometimes i just listen to a musical and cry 

_Spaghetti:_ same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ What musical? 

_Queen Red:_ Hamilton 

_Queen Red:_ and Dear Evan Hansen 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow you actually have a good taste

_Queen Red:_ hell yeah i do 

_Spaghetti:_ if you like Jefferson then you don't have good taste 

_Queen Red:_ honestly yeah 

_Queen Red:_ he's kind of a thot 

_Big Billiam:_ did you just call Thomas Jefferson a thot ??? 

_Queen Red:_ yes i fucking did 

_Mikey Moo:_ is she wrong though? 

_Big Billiam:_ not really 

_Big Billiam:_ but Hammy is a thot too 

_Spaghetti:_ FACTS 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The founding fathers are really out here being thots 

_Spaghetti:_ a shame 

_Queen Red:_ okay but 

_Queen Red:_ the only not thot in that musical is Lafayette 

_Big Billiam:_ truth 

_Big Billiam:_ the squad minus Alex is not thot 

_Mikey Moo:_ true 

_Queen Red:_ but of course 

_Queen Red:_ Laurens and Hercules are best boys 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Can't forget about everyone's favorite poet 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ I LOVE PHILIP SO MUCH 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Y E S 

_Queen Red:_ look at Stan fanboying 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut the fuck up 

_Mikey Moo:_ okay but 

_Mikey Moo:_ Eddie is Alex 

_Mikey Moo:_ and Richie is Jefferson 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S TRUE 

_Spaghetti:_ i want to disagree 

_Spaghetti:_ but i can't 

_Trashmouth:_ woah woah 

_Trashmouth:_ don't fucking say i'm Jefferson 

_Trashmouth:_ that man is a fucking HORRID human 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ do we all just hate Jefferson? 

_Spaghetti:_ yes 

_Trashmouth:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Big Billiam:_ yes 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ lmao wow 

_Queen Red:_ waitwait

_Queen Red:_ Hamliza or Hamgelica?

_Spaghetti:_ i'm a diehard Hamliza fan 

_Queen Red:_ good boy 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hamliza 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm not uncultured 

_Big Billiam:_ Hamliza 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ Hamliza 

_Mikey Moo:_ i like both 

_Queen Red:_ HEATHEN 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah 

_Trashmouth:_ both 

_Queen Red:_ TWO HEATHENS 

_Queen Red:_ actually i support you 

_Queen Red:_ i just get all soft about Eliza 

_Queen Red:_ her and Alex are my PARENTS 

_Big Billiam:_ hey 

_Big Billiam:_ remember when Alex killed his kid ? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ DON'T remind me 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck 

_Spaghetti:_ i miss Philip 

_Mikey Moo:_ god same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Who DOESN'T miss him? 

_Queen Red:_ no one 

_Big Billiam:_ you know who else i miss ? 

_Spaghetti:_ who ? 

_Big Billiam:_ Connor fucking Murphy 

_Queen Red:_ G O D S A M E 

_Spaghetti:_ i don't know what you mean 

_Spaghetti:_ he's alive and well 

_Spaghetti:_ he lives with his lovely boyfriend Evan 

_Spaghetti:_ and they have a gray cat named Shadow 

_Spaghetti:_ and they're at the point of getting a saint bernard and naming it Bailey 

_Mikey Moo:_ me too Eddie 

_Trashmouth:_ and don't forget the fact that they had to basically adopt Jared because he can't be fucking trusted 

_Queen Red:_ it's funny that Richie mentions Jared 

_Queen Red:_ cause they're like the same person 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ They fucking are 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh my God 

_Trashmouth:_ just call me the insanely cool Richie Tozier ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ definite ‘insanely cool’

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds 

_Trashmouth:_ i will fight you 

_Spaghetti:_ do it 

_Spaghetti:_ you won't 

_Trashmouth:_ i WILL 

_Spaghetti:_ mhmm 

_Trashmouth:_ bitcH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ pls stop flirting 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yeah 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Spare us 

_Spaghetti:_ OH FUCKING FUCK OFF 

_Trashmouth:_ let me and bf live in peace 

_Spaghetti:_ EXCUSE ME WHAT 

_Trashmouth:_ he gets mad when i call him my bf 

_Trashmouth:_ he's just a little embarrassed 

_Spaghetti:_ WHAT???? 

_Queen Red:_ what the fuck- 

_Big Billiam:_ someone take my eyes 

_Mikey Moo:_ wow mood 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate this 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm going to sing sincerely me away from you rude ass bitches 

_Queen Red:_ WAIT NO 

_Queen Red:_ LEMME SING WITH YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ FINE 

_Queen Red:_ FUCK YES 

_Queen Red:_ I'M CONNOR 

_Spaghetti:_ OKAY LMAO 

_Spaghetti:_ RICHIE BE JARED 

_Trashmouth:_ Y ES OKAY 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh boy 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The three most obnoxious people are performing for us 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yay!! 

_Mikey Moo:_ yay-ish 

_Big Billiam:_ this better impress me 

_Queen Red:_ it will shut up 

_Queen Red:_ OKAY LET'S GO 

_Queen Red:_ DEAR EVAN HANSEN WE'VE BEEN WAY TOO OUT OF TOUCH 

_Queen Red:_ THINGS HAVE BEEN CRAZY AND IT SUCKS THAT WE DON'T TALK THAT MUCH 

_Queen Red:_ BUT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT I THINK OF YOU EACH NIGHT

_Queen Red:_ I RUB MY NIPPLES AND START MOANING WITH DELIGHT 

_Spaghetti:_ WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL THE TRUTH 

_Spaghetti:_ THIS NEEDS TO BE PERFECT 

_Spaghetti:_ THESE EMAILS HAVE TO PROVE THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY FRIENDS 

_Spaghetti:_ JUST- I'LL DO IT 

_Queen Red:_ I GOTTA TELL YOU LIFE WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN HARD 

_Trashmouth:_ hArD

_Queen Red:_ HAS BEEN BAD 

_Trashmouth:_ bAd 

_Queen Red:_ HAS BEEN ROUGH 

_Trashmouth:_ kInKy 

_Queen Red:_ AND I MISS TALKING ABOUT LIFE AND OTHER STUFF 

_Trashmouth:_ VERY SPECIFIC 

_Spaghetti:_ SHUT UP 

_Queen Red:_ I LIKE MY PARENTS 

_Trashmouth:_ WHO SAYS THAT?? 

_Queen Red:_ I LOVE MY PARENTS BUT EACH DAY'S ANOTHER FIGHT 

_Queen Red:_ IF I STOP SMOKING DRUGS THEN EVERYTHING MIGHT BE ALRIGHT 

_Trashmouth:_ SMOKING DRUGS?? 

_Spaghetti:_ JUST FIX IT 

_Queen Red:_ IF I STOP SMOKING CRACK 

_Spaghetti:_ CRACK?! 

_Queen Red:_ IF I STOP SMOKING POT THEN EVERYTHING MIGHT BE ALRIGHT 

_Queen Red:_ I'LL TAKE YOUR ADVICE 

_Queen Red:_ I'LL TRY TO BE MORE NICE 

_Queen Red:_ I'LL TURN IT AROUND 

_Queen Red:_ WAIT AND SEEEEE 

_Queen Red:_ CAUSE ALL THAT IT TAKES IS A LITTLE REINVENTION 

_Spaghetti:_ IT'S EASY TO CHANGE IF YOU GIVE IT YOUR ATTENTION 

_Trashmouth:_ ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS JUST BELIEVE YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANNA BE 

_Queen Red:_ SINCERELY ME 

_Queen Red:_ yeah i'm done 

_Spaghetti:_ lmao mood 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm too lazy 

_Trashmouth:_ wow same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I like how you all just 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Give up 

_Queen Red:_ shut up my thumbs hurts 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Loser 

_Queen Red:_ you fucking do it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Nah 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I think I'll throw away my shot 

_Spaghetti:_ STANAISJSJDJ 

_Trashmouth:_ THAT WAS GOOD 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ wait 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ don't give up! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it was going good! 

_Queen Red:_ well fuck 

_Queen Red:_ i can't say no to that

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Queen Red:_ fuck off 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie 

_Queen Red:_ wanna continue? 

_Spaghetti:_ sigh 

_Spaghetti:_ i will for Ben 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ :) 

_Spaghetti:_ Richie get your ass back here 

_Trashmouth:_ well shit okay 

_Trashmouth:_ ARE WE DONE YET? 

_Spaghetti:_ WELL I CAN JUST GIVE THEM ONE EMAIL 

_Spaghetti:_ I WANNA SHOW THAT I WAS LIKE A GOOD FRIEND YOU KNOW 

_Trashmouth:_ OH MY G O D 

_Spaghetti:_ DEAR CONNOR MURPHY YES I ALSO MISS OUR TALKS 

_Spaghetti:_ STOP DOING DRUGS 

_Spaghetti:_ JUST TRY TO TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND GO ON WALKS 

_Trashmouth:_ NO 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M SENDING PICTURES OF THE MOST AMAZING TREES

_Trashmouth:_ NO 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'LL BE OBSESSED WITH ALL MY FORREST EXPERTISE 

_Trashmouth:_ ABSOLUTELY NOT 

_Spaghetti:_ DUDE I'M PROUD OF YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ JUST KEEP PUSHING THROUGH 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE TURNING AROUND 

_Spaghetti:_ I CAN SEEEE

_Queen Red:_ JUST WAIT AND SEEEEE

_Queen Red:_ CAUSE ALL THAT IT TAKES IS A LITTLE REINVENTION

_Spaghetti:_ IT'S EASY TO CHANGE IF YOU GIVE IT YOUR ATTENTION 

_Trashmouth:_ ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS JUST BELIEVE YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANNA BE 

_Spaghetti:_ SINCERELY ME 

_Queen Red:_ MY SISTER'S HOT 

_Spaghetti:_ WHAT THE HELL 

_Trashmouth:_ MY BAD

_Queen Red:_ DEAR EVAN HANSEN THANKS FOR EVERY NOTE YOU SEND 

_Spaghetti:_ DEAR CONNOR MURPHY I'M JUST GLAD TO BE YOUR FRIEND 

_Spaghetti:_ OUR FRIENDSHIP GOES BEYOND 

_Queen Red:_ YOUR AVERAGE KIND OF BOND 

_Spaghetti:_ BUT NOT BECAUSE WE'RE GAY 

_Queen Red:_ NO NOT BECAUSE WE'RE GAY 

_Spaghetti:_ WE'RE CLOSE

_Queen Red:_ BUT NOT THAT WAY 

_Spaghetti:_ THE ONLY MAN THAT I LOVE 

_Queen Red:_ IS MY DAD 

_Queen Red:_ WELL ANYWAY 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY 

_Queen Red:_ I'M GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE GETTING BETTER 

_Queen Red:_ EVERYDAAAAAYY 

_Spaghetti:_ HEYHEY 

_Queen Red:_ HEYHEY 

_Spaghetti:_ CAUSE ALL THAT IT TAKES IS A LITTLE REINVENTION 

_Queen Red:_ IT'S EASY TO CHANGE IF YOU GIVE IT YOUR ATTENTION 

_Trashmouth:_ ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS JUST BELIEVE YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANNA BE 

_Spaghetti:_ SINCERELY 

_Queen Red:_ MISS YOU DEARLY 

_Spaghetti:_ SINCERELY ME 

_Queen Red:_ SINCERELY ME 

_Spaghetti:_ SINCERELY MEEEEEEEE 

_Queen Red:_ SINCERELY 

_Queen Red:_ M E 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ 10/10 ! 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Kinda impressed 

_Spaghetti:_ bullshit 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Lmao yeah 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I could do that with my eyes closed 

_Queen Red:_ if Stan ever complimented me for real 

_Queen Red:_ i’d cry 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It'll never happen 

_Queen Red:_ oh i know 

_Trashmouth:_ Staniel is ungrateful 

_Trashmouth:_ and i do NOT appreciate it 

_Mikey Moo:_ he'll never be grateful 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ True 

_Trashmouth:_ but,,,i saved every letter you wrote me,,, 

_Queen Red:_ KSNDJD STOP LMFAO 

_Trashmouth:_ from the moment i read them,,,i knew you were mine,,,i thought you were mineeeee

_Big Billiam:_ JEJDJD I'M- 

_Mikey Moo:_ RICHIE I- 

_Spaghetti:_ KEDNDJD I'M DEAD 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ So is literally everyone in Hamilton 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ wow- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ And so is,,,

_Spaghetti:_ don't fucking say it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ So is,,,,

_Spaghetti:_ STANIEL ISTG 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ SO IS CONNOR 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE 

_Big Billiam:_ sometimes you all concern me 

_Mikey Moo:_ sometimes? 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Big Billiam:_ all the time 

_Big Billiam:_ like there has not been one time when i was genuinely not concerned 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i mean same 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ but we can't do anything

_Benjamin Franklin:_ they are feral children 

_Big Billiam:_ fucking unfortunately

_Big Billiam:_ makes me never wanna have kids 

_Queen Red:_ FUCK YOU I'M GREAT 

_Trashmouth:_ YEAH WHAT THE FUCK 

_Trashmouth:_ WE'RE BLESSINGS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

_Big Billiam:_ definite ‘blessings’ 

_Trashmouth:_ BITE ME 

_Big Billiam:_ that's Eddie's job 

_Spaghetti:_ FUCKING STOPSJDNDND

_Queen Red:_ i will never get tired of Eddie pouting about Reddie

_Staniel The Maniel:_ God same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's so fucking funny 

_Spaghetti:_ >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ you should see him pout in other situations ;) 

_Spaghetti:_ RICHIE SHUT U P 

_Big Billiam:_ my homophobic side against Richie and Eddie is coming out again 

_Mikey Moo:_ what a mood 

_Trashmouth:_ you're just jealous that you guys are single 

_Spaghetti:_ YOU'RE SINGLE TOO 

_Queen Red:_ someone please shut them up 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Guys 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut the FUCK up 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I want new friends 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up you love us 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Not true 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The hate I feel for you people is intense 

_Trashmouth:_ you don't hate ALL of us ;) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Stop 

_Trashmouth:_ ;))))) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ S t o p 

_Queen Red:_ i'm surrounded by useless gays 

_Mikey Moo:_ literally same 

_Queen Red:_ wanna run away with me Mike 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes omg 

_Mikey Moo:_ let's go to vermont and hide in the mountains

_Queen Red:_ fuck yes 

_Queen Red:_ we can live off musicals and junk food 

_Mikey Moo:_ yes ! 

_Queen Red:_ wait 

_Queen Red:_ what else do you listen too? 

_Mikey Moo:_ i listen to literally everything 

_Queen Red:_ SAME

_Queen Red:_ music is just >>>> 

_Mikey Moo:_ you're so right 

_Spaghetti:_ hozier is the best 

_Spaghetti:_ criticism will NOT be taken 

_Queen Red:_ YES HE IS 

_Spaghetti:_ the wombats are second best 

_Spaghetti:_ then walk the moon 

_Spaghetti:_ then catfish and the bottlemen

_Spaghetti:_ then bring me the horizon 

_Queen Red:_ EDDIE YOUR MUSIC TASTE IS GODLY 

_Queen Red:_ i give you permission to join Mike and i in vermont

_Spaghetti:_ :) 

_Trashmouth:_ Eds you don't strike me as the bmth type 

_Spaghetti:_ dude i fucking live off the album amo and that's the spirit 

_Spaghetti:_ OH WAIT 

_Spaghetti:_ WEEZER IS ALSO GREAT

_Queen Red:_ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG 

_Trashmouth:_ i can totally see you listening to weezer

_Big Billiam:_ don't forget about queen 

_Spaghetti:_ ODNDJDJD Y E S

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm genuinely surprised you have good music tastes 

_Spaghetti:_ i may be feral but i know good music when i hear it 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ the academic is good! 

_Spaghetti:_ BEN YES 

_Mikey Moo:_ dude 

_Mikey Moo:_ the amount of good music going on here is great 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I stand by what Eddie said 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hozier is the best 

_Spaghetti:_ he's fucking amazing 

_Spaghetti:_ and he's really fucking pretty 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie your gay is showing 

_Spaghetti:_ and it has the right to 

_Spaghetti:_ have you fucking seen him??? 

_Queen Red:_ yes 

_Queen Red:_ and you're right 

_Queen Red:_ he's like 1000000/10 

_Spaghetti:_ RIGHT?!?! 

_Trashmouth:_ the arctic monkeys >> 

_Spaghetti:_ FACTS 

_Spaghetti:_ FACTS 

_Spaghetti:_ FACTS 

_Trashmouth:_ and yes hozier is pretty 

_Spaghetti:_ THANK YOU 

_Big Billiam:_ Eddie’s such a fanboy 

_Spaghetti:_ YES I AM 

_Spaghetti:_ MUSIC MAKES ME VERY HAPPY OKAY 

_Queen Red:_ SAME THOUGH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ music is the best! 

_Mikey Moo:_ Ben is so pure omg 

_Mikey Moo:_ his little exclamation points 

_Queen Red:_ HE IS 

_Queen Red:_ I LOVE HIM 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ AJSJ I LOVE YOU TOO ! 

_Queen Red:_ KSNDKDJ <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ KWNEJEE <3 

_Trashmouth:_ that's cute 

_Trashmouth:_ you guys are cute 

_Trashmouth:_ Benverly clears my skin 

_Spaghetti:_ mood

_Spaghetti:_ my fav ship 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Mood 

_Mikey Moo:_ who doesn't like Benverly? 

_Big Billiam:_ people who don't deserve rights 

_Mikey Moo:_ facts 

_Queen Red:_ sjdjdjdj s to p 

_Spaghetti:_ we can't 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg you guys 

_Trashmouth:_ awww Ben don't be embarrassed 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ too late 

_Trashmouth:_ nooo!! 

_Spaghetti:_ that's the first time you've ever used !! 

_Trashmouth:_ and the last time 

_Big Billiam:_ what do you have against !! 

_Trashmouth:_ i have everything against it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ‘It’ 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just fucking use !! 

_Trashmouth:_ no 

_Trashmouth:_ it's like the k word 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ God you're such a coward 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck yOU 

_Mikey Moo:_ Stan and Richie’s interactions are how Jared and Connor would interact 

_Queen Red:_ i've never seen anything this true in my life 

_Spaghetti:_ lmao honestly though 

_Spaghetti:_ and that makes Bill Evan 

_Queen Red:_ y e s o m g 

_Big Billiam:_ stop that thought RIGHT NOW 

_Queen Red:_ nope 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Please listen to him and stop that 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ >:( 

_Big Billiam:_ >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ soulmates 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ STOP 

_Trashmouth:_ nah :) 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm leaving 

_Big Billiam:_ goodbye 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Take me with you please 

_Trashmouth:_ NOW WHO'S THE COWARD 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ FUCK YOU 

_Trashmouth:_ WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK BILL

_Big Billiam:_ S T O P 

_Trashmouth:_ N O 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK EDDIE THEN BITCH

_Spaghetti:_ DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS??? 

_Mikey Moo:_ Bev 

_Queen Red:_ Mike 

_Mikey Moo:_ i think it's safe to say that it's vermont time,,,

_Queen Red:_ i think you're right,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me projecting my music tastes onto the losers? more likely than you think :) 
> 
> okay, but like i would fucking DIE for Hozier, thank you very much. and i'd die for Dear Evan Hansen. that musical is fucking great. as is Hamilton. god, i just like musicals and music in general. afkdjfksf. wowza. 
> 
> bUT, honestly. this chapter is just. crack. like. it's so useless, but i love it. i laughed and i think that's nice that i can make myself laugh. also like, i just sang alone to sincerely me while i was writing that part because it's a GREAT song and i can't not sing it. 
> 
> we have some ship stuff in here. literally they all just make fun of each other for pining over their friends. it's fucking funny. Mike is the only one who's allowed to be genuinely annoyed. everyone else is just a dumb and in love bitch who needs to step the fuck up and ask their crush out. but that's unrealistic. they're all too dense istg. 
> 
> anwayyyydhfjd, leave a like or comment if you would! let me know how you're enjoying this so far!<3


	14. toss a coin to your gays

**July 10th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Virgins Club**

—

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Have any of you thots watched the witcher ?? 

_Trashmouth:_ yes omfg 

_Spaghetti:_ of course i have 

_Queen Red:_ duh 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm debating watching it 

_Big Billiam:_ same 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i haven't 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fucking watch it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's GODLY 

_Spaghetti:_ FACTS 

_Spaghetti:_ okay but 

_Spaghetti:_ Geralt can step on me 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel that on such a level 

_Queen Red:_ the only person Geralt will be stepping on is Jaskier 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The gay energy from them istg 

_Spaghetti:_ you're not wrong 

_Spaghetti:_ they are in love 

_Spaghetti:_ it makes me happy 

_Trashmouth:_ they could act on it if Geralt hadn't been a BITCH 

_Queen Red:_ DON'T GET ME STARTED ON T H A T 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Dude 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It hurt me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Like I had to take a walk after 

_Spaghetti:_ i sat in my bed for an hour and a half just staring at my ceiling 

_Spaghetti:_ because i was so angry and upset

_Spaghetti:_ like i was SO upset that i couldn't fall asleep

_Trashmouth:_ me too omg 

_Trashmouth:_ i lost my shit 

_Trashmouth:_ like dude he's your ONLY friend????

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Literally 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He's been with Geralt for like ever and Geralt just “yEnNeFeR lOvE mE, jAsKiEr fUcK yOu” 

_Queen Red:_ LITERALLY 

_Queen Red:_ okay i love Yen and i'm very gay for her 

_Queen Red:_ but she's fucking up my ship 

_Spaghetti:_ mOOD 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Dude it's not even her 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Geralt is fucking with his own ship 

_Trashmouth:_ that's true 

_Trashmouth:_ like he just has a shitty temper 

_Spaghetti:_ he's a grouchy old man 

_Spaghetti:_ he just needs smooches from his bard 

_Queen Red:_ he needs a lot of things from his bard

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It's true 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Like the good old suck 

_Spaghetti:_ KSNDJDNEKEJEKE 

_Trashmouth:_ THE G OOD OLD S U C K 

_Queen Red:_ I'M PISSING

_Staniel The Maniel:_ IT'S TRUE

_Staniel The Maniel:_ JASKIER TALKS A LOT

_Staniel The Maniel:_ HE NEEDS TO PUT THAT MOUTH TO BETTER USE 

_Queen Red:_ according to Geralt he needs to shut up and not put his mouth to use 

_Spaghetti:_ stop 

_Spaghetti:_ i said i'm ignoring that 

_Trashmouth:_ you can't ignore it Eds

_Spaghetti:_ i can and i will 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hey Eddie,,, 

_Spaghetti:_ quote that and i swear to god

_Spaghetti:_ i will feed you to a striga 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hey Eddie,,, 

_Spaghetti:_ Stan don't make me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ,,,

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If life could give me one blessing,,,

_Spaghetti:_ STOP 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ It would be to take you off my hands,,,

_Spaghetti:_ BITCH 

_Spaghetti:_ CAN YOU JUST LET ME LIVE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ NO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED

_Spaghetti:_ NEVER 

_Spaghetti:_ I'M CONTENT DROWNING MY SORROWS IN FANFIC 

_Queen Red:_ i'm lowkey insulted that those words were uttered in my household 

_Queen Red:_ like 

_Queen Red:_ iF lIfE cOuLd gIvE mE oNe bLeSsInG,,,iT wOuLd bE tO tAkE yOu oFf mY hAnDs 

_Queen Red:_ bitch why????? 

_Trashmouth:_ SAMEEEEEE

_Trashmouth:_ okay but i'm lowkey insulted that they never made up 

_Queen Red:_ ye a h 

_Queen Red:_ fuckin dumb thots

_Spaghetti:_ i can't wait for Ciri to make Geralt see that he's a dumb thot 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ SAME 

_Trashmouth:_ wait you know that meme 

_Trashmouth:_ where it's like 

_Trashmouth:_ “how is it being in charge of them?” 

_Trashmouth:_ “oh i'm not in charge” 

_Trashmouth:_ “then who is?” 

_Trashmouth:_ “usually whoever screams the loudest” 

_Trashmouth:_ i feel like that is just Geralt and Jaskier and Ciri and Yennefer’s way of life in their group 

_Trashmouth:_ and usually Jaskier screams the loudest but no one wants him in charge

_Trashmouth:_ so he just doesn't get a say no matter what 

_Trashmouth:_ and Geralt somehow always managed to lead even though he clearly isn't the loudest

_Trashmouth:_ it's Ciri

_Trashmouth:_ but she's like 5 so she can't lead them 

_Queen Red:_ i have never seen anything more accurate in my life 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ That's so fucking true 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I can just imagine that omfg 

_Spaghetti:_ that's so TRUE 

_Spaghetti:_ god i love them 

_Queen Red:_ Ciri and Yen would try to set up Jaskier and Geralt because they couldn't fucking handle them being oblivious 

_Big Billiam:_ that's my life currently 

_Big Billiam:_ cough cough 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ SAME BILL 

_Queen Red:_ that's such a MOOD 

_Mikey Moo:_ wait i've never seen the show so like tell me who'd be Geralt and who'd be Jaskier 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Richie is Jaskier and Eddie is Geralt 

_Queen Red:_ facts 

_Queen Red:_ Jaskier’s a fucking crackhead and Geralt is all “fuckIng SHUT UP” 

_Mikey Moo:_ it's literally them 

_Big Billiam:_ it is 

_Big Billiam:_ god bless 

_Spaghetti:_ if there was ever a moment when you're weren't trying to be like This 

_Spaghetti:_ i'd cry 

_Queen Red:_ shut up useless gay 

_Spaghetti:_ bItcH 

_Trashmouth:_ okay but it's true 

_Trashmouth:_ you're a grouchy old man who hates having any type of fun 

_Trashmouth:_ and i bet you'd punch me in the stomach if you could for me being annoying

_Spaghetti:_ i would roundhouse kick you in the face 

_Trashmouth:_ seems like a Geralt thing to say 

_Spaghetti:_ fuCK OFF 

_Queen Red:_ Eddie just accept the fact that you're him 

_Spaghetti:_ nO 

_Spaghetti:_ leave me alONE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Maybe he just wants some coin 

_Queen Red:_ oh shit i didn't think of that 

_Queen Red:_ toss a coin to your witcher folks 

_Trashmouth:_ i have such an attachment to that song 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Don't we all 

_Spaghetti:_ it's so bad 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm in the shower and i'm like tOsS a cOiN tO yOuR wItChEr

_Queen Red:_ DICJDJDJDJD ME TOO 

_Queen Red:_ wait can we all agree that her sweet kiss is basically Jaskier's love confession and annoyance towards Yennefer 

_Spaghetti:_ hA IT'S TRUE 

_Trashmouth:_ YES WE CAN AGREE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ YES 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i have no idea what's going on 

_Big Billiam:_ god same 

_Mikey Moo:_ i was lost from the very moment this conversation started 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i feel the need to watch it now 

_Trashmouth:_ DO IT BENJAMIN 

_Trashmouth:_ IT'S SO GOOD 

_Queen Red:_ YES DO IT 

_Spaghetti:_ D O I T 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ IT'S THE ONLY REASON I LIKE LIVING 

_Big Billiam:_ well fuck ima watch it too 

_Mikey Moo:_ shit i gotta do it too 

_Spaghetti:_ YES 

_Queen Red:_ PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU SHIP JASKIER AND GERALT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ If you don't 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will unfriend you 

_Spaghetti:_ that's a little intense Stan 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yeah you're right

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'll just 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Cry 

_Spaghetti:_ lmao same though 

_Queen Red:_ i'm sure they will 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah like everyone does 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i'm watching the first one now 

_Queen Red:_ good luck ! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ iwjdjd thanks ! 

_Big Billiam:_ i'll watch it later 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm babysitting Georgie 

_Queen Red:_ OMG CAN I SEE HIM 

_Big Billiam:_ lmao sure 

**Big Billiam sent a picture**

_Queen Red:_ OMGJENEJENER HE'S SO CUTE 

_Queen Red:_ AND SO ARE YOU 

_Queen Red:_ THE TWO BEST BOYS IN ONE PICTURE 

_Spaghetti:_ I WANT HIM OMG 

_Spaghetti:_ HE'S SO CUTE 

_Trashmouth:_ BAB Y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You guys are adorable !! 

_Mikey Moo:_ AWWWWJEJEEJ 

_Big Billiam:_ WJSJDJDJ <3 

_Big Billiam:_ he says thanks for the compliments 

_Queen Red:_ B A B Y 

_Queen Red:_ LEMME TALK TO HIM PL E A S E

_Big Billiam:_ okay but Richie behave please 

_Trashmouth:_ i don't need to be told to BEHAVE 

_Spaghetti:_ in what world do you fucking live in 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up Spaghetti 

_Spaghetti:_ fuck you 

_Big Billiam:_ this is exactly what you shouldn't do 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ This is exactly why I hate both of you 

_Queen Red:_ SHUT UP AND BEHAVE AND GIVE ME BABY DENBROUGH 

_Mikey Moo:_ baby Denbrough

_Queen Red:_ shut UP 

_Big Billiam:_ okay seriously BEHAVE 

_Big Billiam:_ Georgie is coming 

_Queen Red:_ Y A Y 

_Big Billiam:_ hey!!!! 

_Queen Red:_ omg hi!!!! 

_Big Billiam:_ how are you?? 

_Queen Red:_ i'm good ! 

_Queen Red:_ what about you?? 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm great! 

_Big Billiam:_ me and Bill are watching disney movies ! 

_Spaghetti:_ that's amazing 

_Spaghetti:_ disney is god 

_Trashmouth:_ that's true 

_Trashmouth:_ i live off that shit

_Trashmouth:_ WAIT OH NO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ RICHIE YOU IDIOT

_Staniel The Maniel:_ THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M SO R R Y 

_Queen Red:_ there's no chill here ever 

_Queen Red:_ literally EVER 

_Big Billiam:_ it's okay! Bill swears a lot at home

_Spaghetti:_ he's a heathen 

_Queen Red:_ i'll be having a talk with him later about that 

_Big Billiam:_ my parents stopped trying

_Queen Red:_ lmfao wow 

_Queen Red:_ it's that bad? 

_Big Billiam:_ yeah 

_Big Billiam:_ i don't mind it though 

_Big Billiam:_ i usually just ignore it 

_Spaghetti:_ why are you such a good child 

_Big Billiam:_ because good is good to be 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're so pure 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'm crying 

_Trashmouth:_ i didn't think you had emotions Stan

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I very much want to say mean things

_Staniel The Maniel:_ But I will not 

_Trashmouth:_ if that's the case

_Trashmouth:_ Georgie stay forever please 

_Big Billiam:_ i would but Bill really likes you guys! 

_Queen Red:_ aw omg 

_Big Billiam:_ he talks about you guys a lot 

_Big Billiam:_ and he's laughing and smiling a lot more than he used to 

_Spaghetti:_ AW BILLIAM 

_Trashmouth:_ HE DOES LOVE US 

_Queen Red:_ i'm SOFT 

_Mikey Moo:_ that's so CUTE 

_Big Billiam:_ he talks about one of you A LOT 

_Queen Red:_ who???? 

_Big Billiam:_ sjdbenrjdd 

_Trashmouth:_ Bill sniped his brother 

_Spaghetti:_ Bill didn't want his secret out 

_Mikey Moo:_ dude bring him back 

_Mikey Moo:_ i wanna know WHO 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow 

_Big Billiam:_ akdjekebejdb 

_Big Billiam:_ COOL I'M BACK 

_Trashmouth:_ did you kill him 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Big Billiam:_ but we don't need to listen to what he was going to say 

_Queen Red:_ we very much do actually 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Spaghetti:_ yes 

_Big Billiam:_ fuck off 

_Mikey Moo:_ what are you hiding Billiam 

_Big Billiam:_ stOP 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm not afraid to leave

_Trashmouth:_ coward 

_Big Billiam:_ >:( 

—

**Queen Red, Big Billiam - Private Message**

—

_Queen Red:_ it's Stan 

_Big Billiam:_ fuck 

_Big Billiam:_ how'd you know 

_Queen Red:_ you aren't subtle at all

_Queen Red:_ it's like fucking Richie and Eddie 

_Queen Red:_ little less annoying but still obviously pining 

_Big Billiam:_ does he know ? 

_Queen Red:_ lmao funny joke 

_Queen Red:_ he won't see it until you smack him in the face with it 

_Big Billiam:_ well that's never happening 

_Queen Red:_ you sound like Eddie 

_Big Billiam:_ eW 

_Queen Red:_ exactly

_Queen Red:_ so tell him 

_Big Billiam:_ after we meet in person 

_Queen Red:_ that's so FAR 

_Big Billiam:_ it's that or never 

_Queen Red:_ ugh fine 

_Queen Red:_ but if Reddie happens before Stenbrough 

_Queen Red:_ i'm killing you and myself 

_Big Billiam:_ that's fair 

_Queen Red:_ good 

_Queen Red:_ now you better go prepare that confession speech 

_Big Billiam:_ omg shut up 

_Queen Red:_ :) 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Mikey Moo - Group Chat**

—

_Queen Red:_ IT'S STAN

_Spaghetti:_ I FUCKING KNEW IT 

_Trashmouth:_ Y E S

_Mikey Moo:_ FUCK YES

_Mikey Moo:_ WHAT NOW 

_Queen Red:_ HE SAID HE'D SAY SOMETHING AFTER WE MEET 

_Trashmouth:_ FAIR ENOUGH 

_Mikey Moo:_ JENDJD OKAY 

_Spaghetti:_ THAT'S FAR BUT WORTH IT 

_Spaghetti:_ MY SHIP IS THRIVING 

_Queen Red:_ M O O D 

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Virgins Club**

—

_Trashmouth:_ hey Bill :)))) 

_Big Billiam:_ Beverly you bitch 

_Queen Red:_ i didn't do anything !!! 

_Big Billiam:_ i don't believe you 

_Queen Red:_ how dare to have such little faith in me 

_Big Billiam:_ ಠ_ಠ

_Queen Red:_ ugh fine 

_Queen Red:_ i ratted you out 

_Queen Red:_ but i'm not sorry 

_Big Billiam:_ out of everyone 

_Big Billiam:_ you told RICHIE 

_Queen Red:_ i actually told all of them 

_Big Billiam:_ BEVERLY 

_Queen Red:_ WE ALL KNEW ANYWAY 

_Big Billiam:_ W H A T E V E R 

_Queen Red:_ oh don't be a baby

_Big Billiam:_ if life could give me one blessing 

_Big Billiam:_ it would be to take you off my hands 

_Queen Red:_ you hear that ? 

_Queen Red:_ that's the sound of me slamming my hand down on the unfriend button 

_Spaghetti:_ i am so offended right now 

_Spaghetti:_ i didn't even do anything and you attack me like this 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Wow what the fuck 

_Trashmouth:_ INSULT US IN ANY OTHER WAY PLEASE 

_Big Billiam:_ no 

_Big Billiam:_ fuck you 

_Spaghetti:_ that's it 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm throwing you to a wyvern 

_Trashmouth:_ make it a basilisk 

_Trashmouth:_ they're poisonous 

_Spaghetti:_ oh yeah 

_Spaghetti:_ Bill i'm throwing you to a basilisk

_Big Billiam:_ fine

_Big Billiam:_ i won't have to witness your horrible pining then 

_Queen Red:_ don't listen to him 

_Queen Red:_ he has no rights 

_Queen Red:_ banish him to the basilisk

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Do it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ We don't like people who attack us in such a way 

_Big Billiam:_ fun fact 

_Big Billiam:_ they won't make up

_Big Billiam:_ and they'll stay not friends

_Big Billiam:_ and they'll never date 

_Trashmouth:_ FUN FACT 

_Trashmouth:_ FUCK YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ RT 

_Queen Red:_ RT 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ RT 

_Big Billiam:_ hmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, it's been years and i am sorry. okay, but like, it's not my f a u l t. i have found myself in a spot where i am so emotionally invested in the witcher that i can't fucking function. precisely why this chapter is revolving around the show. like. it's such a good show and i like it so much. (clearly i have not stopped projecting myself onto the Losers Club) bUT whatEVER. it's fine. leave me alone about it. 
> 
> also like none of my friends watch the show, so this is me complaining about it to everyone who could possibly watch it. LIKE I WILL NEVER BE OVER EPISODE 6. I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE. FUCK YOU GERALT OF RIVIA. YOU HURT MY BABY BARD. 
> 
> Eddie is me, though. like i literally sat in my bed for a fucking hour and a half just because i was SO PISSED. like i am HURT. and i will NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT. 
> 
> okay. i'm done now. sorry. lmfao. i have much anger. 
> 
> b u t tt t tt t ttjksjkasd. we have some good gay content. i hope this chapter was worth the like 8 year gap you had to wait. probaby not, but it's chill. we all knew i was untalented when this fic started, so00. 
> 
> anyway. the next chapter could possibly be a traditional chapter. i might make it about Bill or Stan. i dunno. i haven't picked one yet. but yeah. i think i wanna do that. we'll see how that goes.
> 
> well, i hope you liked this chapter. toss a comment or like to your author, oh valley of plenty. 
> 
> and hey, if you wanna cry with me about the witcher please come to me @theavengersbitch on instagram or @the-avengersbitch on tumblr.


	15. positivity lessons

**July 11th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Virgins Club**

—

_Mikey Moo:_ who here is most likely to write fanfiction ?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Me

_Spaghetti:_ STAN YOU WRITE FANFICTION ???

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Queen Red:_ FUCKING WHERE 

_Queen Red:_ I WANT YOUR FANFICTION 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Absolutely fucking not 

_Queen Red:_ W H Y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Because I don't trust you 

_Queen Red:_ BITCH??? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You'll bully me 

_Queen Red:_ I WILL NOT 

_Queen Red:_ well what fandoms? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Marvel 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The witcher 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Currently writing a Dear Evan Hansen one 

_Queen Red:_ okay now you HAVE to give me your account name 

_Queen Red:_ those fandoms are >>>> 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will but not here 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I don't trust Richie 

_Queen Red:_ that's valid 

_Trashmouth:_ HEY NOW 

_Trashmouth:_ I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BREATHE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Well stop doing that 

_Trashmouth:_ I'M FUCKING OFFENDED 

_Spaghetti:_ wait i'm sorry but 

_Spaghetti:_ Stan writes fanfiction???? 

_Queen Red:_ he does 

_Spaghetti:_ give me his username

_Queen Red:_ i didn't get it yet 

_Spaghetti:_ Stanley

_Spaghetti:_ give it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Sigh 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Maybe 

_Queen Red:_ YOU PROMISED 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I did not promise anything 

_Queen Red:_ BETRAYAL 

_Big Billiam:_ can i have your account name Stan?

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Queen Red:_ fucking favoritism 

_Spaghetti:_ wow what the fUck 

_Trashmouth:_ that's so gay

_Trashmouth:_ disgusting 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck off 

_Mikey Moo:_ can i have the account name ?

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Hmmm 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ben can have it too 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ !!! <3 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ <3 

_Queen Red:_ i’ll let the Ben one slide 

_Queen Red:_ but the others 

_Queen Red:_ that's just RUDE 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Oh no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I feel so bad 

_Spaghetti:_ why are you so mean 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Cause you guys suck

_Trashmouth:_ : ( 

_Trashmouth:_ watch me cry 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You think that'll make me feel bad ? 

_Trashmouth:_ honestly no 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good cause it doesn't 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm flipping you off 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ouch 

_Queen Red:_ Staniel is mean as fuck 

_Queen Red:_ i’m insulted

_Spaghetti:_ literally same 

_Spaghetti:_ this is an ATTACK 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Jesus fucking christ

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'll give it to you if you just shut the fuck up 

_Queen Red:_ :) 

_Spaghetti:_ :) 

_Trashmouth:_ :) 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ugh 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Heckyheck_Icravedeath ao3 

_Queen Red:_ i’m going to throw something in there 

_Queen Red:_ i have a fan account

_Queen Red:_ theavengersbitch on instagram

_Spaghetti:_ I'M GOING TO FOLLOW YOU RIGHT NOW 

_Trashmouth:_ OH SHIT THAT'S YOU???? 

_Trashmouth:_ I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU FOR SO LONG 

_Queen Red:_ OMFG YOU HAVE ???? 

_Queen Red:_ THAT'S W I L D 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Beverly your account is so nice 

_Queen Red:_ oh my god 

_Queen Red:_ did you just…

_Queen Red:_ did you just COMPLIMENT me ?? 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I did 

_Queen Red:_ excuse me while i go cry happy tears 

_Mikey Moo:_ Stan hasn't complimented anyone else here

_Trashmouth:_ false 

_Trashmouth:_ he compliments Bill 

_Mikey Moo:_ oh yeah

_Mikey Moo:_ how could i forget 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just for that 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will never compliment either of you 

_Trashmouth:_ you'll never compliment me 

_Trashmouth:_ we all know this 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah

_Mikey Moo:_ your hatred for him runs so deep that we all feel it 

_Spaghetti:_ honestly though 

_Spaghetti:_ it like,,,almost runs deeper than my anger 

_Big Billiam:_ Eddie nothing runs deeper than your anger 

_Big Billiam:_ you are best friends with satan 

_Big Billiam:_ nothing can compare to your anger levels with that on your records 

_Queen Red:_ he's right

_Queen Red:_ Eddie's too fuckin feral for this world 

_Spaghetti:_ am i supposed to be offended or complimented?? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ both ? 

_Spaghetti:_ both it is 

_Trashmouth:_ i like how he immediately agrees with Ben 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Ben is the only one who is worth agreeing with 

_Queen Red:_ facts 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ omg stOp 

_Queen Red:_ never !!!! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ <3333

_Queen Red:_ <333 

_Trashmouth:_ look at you two 

_Trashmouth:_ being all heterosexual

_Queen Red:_ and you ruined the moment 

_Trashmouth:_ that's my talent :) 

_Spaghetti:_ not a very good one 

_Trashmouth:_ fuck you 

_Spaghetti:_ no 

_Mikey Moo:_ i hate you two 

_Mikey Moo:_ so much 

_Trashmouth:_ excuse me Micycle 

_Trashmouth:_ that is not the time you should be taking with your father 

_Mikey Moo:_ you're not my dad 

_Trashmouth:_ that's it 

_Trashmouth:_ you're grounded 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm- 

_Big Billiam:_ god can you fucking imagine being Richie's kid 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I would waste no time in sticking a fork in the nearest toaster

_Queen Red:_ STANWJSKEJDJ 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'M ONLY BEING HONEST

_Trashmouth:_ i would be a great father what the fuck 

_Spaghetti:_ you would not 

_Spaghetti:_ you would totally be the parent that tries to be cool but it just doesn't work because you're a wine mom and you're just a mess 

_Big Billiam:_ i have never seen something so accurate in my life

_Mikey Moo:_ ‘because you're a wine mom’ 

_Mikey Moo:_ i'm fucking SOBBING 

_Queen Red:_ EDDIE I'M- 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ EDDIE I LOVE YOU 

_Spaghetti:_ A W W 

_Spaghetti:_ I LOVE YOU TOOOO 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ they're bonding over their hatred for Richie 

_Big Billiam:_ it's the best bonding material

_Queen Red:_ honestly it is 

_Queen Red:_ bonding over mutual hate for someone is a new level of bonding

_Mikey Moo:_ truth 

_Trashmouth:_ i agree but not with the fact that i'm the person they hate 

_Trashmouth:_ kind of insulted 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Good 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You're a fuckin loser 

_Trashmouth:_ so are YOU

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Just you

_Trashmouth:_ no yOu

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No yOU

_Queen Red:_ actually 

_Queen Red:_ ALL of us are 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ honestly yeaH 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ but that's why we're such close friends! 

_Big Billiam:_ i hope to achieve Ben's positivity one day 

_Mikey Moo:_ wow mood

_Spaghetti:_ fucking rt 

_Queen Red:_ re-goddamn-tweet

_Trashmouth:_ fucking same 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Lmao same 

_Big Billiam:_ Ben you're friends with a bunch of depressed/soverynegative children

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i will teach you the ways of positivity :) 

_Queen Red:_ #blessed 

_Spaghetti:_ #blessed

_Trashmouth:_ #blessed 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ #blessed 

_Big Billiam:_ #blessed

_Mikey Moo:_ #blessed 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ lesson one 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ you gotta smile ! 

_Spaghetti:_ that's unrealistic 

_Spaghetti:_ give me something else

_Benjamin Franklin:_ okay 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ pat yourself on the back for doing anything even if it's real small 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Absolutely not 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ What do you think I am? 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ okAy 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ um 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ drink water 

_Trashmouth:_ ew no 

_Queen Red:_ my bloodstream is energy drinks 

_Queen Red:_ consuming water wouldn't help

_Benjamin Franklin:_ uM 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ get sleep 

_Big Billiam:_ unrealistic 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah

_Mikey Moo:_ fanfics exist 

_Queen Red:_ OH YEAH 

_Queen Red:_ I'M TOTALLY GUNNA JUST READ ALL STAN'S FICS TONIGHT 

_Spaghetti:_ FUCKING S AME

_Trashmouth:_ i will too and then i will bully him 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck oFF 

_Big Billiam:_ I'M GUNNA DO IT TOO 

_Mikey Moo:_ WAIT SAME 

_Queen Red:_ rip sleep for all of us 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ this,,,

_Benjamin Franklin:_ this is exactly why all of you aren't positive,,,

_Trashmouth:_ stop pointing it out 

_Mikey Moo:_ yeah come on 

_Mikey Moo:_ let us live 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i mean 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ alright 

_Mikey Moo:_ thank you 

_Trashmouth:_ he's silently judging us 

_Queen Red:_ oh for sure 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'M silently judging us 

_Spaghetti:_ satan is also silently judging us 

_Big Billiam:_ he has every right to 

_Spaghetti:_ he really does 

_Queen Red:_ we're messes 

_Trashmouth:_ we're hot***** messes 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Everyone but you 

_Trashmouth:_ i hope one day you actually will be nice to me 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I hope you're not hoping too hard 

_Trashmouth:_ sIgh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i really self-promote myself in this chapter? yes, yes i did. listen. all i'm saying is you should totally check out my marvel fanfics and wither fanfics and other it fanfics if you haven't. and like. my instagram is lit. i sweaR. @theavengersbitch :)))))
> 
> anway. i'm sorry for this chapter being so short and it being so long since i last updated. just. life has been super shit lately and i've been like trying to write other stuff, but my brain just isn't working. i dunno. i'm just really fuckin tired. and very done with life. 
> 
> buT. it's fine. everything is fine. i am v i b i n g. d o n t w o r r y. 
> 
> but anwayy. we have some ship stuff. and like i promise one of the next few chapters will be part traditional. i just wanted to get one out to you guys, so that's why this one just the chat. 
> 
> leave a like or comment and let me know what you think of it so far!


	16. i swear to satan

**July 12th**

—

**Trashmouth, Spaghetti, Queen Red, Benjamin Franklin, Big Billiam, Mikey Moo, Staniel The Maniel - The Virgins Club**

—

_Trashmouth:_ before i say what i want to say i need you all to know that i'm not a satanist 

_Queen Red:_ i'm already unsettled but do continue 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Please don't continue 

_Mikey Moo:_ you would be the one to be a satanist out of all of us though

_Spaghetti:_ i agree with Mike 

_Trashmouth:_ i'm offended wtf 

_Trashmouth:_ Stan over there is more likely to worship satan than i am 

_Queen Red:_ i see your point

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Fuck you guys

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I’m a good boy 

_Trashmouth:_ you hear that everyone 

_Trashmouth:_ Stan's a g00d b0y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will break your kneecaps 

_Trashmouth:_ that's something a satan worshipper would say

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up you dickwad 

_Queen Red:_ omg why do we let them talk 

_Spaghetti:_ good question 

_Trashmouth:_ you both love me so fuck you 

_Spaghetti:_ that's a false statement bitch 

_Queen Red:_ hmMmM 

_Spaghetti:_ d i e 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ the chaos never stops 

_Mikey Moo:_ no it does not 

_Big Billiam:_ okay but 

_Big Billiam:_ isn't Eddie the one who drinks tea with satan ?? 

_Queen Red:_ YOU'RE SO RIGHT BILL 

_Queen Red:_ EDDIE'S THE SATANIST 

_Spaghetti:_ NO 

_Trashmouth:_ YOU GOT BUSTED MOTHERFUCKER 

_Spaghetti:_ SHUT UP I'M N O T A SATANIST 

_Mikey Moo:_ bold words coming from a man who drinks tea with satan 

_Spaghetti:_ >:( 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Be careful guys 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He could unleash satan onto us 

_Spaghetti:_ istg 

_Trashmouth:_ don't you mean ists

_Big Billiam:_ did you really just ‘i swear to satan’ 

_Trashmouth:_ well satanists don't swear to god 

_Mikey Moo:_ he makes a good point 

_Queen Red:_ never thought we'd have a conversation like this 

_Queen Red:_ i'm concerned but so intrigued 

_Trashmouth:_ it'll get more intriguing when i say my piece 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ The piece that started this cursed conversation 

_Trashmouth:_ yes that 

_Spaghetti:_ i'm more concerned than intrigued 

_Mikey Moo:_ me too 

_Big Billiam:_ me three 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ me four 

_Queen Red:_ wow you're concerning the nice kid Richie 

_Trashmouth:_ nooo it's okay 

_Trashmouth:_ there should be no concern

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Doubtful 

_Spaghetti:_ v e r y doubtful 

_Trashmouth:_ shut up >:( 

_Trashmouth:_ but anyway 

_Trashmouth:_ i'd let satan - or Lucifer if you will - snap me like a glowstick

_Mikey Moo:_ okay but who 

_Mikey Moo:_ like there are many different lucifers/satans

_Queen Red:_ valid statement Mike

_Queen Red:_ certain answers will either have me agreeing with you or will have me confirming your satanist self 

_Trashmouth:_ supernatural lucifer 

_Queen Red:_ OKAY VALID 

_Big Billiam:_ honestly yeah 

_Mikey Moo:_ not my type but i respect it 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i'm concerned 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ deeply concerned 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I wanna hate that but I agree 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He makes me Feel Things 

_Spaghetti:_ Staniel i can't BELIEVE you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Shut up you drink tea with him 

_Spaghetti:_ yeah but i don't wanna FUCK him 

_Queen Red:_ invalid statement

_Queen Red:_ you simply can't not wanna fuck spn lucifer

_Spaghetti:_ i don't wanna fuck him 

_Trashmouth:_ you're missing out Eds 

_Mikey Moo:_ leave the boy alone 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No 

_Mikey Moo:_ bitch 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Jerk 

_Mikey Moo:_ I LOVE YOU 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I love you too <3 

_Mikey Moo:_ <3 

_Queen Red:_ still shocked whenever Stan's nice 

_Trashmouth:_ ME TOO THOUGH 

_Spaghetti:_ he's only nice to Bill and Mike i swear 

_Big Billiam:_ i'm better than you guys 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ Yes you are 

_Trashmouth:_ gaygaygaygay 

_Queen Red:_ i wanna be mad but i ship it 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I will end you 

_Queen Red:_ do it and i'll fucking haunt you 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You can't if I salt and burn you 

_Queen Red:_ SOMEONE MAKE SURE THIS FUCKER DOESN'T SALT AND BURN ME 

_Trashmouth:_ I GOTCHU BEV 

_Queen Red:_ THANKS BB 

_Trashmouth:_ OFC 

_Spaghetti:_ i hate all of you 

_Big Billiam:_ you have so much hatred in you 

_Big Billiam:_ are you sure your time with luci hasn't fucked with you 

_Mikey Moo:_ i’m sorry did you just call satan luci 

_Big Billiam:_ yes i did 

_Spaghetti:_ luci doesn't influence me 

_Spaghetti:_ i was born this full of hate 

_Trashmouth:_ concerning but okay 

_Spaghetti:_ dude you're the one who wants to fuck him 

_Trashmouth:_ HE'S HOT SHUT UP 

_Queen Red:_ ALRIGHT ENOUGH ABOUT FUCKING SATAN 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ concerned x 1000 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ You'll never not be concerned here 

_Mikey Moo:_ he makes a valid point 

_Trashmouth:_ yeah idk we're kinda unstable 

_Big Billiam:_ maybe just a little 

_Spaghetti:_ maybe just a lot 

_Queen Red:_ definitely just a lot 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ yeah but it's okay !! 

_Trashmouth:_ i s i t o k a y 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ No it's not 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ He's just too nice to say otherwise 

_Queen Red:_ imagine having the willpower to always be nice 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ well i used to get bullied so i try to be nice to everyone so they don't feel how i felt 

_Queen Red:_ EXCUSE ME YOU GOT BULLIED 

_Queen Red:_ BY WHO 

_Queen Red:_ I NEED NAMES AND ADDRESSES 

_Trashmouth:_ OH FCK NO

_Trashmouth:_ NO ONE BULLIES BENNY BOY 

_Spaghetti:_ I'LL GET LUCIFER ON IT 

_Mikey Moo:_ YES GOOD DESTROY THEM 

_Big Billiam:_ I WILL THROW HANDS 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ I'LL BREAK KNEECAPS 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ guys !! calm down !! 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it was forever ago 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ it's good now 

_Trashmouth:_ if you say so ,,, 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i do say so 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ really it's okay 

_Queen Red:_ okay but 

_Queen Red:_ we all love you very much and don't you ever forget that !! <3 

_Spaghetti:_ she's right <3 

_Trashmouth:_ yes she is <3 

_Big Billiam:_ yes <3 

_Mikey Moo:_ absolutely <3 

_Staniel The Maniel:_ 100% <3 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ thanks guys 

_Benjamin Franklin:_ i love you too !! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG !!!
> 
> life's been rough as i'm sure you all know. and a LOT of shit has been going besides the whole coRonA viRuS with me and it's just been a hot mess. i don't wanna get into it that much but basically family sucks and feelings are trash and sometimes i wanna throw myself into the cage with lucifer. bUt it's okay. i'm vibin and i have friends who help a lot !! and my doggos are just the best. and yeah lmaooo. 
> 
> i don't know if this means that i'll start updating regularly again. i just really wanted to get a chapter out and let you guys know that i'm still alive and not just giving up on this fic. 
> 
> and i'm sorry that it's kind of a short chapter. i was gunna make it longer but it was like three in the morning and i didn't have the brainpower to make it longer. the future chapters will definitely be longer though!! 
> 
> and yeah. this chapter is based on supernatural because that's a new obsession of mine. so future chapters might have more shit about supernatural because i project onto my characters so hard. for real though. it's a good show. i recommend it!! (richie's statement is valid. i'd totally fuck supernatural lucifer. oops?) 
> 
> anyway!! thanks for reading <3 and thank you all for the support even when i was updating. it means the world to me <33 i love you guys !!

**Author's Note:**

> i'll update this a lot because writing group chat fics are so much easier than writing traditional fics. i mean,,there will be traditional chapters in this, but it's mostly group chat antics:) we need group chat antics. they are great, thank you very much
> 
> but yeeeeehaw 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the first chapter! let me know what you think in the comments! and possibly hit that like button:))


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